


The Spaces In Between

by wherestheangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural, And then I go crazy, As of 6/22/15 I AM EDITING, Because this is Supernatural, Cas is much more sympathetic, F/M, Follows canon for a slight little bit, For reasons, Gen, Language, Major character death could mean a lot of things, Okay I suck at tags, Please ignore the shittiness of the first three chapters, SPN could've done so much more with the character Eve, Sam looks like a douchebag in the beginning, So I do instead, Soul bonds like whoa, Takes place at the beginning of season four, WIP, back in business, but no worries, but want to finish editing first, have a lot of stuff for further chapters written out, it'll be okay, so this WIP is actually going to be a WIP, wooohoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-24 07:25:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 61,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/937010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wherestheangel/pseuds/wherestheangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would've happened if there had been another Winchester? What would've changed? Where would they end up? And exactly how did Castiel set this all in motion? </p><p>Essentially, I had this crazy idea that involved wanting there to be a strong female character that wasn't secondary. So, I gave the Winchesters a sister, Katie. I don't want to give too much away, but she's been with them since they were little, and John accepted her as one of his own (for reasons that are plot bunnies, so I'm not telling right now).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shake Me Down

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so the summary kind of gives where the idea came from, but there are also a few things I want to make note of in here:  
> 1) Right now there is only a teen rating, mostly for language and slight ickies. That may change in the future, we'll have to wait and see how it goes.  
> 2) Yeah, there aren't any pairings yet. I'm kind of a huge Destiel fan, but I'm too chicken shit to try and write it for my first work, so I might opt for the OFC and Cas, since they kind of have a crazy chemistry to begin with. Again, we'll just have to find that out as we go.  
> 3) I also had trouble not having the beginning of this fic feel awkward to me. I'm introducing a character into characters that are already established, in a few scenes that are from the show. Once I kind of go off into AU land, I feel much better about it, so don't judge too quickly on just the first couple chapters! (Also- I might go back and rewrite them later) 
> 
> And lastly, if you are reading this, I hope you come to love it as much as I have. Feedback is always welcome, and basically just thank you for being awesome <3  
> (I do not own Supernatural or any of it's characters, believe me I wish I did. Oh and also, almost every single chapter is titled from a song, so those are also not original)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Updated chapter :)

 Katie was worried. This was something they had never dealt with, something they hadn’t even truly believed existed. _Angels_. It was an angel that had lifted Dean from Hell and put him back together. Castiel had literally fought through the depths of Hell to find him too, which would’ve been more than enough to try and swallow, but then he had dropped the bomb that _God_ had commanded it. _This is all a bit too much._  

  _I mean God? Seriously?_ There were just far too many questions to even begin thinking about with _that_ bit of information, and it’s doubtful that many could even be answered. So yet again, the three Winchesters; Sam, Dean, and Katie, were wondering what was going to happen next.

 The worst part was, these angels didn’t come across as easy creatures to deal with. In all honesty, they seemed like a bunch of assholes. Although, she wouldn’t deny that there was something incredible about them that she couldn’t put her finger on, besides the fact that they existed of course. Simply put, they were fascinating. And although they had to use human vessels to speak with most mortals, it was clear to her that these beings were much more than that. Katie ended that train of thought as her brother’s voice pulled her attention back to the conversation.

 “I mean, what the hell would God want with me?” Dean asked while pacing around Bobby’s library. His face was crinkled into a frown, and not for the first time since Dean had come back, she wished he would smile like he used to.

 “No clue,” was all she could muster in return. She understood why he was worthy and what qualities of his they might need, but nothing beyond that. It was all a little too big for her to wrap her brain around.

 Sam just shook his head and shrugged, and their combined lack of insight appeared to irritate Dean even more, if the scowl he wore was anything to go by.

 It was Bobby who interrupted all the brooding with the slam of an old, heavy book on his desk a few minutes later. “Well quit crying about it and help sift through all this angel lore.” The sudden outburst snapped the three young hunters back to reality, each nodding and grabbing a book.

 Katie took the one she had chosen; a tattered, very-clearly-centuries-old book, up to her room. While her brothers usually chose to do their research at a table, she preferred whatever bed she happened to be sleeping in. It was nice to be able to spread out and take notes. As a bonus, if the material was extra boring, she’d fall asleep on a comfortable surface. And while their lifestyle didn’t provide many comforts, this was something she was more than willing to take for herself.

 As she set her book down on the bed, an odd ruffling noise filled the room. She reflexively pulled her gun out and spun around, finding herself face-to-face with an angel. Castiel looked first at the barrel of her gun, and then slowly up at her.

 “Oh, thank God.” Katie breathed, not missing the irony of that statement, while trying to hold the gaze that seemed, and honestly might have been, staring straight into her soul. She lowered her weapon as the angel said “Hello Katie.”

 “Hello Castiel,” she replied, still fighting down the adrenaline rush that he had caused by his appearance.

 “I apologize for scaring you, I seem to have forgotten that humans have such reflexes.”

 “Don’t worry about it, I’ve been a little jumpy lately,” she answered, trying not to show her embarrassment at pulling a gun on an angel of the lord. Although, she reminded herself, it wasn’t nearly as bad as when Dean and Bobby had first met Castiel, who had ended up being shot multiple times and stabbed for good measure.

 After a couple of moments without a reply, she continued, “If you’re looking for Dean, he’s downstairs.”

Having still not taken his probing eyes off of her, which _hey, this is getting pretty weird_ , he replied, “I am here to see you.” She wanted to make a remark about how all he had done so far was _see_ her, but decided now was probably not the best time.

 “Oh,” she answered, more than a little confused as to why he would want to talk to her. “Well, what can I do for you?”

 “Your brother is not the only one Heaven requires,” the angel stated simply, somehow sounding like he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on her life.

 Katie couldn’t quite contain her surprise. “What? I mean... you need me... as well?” she questioned with what could only be described as an astonished look on her face.

 His face twisted into one of mild curiosity. “You do not believe that you are good enough to serve Heaven?”

 “Well it’s not that exactly. I just- I get why it’s Dean. He’s a natural leader. But, I’m not like him. I can’t be as obedient. I care _too_ much about people, to the point where I’ve almost gotten us killed an unfortunate number of times. He’s so steadfast in that he knows the right call every time, but I certainly don’t have confidence in any decisions that I’ve been forced to make. So, I understand why Dean was chosen, but I can’t imagine what I could possibly do,” she answered, feeling both a little winded and shocked at how easily the self-criticism came.

 There was a slight upturn at the corners of Castiel’s mouth. _Was he smiling? Could angels even do that?_ “That is exactly why you have been chosen. You do not seek nor want power, yet you have the potential to lead. Your compassion is your greatest strength, worthy of the highest forms of praise. Although I would caution you from disobeying Heaven on a regular basis, as their forms of persuasion rival that of Hell’s.”

 Katie had not been ready for that answer. _Nope, not one bit_. She just stared back into Castiel’s cerulean eyes with her mouth slightly open. When she realized how she must look, she quickly shut her mouth and asked, “How do you know?”

 “Your soul. It shines bright, brighter even than Dean’s in a way,” the angel answered with a look that made her think that maybe he didn’t know exactly how or why hers was different, just that it was.

 “I knew it!” She couldn’t stop herself from shouting aloud, immediately regretting it and turning a deep shade of red.

 Castiel’s look of confusion returned until she mumbled with her eyes on the floor, “I thought you were looking at my soul earlier.” When she dared to look back up, the small bit of a smile had crawled back onto his face. She returned it, hers much more obvious of course.

 “So what does this mean then?” she asked, trying not to sound as nervous as she was.

 “It means that when the time comes, you and Dean will be among Heaven’s greatest assets.” With that, Katie looked at him again, eyes wide with the gravity of that statement. “You will understand as that time approaches, I promise, but for now that is all I can say on the matter,” Castiel added, seemingly catching all the questions swimming behind her eyes.

 “Alright, I’ll wait,” she assented, taking the hint that that was the end of the conversation. He nodded, and finally looked away from her.

 “I will be seeing you soon,” Castiel said, sounding more like a statement and less like a farewell.

 “See you soon then,” Katie answered, trying to hold back the wave of disappointment she felt in his leaving, which _what? Why the hell should she care?_ Before he disappeared, Castiel looked back with that same curious glance, as if he had heard the disappointment anyway.

 _Shit. It was bad enough that Dean was being pulled into this Heaven crap, but me too? What difference can I make_? She honestly didn’t know the answer to that question.

 She was also very wary of the fact that Sam, her other older brother who hadn’t been on good terms with her since... Dean went to Hell, was _not_ caught in between, at least not yet. _Shit, they are not going to like this_.

 As she slowly made her way downstairs, still in a bit of shock, she realized exactly how much Dean was going to flip. It was one thing for Heaven to want him to be “their bitch,” as he put it, but it was an entirely different thing for one of his family members to be involved. If there was one thing about Dean to be sure of, it was that family came first, and nobody was allowed to mess with them.

 As she walked into the library, no one looked up at her. They had all decidedly put their attention into their books, probably to get away from their own thoughts. It was only after a few minutes of her standing there, somewhat in a daze, that Dean noticed and looked up. Due to how well he could read his siblings, a knowing that was completely natural to him by now, he immediately sensed that something wasn’t quite right and asked, “What’s wrong?” in a tone that was both gentle and urging.

 “Well, uh, an angel popped into my room,” she started tentatively, not looking at her eldest brother but feeling the tension rolling off him, “and he said that I was needed by Heaven.”

 At this she did look up, and she saw exactly what she had expected. Dean was _pissed_ , and at the same point, pissed didn’t even begin to explain it. Sam, on the other hand, looked as confused as Katie had, which she admits to herself stings a bit.

 “Which one?” Dean huffed through gritted teeth.

 “Castiel,” she indicated, before looking back at the floor. She felt awful for throwing him under the bus, but knew that Dean would find out sooner or later and it would be better for everyone if it were sooner.

 Dean nodded, took a second, and growled out, “Castiel would you mind joining us?”

 Funnily enough all Katie could think was that if a tone of voice could kill, Castiel would be long gone by now. Then again, that same noise, which she now realized was the flapping of wings, announced that Castiel had heard Dean, and had obliged him. _Poor choice_.

 Unsurprisingly, Dean immediately started going on a rampage about keeping important information like that a secret, and why would they need both of them, and everything else he could really think of. Castiel just patiently listened and let Dean rant. Katie couldn’t understand how he managed to stay so calm and unaffected. She would either be screaming back or cowering in a corner, depending on what they were arguing about, but the angel just passively listened and assessed ( _maybe- it was kind of hard to read what he was doing when he kept such a set face_ ) what Dean was saying.

 Finally, when Dean had finished, Castiel reciprocated, in a tone that was almost menacingly low, “I did not know that she would be included until I was given orders to inform her. I am not sure what exactly will be asked of either of you, and I am not high up enough to go around asking. But you will not talk to me like that _ever_ again. I raised you from Hell Dean Winchester, and I can just as easily throw you back in.” The air around the angel seemed to shimmer with electricity, making Katie’s hairs standing up on her skin, and effectively shutting everybody in the room up.

 The silence broke when Katie muttered, “Dean just doesn’t like not knowing what’s going on. And once you pull in family, you might as well forget it.”

 At this, the angel’s posture softened a bit, and he turned to her and said, “I am used to more respect in Heaven.” He took a step towards her. “But I am sorry that I do not have the answers to your questions.”

 Katie was unsure what to make of the look the angel was giving her in that moment. He kept walking towards her until he was about a foot away, staring in that completely unnerving way he kept doing. He seemed to be attempting to figure her out, as if that piece he was unsure of would magically present itself. She stared back curiously, somewhat lost in those unearthly blue eyes, wondering if she could catch glimpses of the things they’d seen.

 “So... do I have any part in this?” Sam asked, breaking her concentration.

 Castiel slowly looked away from her and towards her brother. “I do not know at this time, I have truly told you everything.” At this, Sam nodded, and promptly looked back down at the floor.

 “I will be in touch. Until then, I suggest you keep hunting. Pray to me if you are in serious danger, and I will come as soon as possible,” Castiel advised as he looked around the room at each of them. And with that, the angel left, leaving the Winchesters to look at each other with expressions of exasperation and exhaustion. It had been a long day.


	2. I Can See You Starting To Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, it's a little awkward in the beginning, just please bare with me, IT GETS MUCH BETTER I PINKY PROMISE. Enjoy <3

 “Rise and shine sleeping beauty,” a voice rang into Katie’s silent bedroom, cutting her sleep to an unfortunate end. _Ugh._ _How was it morning already?_

 “Morning,” was all she managed to mumble as she slowly started to wake up.

 “Ah, just as bright and bushy-tailed as always I see,” Dean’s voice came, and he said it with such a smile in his voice, she had to open her eyes and look. He was standing in the doorway, holding a cup of coffee and looking at her so fondly she felt her heart lighten more than it had in months. It was all she could do to not jump out of bed and kiss him. Instead she let her mouth follow a similar curve and beamed back at him. He couldn’t possibly understand how much it meant to her for him to genuinely smile, but there he was smiling at her as if it, and more importantly _he_ , had never left.

 She rolled out of bed and actually did end up hugging the crap out of him, which he returned with surprising vigor. Maybe he did realize how much she wanted him to be happy. Or maybe he had his own motives, either way it was one of the best starts to a morning Katie had had in a while.

. . .

 After they finished eating breakfast and were about to return to the stack of books on angels that was seemingly never going to decrease, Bobby came into the kitchen looking as worried as he could manage, which honestly just made him look slightly irritated. “We’re going on a trip today.”

 Everyone nodded. They knew by know that if Bobby tells you you’re doing something, you’re doing it. It was Dean who decided to ask what was wrong.

 “A friend of mine a few states over hasn’t answered any of my phone calls, and it’s not like her. I want to go check into it,” he answered, and the uneasiness in his voice made no one question him further. Bobby Singer didn’t do uneasy often.

 While Bobby led in a dusty old pick up, the Winchesters followed in the Impala. As usual, Dean and Sam sat in the front, while Katie sprawled out in the back. She had decidedly not gotten enough sleep, and would gladly take the opportunity to get more.

 Once she was out, Sam decided to take an opportunity of his own. “So, what do you think they need Katie for?” he asked, unable to fully hide the incredulity on his face.

 Dean decidedly didn’t like Sam’s tone, but was unsure what to make of it, which didn’t happen often. “I’m not even sure of what _I’ll_ be able to do for Heaven, but I can see some reasons they might want her,” Dean answered, being completely honest, but not wanting to fully answer the question just yet.

 He was curious as to why Sam seemed so anti-Katie lately. She did not share their blood, sure, but she had been with them since shortly after Mom died, meaning Sam couldn’t even remember a time that she wasn’t there, so she was very obviously family. There was no questioning it, even their father had loved her like one of his own, which was saying something, because all Dad ever really cared about was revenge and family. There had been no problems between the two in the past, and it worried Dean about what must have happened while he was in Hell, because it clearly wasn’t good.

 “Oh yeah, like what?” Sam shot back with a borderline aggressive tone, one Dean _definitely_ did not like.

 “What is your problem Sam? You know as well as I do that she’s a great hunter, has good instincts, and cares a helluva lot more than most people. If those aren’t qualities Heaven wants, I don’t know what they do want,” and on the inside Dean resisted the urge to reach across and slap the back of his brother’s head.

 Dean’s outburst had startled Katie awake, but she was still sleepy enough to not understand what had been said. “Whaaa,” was essentially all she got out, making both her brothers jump at the sound.

 “Jesus, Katie, wanna not do that again?” Dean said, glad to be taken out of the conversation before he hit Sam. Seems as though Hell did a number on his patience, which he supposed was not really surprising.

 “Well maybe if you hadn’t started yelling I wouldn’t have woken up in the first place,” she fired back, realizing as she said it that Dean had been yelling. At Sam. That was weird in itself, considering Dean just got out of Hell and shouldn’t have too much to argue with Sam about, but she had probably interrupted whatever argument they were having, so maybe that was a good thing.

 “Sorry though, I didn’t mean to scare you guys. I’m actually grateful you woke me up, I’m pretty sure I was about to have a rather- unpleasant dream,” she added a few moments later. She shivered at the thought. They always started the same way, with her walking into that godforsaken living room and finding Sam holding the torn up body that was Dean, and yet no longer was. From there on in, it always just got worse.

 That was the last thing Dean wanted to hear. Katie, arguably the most emotionally and mentally stable out of all of them, was being haunted in her sleep. He wanted to ask her about it, but he was positive he didn’t want to hear the answer. He knew it was most likely something involving his death nearly five months earlier, and he didn’t want to confirm that he was inflicting pain on his little sister. Not that she would ever blame him for it, that he knew, but he couldn’t shake the feeling either way.

 “It’s alright, I wasn’t really mad to begin with, just don’t like little girls making me jump is all,” Dean admitted, winking at Katie in the rearview mirror as she grimaced. A small smile crept on to both of their faces as Sam pointedly stared out the window.

. . .

 When they arrived at the big white house numbered 42, a car was parked in the driveway, which was the first bad sign. _If she had been home, why hadn’t she picked up the phone for two days straight?_ Once they had gotten inside the house, it became pretty clear. Behind a salt ring laid a woman in her early forties, with her chest ripped open.

 It was grotesque, but there were no signs of sulfur, which meant the initial theory of demon was more than likely not the cause. The salt ring would also work against spirits, but none of the hunters had ever seen a ghost strong enough to _rip_ open the rib cage along with the other damage present. Katie shuddered at the thought.

 “Shit,” Bobby muttered darkly to himself. He immediately got on the phone, calling as many other hunters as he could. A surprisingly large number didn’t answer. It was quickly decided that they would split the names of about ten that weren’t responding on any of their phones into two groups, one group went to Bobby and Sam and the other to Dean and Katie. They would keep in touch and meet back at Bobby’s once they’d checked the homes of every hunter or otherwise confirm their whereabouts.

 Katie was glad when Dean had chosen to have her ride along with him. She honestly hadn’t been able to get enough of him since he got back. She had spent her whole life with Dean either looking after her or being around (usually trying to look after her) and those four months had easily felt like four years. She could still very clearly feel the ache of having him ripped away, of missing him so much that she could barely function. But he was back now, and there was no way she was going to miss a chance to be around him.

 Once they had been on the road for a little while, Dean asked, “So, what have your nightmares been about?”

 Her heart stopped for a split second, the image that immediately came to mind making her want to throw up. _Of course he wouldn’t be able to let it go_. After forcing the bile back down her throat she answered, “What have yours been about?”

 Dean hadn’t been prepared for that. Katie always managed to surprise him, somehow noticing things that others didn’t. Normally she wouldn’t say anything unless she had to; which meant her nightmares were apparently bad enough that she felt she had to deflect. He knew he would have to give a little to get anything out of her.

 “Hell,” was his simple answer after a minute of reflection.

 She gasped slightly. “But I, I thought you didn’t remember?” she almost cried at him.

 Her reaction again surprised him. Dean knew full well that she cared about him, but it hit him exactly how much she really did love him in that instance. He turned to look at her and saw that a tear was slowly making a path down her face.

 “I lied,” Dean admitted. He was confused at how relieved he felt, but he wasn’t going to deny that it felt amazing to tell someone.

 “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. She thought her nightmares had been bad, but she was ashamed at the thought now. Dean had been dreaming of Hell. _There was no comparison._

“So, now that you know what keeps me up at night, why don’t you tell me what’s up with you?” he asked.

 “Dean, it’s nothing compared to what you deal with, I’m so ashamed that I even-”

“I’m not asking whether you think it’s worse, I’m asking what’s upsetting you,” he interrupted.

 The curt way in which he had said it, and the caring in his voice was enough to push Katie to tell him.“Okay. It- I, Well it always starts with me walking into the room and seeing you on the floor, with Sam holding you, but you’re already gone. I swear even just picturing it right now makes me feel sick,” she stopped for a second, took a deep breath and continued, “I go to him. That’s when he always looks up at me and tells me to stay the hell away from the both of you, like it was my fault you were gone, or that he wished it had been me. And then I remember being alone for a while, not being able to do anything, just crying and aching and missing you.”

 “Remember? You mean he actually did that?” Dean asked, hoping to God she said no.

She hesitated, not really meaning to give that away, but after a moment, softly started, “Yes- and he wouldn’t let me come to the burial either. I thought maybe it was his way of coping, putting it off on me, so I stayed away, but then he started accusing me of not caring and not trying to get you. But I love you so much and I did everything I could think of and please don’t think I didn’t,” she pled as a few tears quietly pushed through.

 “It’s okay Katie, it’s okay. I would never think that,” he reassured as soothingly as he could manage. Underneath it he was feeling the beginnings of anger igniting in his gut, _why the hell would Sammy do that?_

 “Just, please don’t hate me too,” she said softly after a few minutes, sounding incredibly defeated. He cringed, mostly because it was something he hadn’t heard from her since she had been very little. Dean put his arm around her at that, and pulled her as close as possible while still driving.

 “I could never hate you, not ever, please believe that.” That seemed to calm her down a bit, the tension easing slowly from her body. He was going to have to have a serious talk with Sam, because this clearly was not just some small argument that went away, this was big. He just needed to understand what had caused it.


	3. And I Ended Up Losing It All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in case last chapter didn't fill you in, this is my version of the Raising of the Witnesses. Things get kind of angsty for the new character, actually scratch that, it's super angst. Ah well, enjoy :)

 “I’m uh, sorry for breaking down like that,” Katie remarked when they arrived at the first house a few hours later.

 “There’s no reason to apologize, you should know you can always talk to me about anything,” Dean replied, and he truly hoped she believed that, even if he normally had the emotional range of a potato; although he supposed none of this was _normal_ anymore. She turned and gave him a faint ghost of a smile, and turned back towards the house.

 What they found was worse than the original. They called Bobby and what they’d discovered hadn’t been pleasant either. So they went on to the next house on the list. Out of the five that Dean and Katie had to check, four had been very obviously dead, while it appeared that the other was out on a case. Whatever was causing this, it appeared it was specifically targeting hunters, and immensely powerful. _Scary stuff_.

 It got scarier when Dean and Katie arrived back at Bobby’s. The truck the others had driven was in the driveway, but there was no sign of either Sam or Bobby anywhere. As they got closer to the house, they sensed that something was definitely wrong. It was too-- quiet. Dean looked at Katie and she nodded. They moved silently back to the Impala and pulled their salt rounds and shotguns from the trunk, and made their way, quickly but cautiously, to the house.

 Dean found Sam in the bathroom being attacked by... _wait was that the FBI agent Lilith had killed? How the hell could he have gotten here?_ Decidedly pushing the thought aside for when they actually had time for it, he shot a salt round into Agent Henricksen and helped his brother up off the floor.

 Katie was searching among the maze of junkyard cars for Bobby. It was clear that he wasn’t in the house, which left the alarming number of rusted vehicles scattered on his front lawn to search through. She hurried, swiftly checking each one, all the while praying that he was still alive. As she came around a corner she noticed a car that had ice on the outside of it. _Bingo_. She quickly ran over to it and took aim at the two little girls holding Bobby’s mouth shut. As she fired the shotgun, she wondered how they could’ve possibly gotten here.

…

 Once they were all safe inside Bobby’s panic room, each silently thanking God Bobby had had the foresight to create it, they started to discuss what the hell was going on. Luckily for them, Bobby and Sam had gotten up-close-and-personal enough with the ghosts to see an unusual marking on them, so they decided their best bet was to figure out what that sigil was. Bobby, thinking ahead as he usually does, had stocked the room with a great deal of books, leaving them with nothing to do but read.

 Some hours later, it was Bobby who found what they had been looking for. “Shit,” was all he could mumble for the second time in the past few days. He waited a moment, letting what this was sink in. Then he sighed deeply, “Well, this is some high-powered stuff. It’s called the Raising of the Witnesses. Some big bad brought back the spirits of people we feel responsible for dying, and made them pissed at us. They’re juiced up enough to do what they did.”

 “Shit,” was the agreed term at this point.

 “That ain’t the worst of it though,” Bobby went on, knowing that this last part was going to freak everyone out, “it is also one of the 66 seals to break Lucifer from Hell, and once he’s broken free- well, the Apocalypse will begin.”

 What he got were three faces with almost the exact same expression, a jaw-dropped, eyes-wide, what-the-hell-is-going-on type of face. _Damn, sometimes they did look a lot like John_.

 “But, I don’t- What?” Katie babbled, not quite able to wrap her head around the information.

 Dean understood exactly how she was feeling on that one, this was just too much. _If this was some biblical bullshit then why hadn’t Castiel said anything about it? … Oh no. That’s what he and Katie were going to have to do, stop the fucking Apocalypse? How they hell were they supposed to do that?_ He looked over at her and it appeared she had just come to the same conclusion, because her eyes got wide as she whispered, “No.”

 “I think it is,” was all he could manage to say to her. Bobby and Sam looked at them for a second, and when realization dawned on them, they were both equally as shocked, yet somehow more vocal.

 After more than a few "goddamned angels," Katie spoke up, “I know this is a lot to take in right now, but I think it would be best if we focused on putting these spirits back to rest so no one else dies. I’m sure there are other hunters trapped like we are at the moment, so let‘s pull it together. We can freak out and call Castiel later,” she stated, with an assurance that brought everyone back to the moment, including herself.

 Dean turned to Sam. “That’s another reason why,” he quipped with some heat behind it. Sam just frowned and looked away. Katie pointedly ignored what was going on, as she figured it was about her, and she honestly didn’t want to know.

 “Alright, I have a spell here that oughta put them back, but all the ingredients are scattered around the house, cause you know how much luck we got,” Bobby announced with the most sarcasm he’d managed in a while. “Dean I need you to get the lamb’s blood and ritual knife from the kitchen, Sam I need you to get the big heavy red box from the upstairs guest room closet, you’ll know it when you see it. And Katie I need you to watch my ass while I get everything set up. Everyone meet back up in the library by the fireplace ASAP. Is that clear?”

 He got three nods from the Winchesters, each heading towards the door. Now that they had a plan, they were all business. As Katie opened it, something made her stop, a look of sheer confusion on her face. When the door swung open the rest of the way, it became apparent why.

 Her ghost had appeared. It was a man that looked to be about her age, with striking green eyes, dark brown hair, and a shorter, toned body. Dean had to admit that he looked very familiar.

 “Ryan...?” She asked, her heart breaking as realization hit her. “You’re not dead, how are you here, you’re not dead,” she repeated, sounding somewhat manic.

 “Yes, actually I am Katie,” he contended in a menacing voice, “A few hours after you left me the demons arrived. They tortured me for hours trying to get information on you,” he continued with a smirk on his face, finger pointing at her as if to make it more clear than it already was.

 Tears had begun to collect and threaten to spill as she lamented, “But how- how could they have found you? Oh god, I’m so sorry.”

 “Sorry! Sorry doesn’t cut it; you can’t even begin to imagine what they did to me. I suffered, and didn’t tell them a goddamn thing because I loved you. You obviously never loved me, I know that now. If you had, you wouldn’t have left me so unprotected and alone. You ran off as soon as your precious Dean magically reappeared, without a second thought to me. And you know what the best part is Dean?” he taunted, looking up at him, grin widening, “I had been looking at rings just the week before.”

 At that, Katie sobbed once, as if it had slipped past her defense. Her body shook a little, and Dean couldn’t help but to sharply intake air at the thinly veiled accusation.

 “She promised that once you had figured out what had happened with you, she would come back for me, and teach me to become a hunter if I wanted. She wanted to be with me,” he said as he turned back to face Katie, “Guess that’s not gonna happen huh?” and at that she made a small noise that was more than likely a whimper, making him laugh in response.

 “Ryan please,” she whispered, barely able to get the words out, “I wouldn’t have left you alone if I had known.”

 His face suddenly twisted with rage “You think I care now? Fuck you, Katie,” he screamed, and with that, he reached inside the gap the door being open had created and straight into her chest, pulling her close. Her legs buckled with the sudden pain that wracked her body, his arm the only thing keeping her up. She coughed at the blood that had come to her lips.

 “Just finish it then,” she whispered.

 “It will be my pleasure,” he answered with a sneering grin, one he had never worn in life. He pushed his arm in deeper and started moving around inside, causing a stream of blood to slowly make it’s way out of her mouth as she waited to die.

 Dean was not having _any_ of this. He assessed the situation, still a little shocked at what was happening, and decided her getting shot with salt rounds would be much less painful than whatever he was doing. And although he kind of felt like an asshole for doing it, he picked up his shotgun and aimed it right at her dead boyfriend’s face.

 As he disappeared, Katie dropped to the floor, unconscious. There was still blood flowing out of her mouth, and Dean was unsure if he had waited too long or not. He picked her up and put her on the bed in the panic room, knowing that he had caused her this pain. He had called her away, and Ryan had paid the price.

 He suddenly remembered why the man had looked so familiar, she had dated him in one of the high schools they had been to, which means they more than likely had never stopped. The occasional disappearance when they weren’t working a case made sense now. She had loved him, no matter what this curse was telling him to say, and he had loved her. And Dean had ruined that.

 As he laid her down, he turned around to the shocked faces of Sam and Bobby, both of whom had also lost the love of their lives to demons. “Bobby, do you think you can set up without her? She’s still bleeding pretty bad, we need to hurry,” Dean stated as he reloaded his shotgun.

 “Yeah, I’ll manage,” Bobby agreed, never fully taking his eyes off of her motionless body.

 “Alright then, let’s go,” Dean commanded, feeling a new rush to stop whatever evil had brought this upon them. As they were leaving, he prayed to Castiel to heal his sister as soon as possible. He tried to sound as polite as he could too, figuring the angel would be more likely to help if he was.

. . .

 While Dean was rushing in the kitchen to get the supplies Bobby needed, the ghost of Meg Masters appeared, and boy was she pissed. He felt a twang of guilt at what had happened to her, another person whose life he had ended. _Fucking hate collateral damage_. She wasn’t as chatty as Ryan had been though, and there was an arm in Dean’s chest quicker than he had time to react to.

 All he knew then was searing pain. Well that, and Meg’s snarling face. He struggled, trying to reach something, anything really, that could possibly help him. Her grip was too strong though, he couldn’t get an inch. When this realization caught up with him, he started to panic. The only thing he had going for him at this moment was that she seemed to want to take her time in inflicting pain.

 Luckily, Sam hadn’t had a lot of trouble upstairs, so he was able to shoot a round through Meg before much damage had been done. He pulled Dean up and dragged him back to the library, having grabbed the supplies himself. Dean looked up at him gratefully, and got up on his feet once they were inside the salt circle Bobby had put down. His chest hurt like a bitch, but his normal mantra of power through the pain was serving him well.

 Sam and Dean stood on either side of Bobby, taking down the spirits as they appeared, each one screaming about what the Winchesters had done to them. It turns out that the two little girls were “murdered while Bobby watched,” which was more than likely an exaggeration, but Dean could tell it got to him pretty badly.

 When they had run out of ammo, which didn’t take as long as they would’ve hoped, they had to get creative. Dean grabbed the iron fireplace tools and tossed one to Sam. It kept the ghosts at bay for a while, but allowed them to get closer than was comfortable.Then there was a sudden, loud shattering noise as the spirits broke the windows, allowing the wind to ruin the salt circle. _Fuck. Shit. Bad. This is bad_.

 Things got out of hand rather quickly after that. Sam was knocked and pinned against a wall with a dresser, and someone had gotten a hold of Bobby. He motioned for Dean to get ready, and as Bobby dropped the bowl with the mixture and finished the incantation, he managed to catch it and throw it into the fire, banishing all of the spirits back to rest.

 Dean was on his feet the second they were gone, running back downstairs to the panic room. He hoped against all hope that Castiel had heard him, and that she wasn’t already dead. He didn’t know what he would do if she was... he pushed the thought from his mind before it went places he didn’t want it to. He opened the door slowly, dreading what he would find, and saw that she was still curled up on the bed, but Castiel was by her side, as if he had just arrived.

 “Is she... alive?” Dean asked, hardly daring to breathe.

 “Yes,” Castiel acknowledged, looking up. “Barely, and I do not think she wants to be, but yes she is alive.” Dean sighed a breath of relief, hoping that maybe he could try and fix the damage he had done.

 “How do you know what she’s thinking?” he asked, as he realized what the angel had said.

 “If I chose to, I could push into her mind and see precisely what she is feeling, but right now her emotions are so strong they are-- flowing out of her,” he paused for a moment then added, “It’s always been very easy for me to see her soul, which is in a great deal of pain at the moment,” he finished, staring at her with the softest expression Dean had ever seen on his face.

 The way the angel had said it struck a chord with Dean as well; it was like he actually cared about her, as if she wasn’t just some tool for Heaven to him. _Weird. And It’s always been very easy for him to see her soul? Always? What the hell was that supposed to mean?_ “Why do you seem to care so much about Katie?” Dean blurted out, unable to hold back the question.

 “There are many reasons. She is, what I believe to be, a good example of humanity’s greatest qualities, somewhat like you,” Castiel revealed as he looked back down at her, lowering his voice as he continued, “I know you want me to give you more information than that, and I will admit that there is a larger reason, but I cannot tell you at this time.”

 “Why?” Dean asked with no real fire behind it.

 Castiel looked up at him as if he had expected a fight, but was pleasantly surprised to find that they were headed in a different direction. “Because knowing could put both of you in danger, myself as well if the right person were asking questions,” he answered truthfully.

 Dean was shocked into silence. His brain, which normally was ten steps ahead of him working towards an end goal, was completely unable to process this fully. Before he could speak, the angel looked up at him with such intensity in his eyes, it made Dean hold the questions he had on his tongue.

 “Now is not the time for this story, trust me” he added simply, and Dean, still dumbstruck, just nodded.

 Castiel put his hands on Katie’s chest, and a bright, pure white light erupted on the spot where their skin met as he fixed the damage that Ryan’s spirit had done. It took longer than Dean had thought it would, a few minutes in fact, but the angel explained why without his asking. “She tried to stop me. Her soul actually tried to stop me from healing her,” Castiel remarked, with an astonished look on his face as he looked up at Dean.

 “You were able to though weren’t you?” Dean asked, hoping to God that the angel had had the strength to overcome her.

 “Yes, I was,” Castiel answered, but there was an odd look on his face as he added “And once I did, she latched onto my grace.” _Did Katie find comfort in the angel_? If she did, there was no way Dean was going to let him leave until she was better, or at least awake. He couldn’t let her slip away.

 “Will you stay then, at least until she wakes up?” Dean asked, with a pleading in his voice that was mirrored in his eyes.

 Castiel nodded. “I am going to see if I can ease her thoughts,” he announced slowly, as he put his hand to her head and disappeared.


	4. I've Got Nothing Left Inside of My Chest, But It's All Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the beginning of this chapter is still a tad bit awkward. Honestly I've been trying to edit these first few chapters for months to make them smoother, but it really wasn't working that well. From the middle to end of this chapter however, I am very pleased with. And there is generally a great deal less awkwardness from here on out :)
> 
> Updated with da edits! Also I would like to point out that Cas doesn't usually actually listen to their thoughts- he's just started to pick up their habits. He's no fool, as we all know, so there's that too. Although inside her head he kind of can't help but see/hear things so that's basically the exception. There's another way he'll get glimpses but that's for later :)

_Dean. Sam. Ryan_. A repetitive reminder of everything she’d lost, mocking her and terrifying her at the same time. Everything around her felt heavy with the burden that comes with guilt and mourning. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself, even as she felt the weight try to drown her. As her breaths started to hasten and become gulps, Katie detected a presence beside her. She opened her eyes, which she hadn’t realized were shut, to find Castiel standing next to her.

  She turned to him, “Is it really you?”

  He gave her that little head tilt he did when he was confused. “Yes?” he answered, staring at her in his usual way.

  "Oh. Uh- I’m glad,” she was embarrassed to admit it, but it was true. Even as she spoke, there was a calmness she hadn’t felt before settling around her. And there was something else about the angel, something familiar. Which was really weird.

  Instead of answering, he quirked his eyebrows a tiny bit, as if he had heard her thoughts. She admits to herself that he very well may have considering where they are.

. . .

  He had heard her. _Maybe she has picked up on the bond, even if she has no idea what she has stumbled upon_. Castiel would have liked to tell her everything right then and there, but knew it was safer for all of them if he kept quiet. Plus there was still something about her soul that bothered him, something he couldn’t quite see or put his finger on. He needed more information before he told her anything.

  “I will help anyway I can,” he admitted to her, feeling a new emotion- _pleasure? happiness?_ \- when her face eased a bit.

  Then she did something Castiel had not expected. She wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. He was unsure of what to do, but assumed returning the gesture and putting his arms around her was the correct response, which he did after a moment of hesitation. She leaned her head onto his chest and- _was she crying?_ Castiel was again unsure of how to proceed, so he just continued what he had been doing, albeit a little more cautiously. After a while, he even started to stroke her hair as he had once seen Dean do when the pair had been much, much younger. Not that he had had time to watch over them as often as he would’ve liked back then, but he had apparently seen enough to help him now.

  He looked around at her thoughts and memories, and although he wasn’t surprised at what he saw, he had hoped she would feel less guilty about things she couldn’t have controlled. The anguish was thick around them, so thick he felt it resonate deep within his grace, and he wondered how she would deal with it.

  Angels did not have as many emotions as humans did and they certainly weren’t as sharp, which he was thankful for as he felt her pain. And while he had felt sorrow at the loss of some of his brothers and sisters in the past few hours, it seemed fleeting and minuscule compared to the mixture of grief that she was feeling.

  “Katie?” Castiel started tentatively after some time, “you shouldn’t blame yourself for any of this, it is not your fault.” She didn’t respond, but did seem to calm, as if she was attempting to reign herself in before answering. He continued, “You need to wake up now. I will be there if you want me to be.” At this she looked up and nodded; a small, defeated nod, but a nod nonetheless.

. . .

  Dean could’ve cried with joy as Castiel reappeared and Katie slowly sat up. It had been hours since the angel had gone into her head, and Dean was starting to worry that he couldn’t save her.

  She turned to him and opened her mouth to speak, but he quickly jumped in front of her, “I’m sorry I pulled you away from him,” he said softly as he moved towards her and wrapped himself around her completely.

  “I don’t blame you Dean, I really don’t. I should have brought him with me, especially knowing the fact that you had just been _raised from Hell_ ,” she answered quietly, burying herself in his embrace.

  “There’s no way you could’ve known they even knew about him. I mean hell, I didn’t realize you guys were still together until he mentioned it,” Dean reasoned, trying to use logic to soothe her.

  She just pressed tighter, “That’s why I didn’t make it obvious, I hoped he would never even be noticed.”

  Castiel spoke next, breaking the silence that had settled pleasantly in the room. “Katie, you should go upstairs and eat, Dean and I need to discuss something and then we will follow you up.” She seemed reluctant to leave, but didn’t have it in her to put up a fight, so she went slowly up the stairs.

  Dean turned to the angel after she was out of earshot. “What the hell took so long?” he scolded with his usual angry tone, which Castiel now recognized he used when he was scared.

. . .

 

  Dean knew he was being irrational by taking it out on him, but he couldn’t even help himself at this point.

  “Watch your tone Dean,” Castiel fired back, taking care to stare him down with a particularly threatening gaze. “I couldn’t force her to wake up, she had to do it on her own. All I did was comfort her until she could handle it.”

  Dean thought about this. _What the hell had been going on in her mind?_ He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but knowing might be the key to fixing it. “So, what was going on in there then?” Dean asked, this time with a much more conversational, if somewhat forced, tone.

  “Three different scenes were just repeating over and over. You, Sam, and the third was what transpired here earlier. When she realized I was there she turned and wrapped herself around me and- cried,” Castiel explained, noticing the pained look that Dean had on. “I have not felt pain and guilt like that from a human in a very long time, I am not sure how one recovers from it,” he trailed off, what he had felt clearly etched across his face.

  Dean felt inconsolably hopeless in that moment. _This angel couldn’t seem to handle the pain his sister was feeling, so how was she?_ Actually, maybe he knew. He looked back up at Castiel, “She needs to know she’s _needed_. We’ll keep going on hunts, and then she’ll know that she has a purpose, and people need her,” Dean insisted, a feeling of hope filling him.

  “Heaven needs her as well,” Castiel mused, “And I will try to be more available to you. I told her I would be around for a couple days, but when you call, I will try to respond faster.”

  Dean felt lightened by the fact that he would not be alone in this. “Thanks Cas,” he said, surprised at how easy the name came out of his mouth.

  Castiel gave Dean a look of what could only be described as complete and utter confusion. “Cas?”

  “Well, apparently I just gave you a nickname, buddy. Castiel was a bit of a mouthful anyway” Dean chuckled, patting the angel on the shoulder. _I just gave an angel a nickname. Seriously, what is my life?_ The pair walked upstairs then, Dean feeling a whole lot better than when he’d first walked down, although he would not forget that the angel was keeping a secret.

  When they got to the kitchen, the bit of lightness Dean had acquired quickly scrambled away to wherever the rest of his happiness ever went. Sam and Katie were standing far too close to be having a friendly conversation.

  “I don’t give a fuck what you have to say. Don’t suddenly pretend you care now, I don’t want your goddamn pity,” Katie was screaming. He felt the angel flinch next to him at the blasphemy, but he kept quiet. It would’ve almost been comical, watching the tiny five foot six blonde yell at the six foot four “Moose” as they liked to refer to him; but there was very obviously nothing funny in what was going on right now.

  Sam, who honestly looked a little hurt by what she had said, bellowed back “Fine, just don’t come crying to me when you want someone who understands to talk to.”

  The look on Katie’s face was beyond enraged, “You don’t understa-”

  Before she could finish her eyes rolled back as she passed out and fell to the floor, shocking everyone in the room. Castiel, the only one who didn’t seem rooted to the spot, had luckily been quick enough to catch her before her head hit. Sam looked straight at Dean, and for a second there was a look of remorse on his face, but it quickly melted into one of anger. He turned and stomped out of the kitchen, hoping to get away from everybody as quickly as possible.

  Castiel zapped- or whatever that shit was- Katie to her bed, and waited for Dean to come upstairs. “Is she okay?” he asked as soon as he opened the door.

  “I think it was just a little too much at once,” the angel answered as he took his hand away from her forehead, “She appears to be sleeping, no dreams, just simple unconsciousness,” he added, as if he had read Dean’s next sentence straight from his head _and hey, maybe he had_.

  “I can watch over her tonight, I will get you if anything happens,” Castiel offered, noticing how tired Dean appeared to be.

  Dean looked over at the angel, and couldn’t help but feel like maybe he wasn’t a complete dick after all. “Thanks Cas, that would be great,” he answered, grinning at the confused look that he got as a response.

  “Do you not like it?” Dean asked.

  “I do Dean, I just do not understand why I do.”

  “You’ve probably been around us humans and our feelings too much,” Dean chuckled as he walked out of the room. And maybe the thought of the angel feeling should have been one of concern, but instead it made Dean smile as he got ready for bed.

. . .

  Angels do not sleep by any means, but it is easy enough to slip into one’s thoughts and lose a grip on reality. It was Katie’s voice that brought Castiel back to the little guest bedroom he had laid her down in.

  “Castiel is that you?” she muttered, her voice still thick with sleep.

  “Yes, I am here, just as I said I would be,” he answered, as soothingly as he could, moving closer to her side. Internally, he was confused as to why he was reacting to her in this way, but quickly made an executive decision not to think about it.

  He looked down at her and saw the smallest of smiles on her face as she mumbled “Thank you,” and rolled back over and went to sleep. Katie did not stir for the rest of the night, but Castiel checked her dreams every so often, just to make sure.

. . .

  Dean, on the other hand, did not have a peaceful sleep; in fact he didn’t really sleep at all. His stupid brain could only think of what had happened that day, effectively driving away any bit of happiness he had recaptured to places still currently unknown. _What the hell was he going to do about his siblings? When was he going to stop using the word hell so much? And really, the fucking Apocalypse? Seriously?_

  There was too much guilt mixed in there as well, guilt for all of it. If he hadn’t pulled Sammy away from Jessica, she would be alive, and if he hadn’t pulled Katie away from Ryan, he would still be alive. _I ruined their lives, and what did they have to show for their sacrifices? Him? What was he worth?_ Not much if he had to guess, and certainly not two innocent’s lives, especially now.

  Dean realized he needed to speak with Cas about all this Apocalypse business too. _If seals were already breaking, then why hadn’t he come to tell them? It had been a week since he had told Katie she was chosen, how much could’ve changed in a week?_ The thought of the angel keeping something like this from them pissed Dean off to no end. He decided that in the morning he is going to have a little chat with Castiel, and he would get answers this time. And with that, Dean fell into a troubled sleep.

. . .

  Castiel was not prepared for Dean’s rage as he stomped into Katie’s room the next morning. “When were you planning on telling us about the freaking Apocalypse?” Dean demanded through a clenched jaw. Although he had tried to be quiet, the menacing in his voice woke Katie up, immediately alert to the situation.

  “Yesterday,” he answered, trying to keep his anger below the surface. This human needed to be reminded of exactly how powerful Castiel was and how to give respect where it is due. Now, unfortunately, was not the time for that. Although the angel suspected that he would thoroughly enjoy teaching Dean respect when the time came. “But I got delayed, fighting to preserve a different seal,” he finished.

  Dean thought about that for a moment, a thousand different questions running through his mind. “Well, good job with this one,” Dean mocked, “I’m glad the death of at least ten hunters was nothing to you angel dickheads.”

  Katie shot Dean a warning look, one that said “Don’t mess with the creature who could smite you in the blink of an eye,” but he ignored it.

  Castiel’s eyes flared with anger, and he walked towards Dean until he was a foot away, “Do not dare presume what I care about, I lost half a dozen of my brothers and sisters yesterday, and I left the fight to heal _your_ sister,” he refuted with a deadly tone.

  They stared at each other, at an impasse, until Katie got up out of bed and put a light hand on both of their chests. She looked at Castiel, who was staring down at her hand, seemingly very confused by her use of touch. “Dean really doesn’t mean to take things out you. Please try to understand,” she soothed. Then, turning to Dean, she added, “I would be dead right now if Castiel hadn’t come, and he has been honest with us this far, you should stop being so hard on him.”

  She felt the anger fizzle out of both of them. _I am good if I do say so myself_. “Now, I’m starving so let’s go eat,” she lied, pulling on a smile that wasn’t completely real.

  “Alright,” Dean mumbled as he turned and walked out of the room, too annoyed to notice that her smile hadn’t quite reached her eyes.

  She turned to Castiel, who had a puzzled look on his face. “You are not hungry,” he observed, staring at her. _Oh. So he could tell that then?_

  “I know,” she answered, “but if Dean sees me eating and acting somewhat normal, he won’t feel so guilty. Plus even if my appetite is gone, I should eat something, I’m feeling a little weak.”

  A warmth filled Castiel’s chest at her words. He tried to figure out what this new feeling was, _perhaps pride? was he proud of her?_ , but decidedly pushed it from his thoughts as he nodded at her. He would keep her secret, but he would be much more watchful of her privately.

  Katie smiled a tiny, appreciative smile as she turned to walk out of the room. When she got to the door, she turned back and asked, “You coming?” Castiel hadn’t realized that the invitation was for him as well, but he nodded again and followed her downstairs.

. . .

  “So let me get this straight, Lilith is trying to break the seals to release Lucifer, and there’s hundreds of seals but she only has to pick 66 of them? So it’s totally random?” Dean asked a few hours later.

  Castiel nodded, “That is why it took us an extra day to put the pieces together. When we realized what she was doing, we immediately tried to determine which ones she will be most likely to break.”

  “But you knew it was coming because you said Katie and I would be needed by Heaven?” he questioned, trying to make sense of it.

  Dean was not prepared for Castiel’s look of bewilderment. “Oh. I had not even thought of that,” he replied truthfully, the look of surprise on his face confirming his statement. “They must have. But they did not tell me any such thing,” he agreed, with a hint of anger in his voice that was clearly not directed at anyone in the room.

  “Who are ‘they’?” Katie asked, pulling Castiel out of his thoughts. “God?” she added.

  “No, my Father has- not been in Heaven for some time. Michael and his chosen are at the top level of command,” Castiel explained, still struggling to understand why he hadn’t been told.

  “God’s not in Heaven?” Dean asked incredulously, unsure what to make of _that_ bit of information.

  “No, no one has seen him in at least a thousand years, probably more,” the angel answered, with what could only be taken as sadness in his eyes. “I do not know why my superiors did not tell me about what was happening, and I did not think of it myself. I am a soldier, we are taught to follow orders and try not to ask questions,” he added a moment later.

  “Yeah, I know the type,” Sam said, casting a very obvious glance over at Dean.

  “Be quiet Sam,” was all Dean said in return, really not in the mood to fight over nothing.

  Katie, trying to ignore the urge to throw something at her brother, turned to Castiel. “Could you try to find out what they need us for then? If it’ll get you in trouble don’t, but it would mean a lot if you could try,” she said, trying to fight back the unease she felt. _Why wouldn’t they tell Castiel? Why weren’t they explaining what her and Dean’s purpose was? How were they going to stop the Apocalypse? Was she going to be strong enough?_ She felt a jolt of pain at thinking of why she wouldn’t be strong enough, but she quickly pushed that from her head.

  “I will ask around, if you do not mind me leaving?” Castiel answered looking questioningly at Katie.

  She nodded, “Of course, you’re not my personal angel or anything,” she responded, smiling slightly.

  Castiel nodded and stood. “Pray to me if you need me then,” he said, giving one last glance around the room as he disappeared.


	5. I Know You Care, I See It In the Way That You Stare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a bit longer... and I really enjoy it. This is about the point where things start to pick up. Enjoy :)

  A few days later, the Winchesters decided it was time to start hunting again. They hadn’t heard from Castiel, although Katie had the suspicion that he watched her while she slept, and they needed to be out killing monsters instead of sitting around on their asses waiting for answers. Dean may have also decided that staying idle for this long was of no use to his sister, but obviously that wasn’t why they were going. So when Bobby got word that there was a possible werewolf roaming a city a few states over, they jumped on the opportunity.

  Nearly eight hundred miles, and a very long, awkwardly silent car ride later, Dean pulled up into a shabby motel parking lot. To keep the money they spent to a minimum, they always got one room with two beds, sleeping in shifts. Since someone was always awake, the risk of them being killed in their sleep was greatly reduced, and there was usually research being done, which made them a much more efficient team. The only downfall was, if your shift had just gotten over when something big happened, you were going to be one very tired, usually grumpy hunter.

  As Dean walked into the office to pay for the room, Katie turned to Sam, “I- uh, I’m sorry about the other day,” she said, somewhat hesitantly. 

  “I know you are,” Sam answered, “It’s hard losing someone, it makes you act irrationally, because if you try to actually think, the pain will overpower you. I get that, believe me.”

  Katie wondered if he was talking about Jessica or Dean. If this was his way of explaining himself, she was not impressed. However, he had put what she felt so simply into words, that she couldn’t help but not care who he meant. It only meant one thing to her. _Ryan_. She pushed the name from her mind as she looked up at Sam, “It’s just-- hard,” she whispered, knowing she didn’t need to elaborate. 

  “I know,” he answered softly, taking a step towards her and embracing her. She hesitated for a moment, but then quickly wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. Dean noticed from afar, and waited an extra minute to come back over, not wanting to interfere with the moment. 

  “Sorry to interrupt the feelings fest, but it’s getting a little cold out here,” Dean said as he finally walked back to the car. He turned to Katie, “Samantha is the best at giving hugs though, isn’t she?” he said, winking. 

  “Actually,” Katie answered, smiling, “I think I’ve become partial to angel hugs. There’s something about knowing how unsure I’m making Cas feel that pleases me to no end,” she said, making both brothers chuckle at the thought. 

  “Seriously though, now that he’s a little more comfortable with it, I think he puts his wings around me too, which is.... well it’s indescribable actually,” she added, eyebrows furrowing, as if she hadn’t fully realized it until that moment. 

  “Well, I don’t think you can compete with that, although you could always try with your antlers, huh Moose?” Dean chuckled, both his siblings following suit. It was nice to be able to joke around with them again, it almost felt- _normal_. He knew it wasn’t yet, but maybe it could be soon. And maybe whatever had happened wasn’t as bad as he had thought? 

  “I get that you’re really funny and all Dean, but I suggest you stop before you get in over your head,” Sam answered, the playfulness obvious in his eyes. 

  “Short jokes, how original.”

  Sam only grinned in response.

  As the trio made their way into the room, it became obvious just how crappy this motel was. The walls were grimy, the bathroom looked less than savory, and the beds were indescribable. “Well, I’ll take first shift simply because I don’t want to sleep in either of those,” Katie commented, shooting the beds a look of utter disgust. 

  “You realize since it’s already almost midnight you’ll probably be the only shift right?” Dean stated. 

  “I know, but I slept a lot on the way here, I think I’ll be fine,” she answered. 

  If he was honest with himself, he knew the reason he was unsure about letting her stay up was the fact that she’d be alone. Dean knew Katie wasn’t as okay as she appeared to be, and that things have a tendency of seeming the worst late at night when everyone else is asleep. He knew that _way_ too well, and he didn’t want her to suffer alone. At the same point, he didn’t want to treat her differently, as it could cause a majority of other problems, especially while on a hunt. Because when they were out here, they needed to work as a team, or one of them could die. And he was not about to let that happen. 

  “Well, don’t be afraid to wake me up if you need anything,” Dean insisted, instead of all the other things he was thinking. He figured that this was the best he could do on either side. She wouldn’t _have_ to be alone, and he also wasn’t going to piss her off. 

  She rolled her eyes, “I’m not afraid of the dark anymore bro,” she answered , “I can handle a night shift.” 

  There was no way in hell she was going to wake Dean up. For _anything._ On one hand, he had driven all day and night, and on the other Katie didn’t want him to think he couldn’t rely on her because she was “fragile.” Yes, she was going through a tough time, but she was still pretty badass, no matter what they thought. 

  “Alright, I’m gonna take a shower. You can get a head start on the case if you want,” Dean suggested, already knowing she would have all the information available by the morning. 

  “From what Bobby gave us, I don’t think there’s much to investigate, although I will double check of course, and see if there were any new developments today,” she replied, surprising her brothers a little. Katie and Sam had always been annoyingly thorough with research, no matter how much they came in with, and this was a bit unlike her. They glanced at each other when she turned her back and Dean nodded.

  “Okay, just be ready to fill us in in the morning, the usual,” Dean instructed, trying to sound as casual as possible. 

  “Guys, I’m going to be alright. Seriously.” Katie countered. “You can count on me,” she added in a low voice, hoping they would understand that she needed them to believe in her. 

  They each looked at her. “We know we can, we’re not worried about that. Look, you’re our baby sister, it’s our job to make sure you’re okay,” Sam admitted, surprising everyone in the room. When Dean was finally able to look away from him, he looked over at Katie, who had her mouth hung open, displaying, very obviously, the surprise she felt. 

  “Sam, you do realize I’m like six months younger than you right?” Katie pointed out, the shock of what he’d just said still written on her face. She couldn’t think about how he had actually spoken to her as if he cared again, she just couldn’t. It would hurt much less if he decided to change his mind. 

  “Yes Katie,” Sam answered as he rolled his eyes, “but you were always the baby, you know that.” 

  She smiled a bit, “Yeah, I guess I was,” she acquiesced softly. 

  Dean was completely at a loss for words. He was happy that Sam seemed to be making amends, but there was a bit of unease in that happiness. While he had heard some of what had happened while he was in-- gone, he had the suspicion he hadn’t heard all of it. And actually, the more he thought about it, the more he _knew_ he definitely hadn’t heard all of it. 

  From what Katie had told him, Sam had tried to cut her out. That much had been apparent, but she had actually _left_. She would’ve never left Sam in that kind of pain, no matter what he had said to her. Something else must’ve happened, especially because it appears that they’re not speaking about it. Katie seems reluctant to accept him too, which is more than surprising. Sometime in the near future, he was going to have to sit them down and hear all the details they hadn’t been mentioning. 

  Instead, Dean smiled. “Well, I think I might skip the shower, I’m tired,” he proclaimed, making his way towards a bed. Sam nodded in agreement, “Yeah, me too.” 

  “Goodnight sleepy heads,” Katie said as the boys laid down and faded into the black of unconsciousness. 

. . .

  After her shower, Katie sat down at her computer and opened it up. She had scanned everything Bobby had given her into it with the cheap, portable scanner she had bought during her time with Ryan. _Ugh, it was never not going to hurt even just thinking his name._ Not that she would want it to, it reminded her of why she did this. For all the people like her, who had lost so many loved ones to the darkness. 

  Katie had never known her real parents, she was just a newborn when John Winchester had found her. He never treated her differently though; he had been her father in every respect but blood. It was odd, but Mary, John’s wife, had died right before he had found her, which meant she’d never have a mother. 

  It pained her to think that Dean had filled that position on so many occasions. Doing everything from changing her diapers, to taking her to school, to coming to her concerts, Dean had been an incredible older brother, never once asking for anything in return. He had gone to Hell for Sammy, and had almost died for her more times than she could count.

  Katie didn’t think Dean could ever understand her devotion to him after all that, and maybe it was similar to the love he felt for her, but there would always be the undying gratitude of what he had always given up willingly for them. It was part of the reason why she was still unsure of how to react to Sam. She loved him dearly, but after everything Dean had given up for him, for them, she couldn’t believe how Sam had repaid him…she was roughly pulled from her thoughts as she heard a whimper in the dark room. 

  She looked around wildly, pulling her gun out as she did. To her relief and horror, the sound had come from Dean. As she approached him, she saw that his body was covered in sweat, and he was moving restlessly. His face was contorted into one of pain, and he was making the most awful noises, ones of suffering. Katie didn’t want to know what he was dreaming about, although she knew it was Hell. She decided that she’d wake him up and say that she was feeling crappy; it was the only way to get him out of it and let him keep the appearance that said he was okay.

  As she reached out her hand, a voice said, “Wait,” from behind her. She spun around, knowing who it was already. “Cas, what are you doing here?” she whispered, staring at him curiously. 

  “Just because you are awake does not mean that I am not going to be here, I just chose not to appear to you,” the angel answered. “I see you picked up the name your brother gave me,” he added, the corners of his mouth upturning ever so slightly. 

  “Yeah, I guess so,” Katie answered, smiling a bit herself. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here?”

  “You were crying in the shower, but you seemed better out here, so I thought I would wait until you needed me,” Castiel stated matter-of-factly.

  “You were in the bathroom while I was in the shower?” she asked, something catching at the back of her throat as her voice raised a little. She was unsure why it happened and what it meant, but she decided not to think too much about it.

  “Yes, but that is be-,” he started, but she quickly interrupted, “Did you see me naked?” Her voice was shaky as the thought hit her. 

  “I looked away, as is polite by human standards. But Katie, that is besides the point,” Castiel explained, moving closer to her, “You were crying, I hoped my presence would calm you. I do not think you felt me though.”

  “Oh, well- thank you for trying, and for looking away,” she stammered, as her face turned red at the outburst. “Sorry for t-,” this time it was the angel that interrupted. “Do not be sorry,” he assured simply. They looked at each other for a moment, before he turned to Dean.

  “I will put him into a deeper sleep, one he will not be able to dream in,” he told her as he put his hand to her brother’s forehead. With his touch, Dean slumped and his face relaxed as he fell into blissful unawareness. 

  “Thank you Cas,” Katie repeated as he turned back to her. She couldn’t help but feel warmth towards the angel. Instead of voicing it though, she just returned the angel’s gaze, with as much of it as she could. 

  “So,” she started after a moment, “You _have_ been coming to me at night.” She knew that her brothers didn’t fully trust Cas, for obvious reasons, but Katie found that she did. She trusted him with her entire being, and a part of her ached to know why. _Why did she feel like he’d always been there?_  

  “Yes. Humans seem to be the most vulnerable at night. It made sense to come at that time,” Castiel answered, pointedly looking down at Dean. 

  “I suppose you’re right on that one Cas,” Katie agreed, nodding. She walked back over to the table and sat down, “Would you like to join me?” 

  He nodded in return. “I have always been curious as to how you go about your cases.” 

  And he meant it. In Heaven there were always orders sent down to him, he had never been the one to make the plans himself. Quick decision making if things did not go according to plan, yes he could do that quite well, but the angel was unsure how he would do if he was given the task of formulating his own. 

  Katie smiled, “I’ll be honest, it’s not as fun as it sounds. We usually start by collecting the evidence and determining what kind of creature it actually is. Identification is the most important part because if we’re wrong we’re kinda screwed as you can imagine, so we try very hard not to mess that part up. Next, we do as much background research on that creature as the lore allows. We check local records to see if there has been anything like it in the past, which can sometimes change what we think it is. And lastly, we determine where the thing is most likely to be holed up. With the information we have on the creature, we have a rough estimate as to when it’s at it’s weakest, and we attack at that time with the proper equipment to kill that specific monster,” she explained. 

  “The attack itself is usually pulled out of our asses though,” she admitted a few moments later, “The locations sometimes don’t allow for us to plan much, and even when we do, it usually goes to hell anyway. That’s why our instincts are pretty important, they tend to keep us alive.” 

  That was something Castiel understood very well. “Instinct has saved me in battle more than I care to admit,” he agreed, reflecting on one of those moments in particular, one that involved a certain Dean Winchester’s soul. 

  “Can angels die?” she asked, unsure of what to expect. 

  “Yes Katie. Every being that my Father created can die. There are an exceptionally few number of things that can kill me, but it is possible,” Castiel answered, thinking of his brothers and sister who had perished fighting the past week. 

  “Oh, that was a stupid question. I forgot about your siblings,” Katie said when she saw the look on Cas’s face. “I am truly sorry,” she added, looking up solemnly into his sad blue eyes.

  “Thank you. I feel sorrow at their passing, but I also feel more than that. I think when I was surrounded by your pain, a pain that an angel could never have felt on their own, it left a mark on me. I feel it now as I mourn them. It is not as strong as yours, but it is there, when it definitely should not be,” Castiel professed, looking at her with a sense of grief, which she admitted to herself it hurt to see. “How do you overcome it?” the angel asked softy, as if it was an afterthought.

 _She left a mark on Castiel? He was feeling more than he should?_ She wasn’t sure if this was good or bad, but maybe a more human Cas was one that would be their ally. “Well, I look at what I do have,” she started, glancing towards the beds, “My brothers need me. I know that if I gave up, they would be inconsolable, or at least Dean would be. I would let him down, and I can’t do that.”

  She paused for a moment, but then continued, “It would also mean that Ryan died for nothing, and that is as unimaginable to me as letting Dean and Sam down. I could never let that happen. So, I push along, hoping that one day it will fade. I keep focused on my job, on saving people’s lives, because that is what he died for,” she answered, looking up and catching the angel’s gaze.

  “I do not know what I have to fight for, or that what I fight for is necessarily right,” the angel admitted quietly, sounding more fragile than she cared to admit to herself. _Please don’t let this be because of me._

  “Humanity needs you from what I gather,” Katie started soothingly after a moment, “You’re an honest face in what seems to be a crowd of liars Cas, and us humans are going to need you by our side,” and the thought of the angel giving up suddenly hit her, making her insides flip and something rise in her throat. 

  “And- and you have me Cas, I need you too, that has become increasingly obvious,” she confided softly, looking up at him with an intensity that rivaled his own. “You can’t quit on me.” The gravity of what she hadn’t known she felt hit her like a ton of bricks. He was more than just a guardian angel to her now, she- well, she cared about him.

  Castiel apparently hadn’t been prepared for this reaction either. “Katie, I- I did not realize I was that important to you,” he almost stammered at her.

  “You and me both, Cas,” she answered, smiling a little bit, although she secretly hoped it wasn’t an entirely one-sided notion. 

  “I will not let you down,” the angel replied, as if he could read her mind. Which, she reminded herself once again, he probably could. 

  “Good,” Katie continued, as her smile grew. “Now, would you like to see how we go through the data and come up with answers?”

  “I would enjoy that very much,” Castiel answered, and he scooted his chair closer.

…

  Dean rolled over to find an overenthusiastic Katie discussing her research methods with an equally enthusiastic Castiel. He checked his watch. _Eight o’clock! What the hell? What was she thinking?_ “Uh Katie, did you forget something?” Dean grumbled, a little angrier than he really meant to.

  “No, actually Dean I didn’t. You spent over twelve hours driving and a little angel told me that you didn’t sleep the night before. I don’t want you going after a werewolf not on the top of your game,” Katie shot back, not even looking up from her computer.

  “I am not little,” Castiel contested, with a look of utter confusion on his face. Katie laughed, and Dean couldn’t help but smirk a little, despite his crankiness. 

  “It’s a figure of speech, although it’s usually a little birdy,” Katie explained, smiling at the angel. _Something has changed between the two of them_.

  “We aren’t even sure it’s a werewolf yet, and we don’t know where it is, so I don’t see why I had to sleep late,” Dean complained, turning back to the real problem at hand. 

  “Well maybe _you_ haven’t found all that, but Cas and I have,” Katie retorted, finally turning to look at Dean, eyebrow cocked. “He’s a good student,” she added for good measure. 

  Dean was surprised. _Katie was an expert, he’d give her that, but the whole damn case figured out in less than eight hours? This was a whole new level of speed._

  “Fine. Where’s Sam?” Dean asked, playing off his initial shock. 

  “He went to grab breakfast and coffee. I told him to get you extra bacon,” Katie answered. _Okay, she was in way too good a mood for having not slept._

  “What the hell put you in such a good mood?” he asked, looking suspiciously between her and Cas. 

  “Nothing really. I just like being able to do a job quickly and efficiently. And I won’t have to sleep in one of these beds at all, which is enough to put anybody’s day on the right track,” she started, smiling more than she had in a while. “Oh, and Cas and I are officially friends now,” she added. 

  Dean would’ve been surprised, except he had thought that they were more than just ward and charge for a while now. They both had seemed to care personally about the other, and not just because it benefitted them to. “Well, I’m glad you figured that out,” Dean replied. _Maybe this would work out in our favor later_.

  “Why are you such a grumpy gills this morning?” Katie asked, as if his mood was bringing hers down. It probably was. 

  “Nothing,” Dean answered. Katie stared at him, opened her mouth as if she was going to protest, then thought better of it and turned back to Castiel.


	6. Most of the Time It's Pulled Out of Our Asses

 

  Sam waited for their order to be ready. He felt good, for the first time in a while. Things with Katie were looking up, maybe Dean would leave the situation be (although this one seemed a bit doubtful, but at least for the moment he was), their case looked like it was going to be cake, and he had even gotten seven solid hours of sleep. Today was going well, and as he grabbed the food and coffees, he couldn’t help but smile to himself. _Maybe everything was going to be okay after all._

  The thought immediately flew from his mind as he turned the corner and found _her_ sitting on the hood of the Impala. His stomach dropped at the sight. “Ruby? What are you doing here?” Sam asked, his voice suddenly rough with anger. 

  “What can I say Sam? I miss you,” the demon answered. She looked down at the food in his hands, “Ah, back to being their bitch I see.” 

  “Well, since Katie was up all night _and_ managed to figure out our case and Dean drove all day yesterday, yeah I went and got breakfast,” Sam spat indignantly. He was _not_ anyone’s bitch, and he’d love to hit Ruby just for the thought.

  “Hey, no need to get angry, just an observation,” Ruby conceded as she stood up off the car. 

  “What are you doing here?” Sam repeated as she walked towards him. 

  She smiled as she answered, “I told you, I miss you. We were such a kick ass team, taking down demons almost everyday. We-” 

  “Whatever we had, it’s done. I’m with my family now,” Sam interrupted, making the demon smirk.

  “Well Sammy, I just thought you’d like to know there’s a group of demons nearby.  If you want to go take them out, meet me at midnight in this parking lot,” Ruby went on, “Hope to see you.” Then she walked around the corner and was gone. 

 _Fuck. The offer was tempting, but things were just starting to work out with Katie again._ If she found out, he doesn’t think she’d ever forgive him. _Not this time_. Then the truth would come out to Dean, who would flip shit. _No, he better not go with her_. _But... a werewolf hunt was nothing like taking down demons_. He pushed the entire argument from his mind. _Later_ , he decided. 

  When he returned to the motel room, Dean was sitting up in bed, watching Katie and Cas with his what-the-fuck face on. Sam followed his gaze, the two were laughing. Tears were streaming down Katie’s face she was laughing so hard and while Cas’s laugh was more like the throaty chuckle of a being that didn’t have much of an idea how to laugh, he appeared amused nonetheless.

  Sam turned to Dean, “What’s up with them?” 

  “Dude, don’t even ask,” Dean answered. “I don’t even think I could explain, it’s some kind of holy nerd shit,” he added. Sam and Dean smiled at that, although it was mostly due to the fact that their little sister appeared to be actually happy, and Cas’s chuckle was rather hysterical. 

  After Katie had stopped laughing and breathed deeply for a few moments she turned to Sam “Coffee por favor. One for me and one for the angel.”

  Sam looked surprised. “Has he ever had coffee before?” he asked. With their luck he would react like a sugar-high four-year-old, one who had super strength and incredible power. Needless to say, he would rather not have to deal with it.       

  “No, but he’ll be fine. Caffeine, liquor, and most other things are too weak to actually affect him in normal doses. I just want to see if he likes the taste,” Katie explained, “There are so many things he doesn’t understand or know about, and I’d like to show him some of my favorites.”

  Sam got it now. She had always been a huge coffee fan, not just for its use, but for the taste. “Ah, so you’re trying to see if he’ll be an addict like you. Well, who am I to come in between an angel and the addiction of your choice?” Sam relented, smiling at Katie as he handed the cups over. He had most definitely missed this, and from the chuckle Dean had let out, so had he. 

  Katie handed one of the cups to Castiel, who hesitantly sniffed it. “Smells good,” he informed them, looking up at her as if waiting for permission. She nodded in response. As Castiel took his first sip of coffee, she stared at him in anticipation, wanting to know the verdict. He smiled his slight smile. “Is that-- hazelnut?” he asked. 

  “Mhmm. Do you like it?” Katie asked, perhaps a little overeagerly. 

  “I like it very much,” the angel answered, enjoying the way the coffee warmed his vessel. He especially liked the hazelnut. 

  “Victory,” she announced, grinning widely. Dean and Sam shook their heads. 

  “Looks like we’ve got another one,” Dean mumbled as he got up to get his food and coffee.

. . . 

  Once everyone was situated for breakfast, Katie turned back around. “Alright, so you said you wanted to know what I had in the morning. Somehow, Cas and I managed to get everything, although there’s one detail we’re a little unsure of,” she started, all of the silliness from earlier gone from her voice. 

  “The number of victims would point to two wolves being present, but as we all know that is unheard of. It is more likely that there’s just one that has a pretty big appetite. Besides that, it is most definitely a werewolf. The hearts are missing, along with the coroners all reporting that the wounds appear to be wolf bites, even though that should be impossible for this area. We also found a pattern in the killings that indicates where it is going to appear tonight,” she turned to Cas at this last part. “Would you like to explain?”

  The angel nodded. “When we looked at the data from the past year, it showed that this werewolf has been here for some time now. Each lunar cycle, there are three days that it turns, and it rotates between three different locations depending on what day of the cycle it is,” Cas started. At this point Katie turned the laptop towards her brothers, displaying a map of a section of the city. “On the first day of the cycle, it hunts here,” Castiel noted, pointing his finger to a portion of the map. “On the second it is here, and on the third it is here,” he continued, pointing as he went. “Tonight is the third day of the cycle, so it will show between these two streets at some point during the night.”  

  “The earliest it’s killed was ten pm, but I think if we’re there by 7 we shouldn’t have a problem,” Katie continued, looking pleased in what they’d accomplished. “Also, I set up an appointment with the coroner who has last night’s bodies, just so we can see for ourselves,” she added, almost forgetting that she’d called.  

  “Impressive,” Sam remarked, “Dean and I can go examine the bodies, why don’t you rest a bit before tonight.”

  Katie looked towards the beds, “I would really rather not,” she hesitated, as the look of disgust returned. “I’ll just nap in the back of the Impala. It’s not like I haven’t done that before.”

  Castiel was the next to speak, “I have to go now, Heaven is calling,” he indicated looking a little startled, as he turned to Katie. “I have some information for you before I go. There are certain seals that they want you to protect when the time comes. They will send me to you then. I must leave now though, I have been gone far to long. Good luck tonight,” Castiel blurted out before vanishing. 

  “Well, he sure knows how to make an exit,” Dean muttered as he got up to take a shower. Sam and Katie nodded in agreement. When she heard the shower turn on, Katie stood and decided it was time for that nap. 

  “I’ll be in the car if you need me,” she instructed Sam, yawning as she closed the door behind her. 

 _What was he going to do_? Seeing Ruby today had completely messed with his resolve. He had walked away from her twice so far, he could keep doing it. And a part of him really wanted to believe that, but the fact that he was even thinking about it right now threatened to prove otherwise. There was too much thrill and pleasure in what he had been doing, too much to not want it again. Sam drifted into his thoughts and memories of what life had been like with him and Ruby. It wasn’t until Dean threw something at him that he snapped out of it.

  “What was that for jerk?” Sam asked, more startled than he appeared. 

  “I was talking to you and you were staring off into space, bitch,” Dean answered, changing into his best FBI-impersonating suit. 

  “Oh, sorry,” Sam apologized as he stood up and started changing himself. “Guess I just lost myself for a second, what were you saying?” he asked.

  “I was saying that I’m glad you and Katie seem better, although don’t think I’ve forgotten about it, the two of you _will_ explain what happened, once she’s had more time to recover,” Dean answered, knowing he had probably just pissed Sam off, but not really caring. _Wow I really am in a bad mood today._

  “Whatever,” Sam answered. But inside his heart was racing. He was certain that Dean wouldn’t let it rest until he knew, but knowing him, he’d react much worse than Katie had. She had, or at least had appeared to have, accepted him again, but Sam wasn’t sure Dean would. Maybe Katie could coax him, but it could take her a while. A very long while. It was a mess he didn’t want to think about until he had to, and a small part of him that he kind of hated hoped she would take a long time to recover. 

  When they got into the car Katie was awake. “What’s wrong?” she asked, feeling the tension between her brothers. 

  “Nothing. Right Sammy?” Dean countered, flashing Sam a look. “Right,” he replied through clenched teeth, trying to keep his anger beneath the surface. 

  “Fine, don’t tell me. I’m glad after all my hard work I get to look forward to a great day full of moody assholes who can’t suck up their problems like the rest of us. Thank you so much,” she snapped as sarcastically as Bobby would have. 

  “Sorry,” Dean mumbled, truthfully, a bit shocked at the outburst. 

  “You know, I honestly don’t care right now,” she concluded, and Dean knew that was the end of trying to apologize. “Oh and by the way, I’m only taking one of you with me tonight. I’m not having my ass get killed because you two have some issue, and it’s not up for debate either, so don’t bother,” she added, fuming as she rolled towards the back of the Impala and away from her brothers.

. . . 

  After they had checked out the body and confirmed it was indeed the work of a werewolf, they drove back to the motel in silence. Once there they started preparing for the hunt. The plan was simple, they would wait in the designated area until it appeared, and they would stop it before it killed. They would be extra careful in case there was another one around, even though it was almost definite that there was only one, werewolves didn’t tend to have packs like their wolf ancestors. Katie continued to nap while the boys got the silver bullets ready.  

  “So, I guess we screwed this one up, huh?” Sam commented as he cleaned his sister’s gun. 

  “Yeah I guess we did,” Dean agreed, not looking up from his own gun cleaning. 

  “I haven’t seen her that pissed since- actually I don’t think I’ve ever seen her that pissed at both of us,” Sam reflected, stopping for a moment and thinking. 

  “Well, there was that one time, her junior prom I think. Her date, which come to think of it, was Ryan, came to pick her up and we brought out the baby pictures, and then we introduced him to Dad, remember? I honestly don’t think she has ever been more angry at us than in that moment,” Dean reminisced, laughing a bit at the memory. 

  “I’m glad you guys are bonding over pissing me off, but I’d stop now if you want to be alive to add the new one I’ll give you to the list,” Katie threatened from the doorway. Her voice was much less aggressive than it had been earlier in the day, but both brothers were wary of her nonetheless. “Oh, and nice bringing up the dead fiancée.” She had flinched a bit when she had heard his name, but nobody needed to know that except her. Dean had the decency to look a bit ashamed.  

  “Dean, you’ll be coming with me tonight, be ready to go by six,” she added as she made her way to the shower. 

  “You know, it’s scary how much power she actually has over us, I wonder why she doesn’t use it more often,” Dean mused aloud. Sam simply nodded in agreement.

. . . 

  When Katie got out of the shower, she found all of the weapons cleaned and ready to go, including her own. “Thanks, and I’m sorry about my attitude,” she state lamely, not entirely meaning the last part. 

  “We deserved it,” Dean responded, tucking his gun into his pants. 

  Sam handed Katie hers, “Yeah, we did,” he added as she took it and stuffed it into her jeans just by her hip. She simply nodded in return, as in a “oh trust me, I know”.  

  “Alright, let’s grab some dinner before we head out,” Katie instructed, wanting to get the show on the road. She also really couldn’t stand being in that room anymore. 

  When they got to the diner, Dean ordered his usual double cheeseburger, Sam got a salad, and Katie went on a limb and got a decidedly tasty sounding quesadilla. The Winchesters were usually a chatty bunch while they ate meals, but this one was different. They started out going over the plan a few times, but when that was done they fell into an awkward silence, like the things that hadn’t been said were weighing down on them. 

  “This is exactly why you two have to tell me what happened,” Dean pointed out after a while. “It’s making everything difficult.”

  “Ah, so that’s what you were fighting about. Trust me Dean if we tell you, it would tear us apart much more efficiently,” Katie answered with a sad look. “When you went to Hell, I lost both of you, and I don’t plan on that happening again,” she added softly after a few moments, looking down at her food.  

  Deans mind was racing. _What could possibly be so bad that Katie’s afraid to lose Sam? And possibly him?_ “No matter what happened, I won’t leave. I promise,” Dean contested while he looked at her. She looked up and nodded, but didn’t say anything else.

  Katie wanted to be anywhere else but there at the moment. Once Dean found out about what Sam had done, she knew things would never be the same. If she was honest with herself, things were already very different. It wasn’t as easy to be around them as it once had been. Things with Sam were strained for obvious reasons, but Dean, Dean was different. She had tried a few times before they left Bobby’s to ask about Hell, but he wasn’t talking. He used to be able to tell her anything, and she understood why he couldn’t with this, but it was still hanging above them. And now that Dean knew she had kept some secrets too, the cloud was going to get heavier until the truth came out. 

  Katie missed how it used to be. Simple as that. It sucked that the easiest she had felt was when she had been around Cas. She thought back to that morning, it had just been so uncomplicated with him. Although it still bothered her that she couldn’t explain what it was that connected them. It was similar to how she felt about her brothers; there was loyalty, security, etc., but it was more than that. A tugging at her very being when he was near. She could feel when he was close by now before he spoke or appeared, and it didn’t scare her one bit, but actually comforted her. She was pulled from her thoughts as someone nudged her, “You coming?” Sam asked.

  Dean and Sam were both standing, watching her. “Oh, yeah. Sorry,” she mumbled, shaking her head a bit as she slid out of the booth. How long had she been like that?

  After dropping Sam back off at the motel, with strict orders to be ready with any medical supplies they might need, Dean and Katie drove to the third location. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” Katie asked Dean as they pulled up into the alley. 

  “Yeah, it does,” he answered, nodding. And it did. The exhilaration of being on a hunt, of going after the monsters that prey on the innocent, it was intoxicating. It felt good, normal. This was who they truly were, not some weapons for God or Hell’s chew toys, but hunters. 

  He turned to Katie, and he grinned, noticing how she was grinning herself. _So she felt it too. Good_. They sat there for an hour of content silence before they saw something move in the shadows across the street. 

  Dean slowly opened the door, quietly as he could. Katie followed suit. They came together at the front of the car and slowly pulled their guns out, taking care not to make any sudden movements. Dean saw it move again, and he turned and looked at Katie, who nodded. _Here we go_.

  They were making their way along the middle of the alley they had chosen, keeping to the shadows created by the surrounding buildings, when they saw it. _He was huge. Whoever had turned him must have chosen him for his size_. Dean raised his gun quickly, aiming at its heart, and that’s when it all went to shit. 

  A second wolf came at them from the side, throwing Katie back into the brick wall of the alley, and pouncing on Dean. _What the fuck? Shit shit shit._ As it started to tear into him with razor sharp claws, Dean’s thoughts went fuzzy. He vaguely heard Katie screaming something that might’ve been his name, but he couldn’t tell. And then as quickly as they had come, the claws were out of him. 

  A sudden jolt of realization brought his thoughts back into focus, his little sister was taking on two ridiculously large werewolves at the moment. _Push through the pain Dean_. As this thought cleared his vision, he saw the werewolf that had been working on him on the ground next to him, no longer in werewolf form. Blood trickled from the now-human’s mouth. He heard a roar of anger as clear as day in the next moment, and he hoped to God that she would be able to take this one down too. Dean turned his head, and saw Katie pull up her gun, and take aim as the beast ran at her.

  Bam. But the beast kept going towards her. _Shit. She hadn’t hit it’s heart, and she won’t have time now to aim again_. And it was angry, the growls it made as it ran at her made Dean scared for her life. As she pulled the gun back up, it overtook her. He tried to call out her name, but he couldn’t get out more than a garbled murmur. Then he heard another gun shot, and there was silence. 

. . . 

_Holy shit._ Two werewolves. Taking down one would’ve been hard enough with her and Dean working together, but two, solo? The thought was ridiculous. _Dean_. She pushed the dead werewolf off of her and made her way over to him. 

  It was bad, worse than she had thought. His chest was in ribbons, and she couldn’t help but notice how similar he had looked a few months ago, which only helped in making her want to vomit. She took her jacket off and pressed it to his wounds, in the hope that it might help with the bleeding. Putting his arm over her shoulders, she carefully propped him against herself. She half-dragged him into the passenger seat of the Impala, knowing she had to get him to the motel before he bled out. 

  About halfway back, the adrenaline started to wear off. The pain hit her all at once, and she struggled to keep her eyes from clenching shut while she drove. She calmed herself from the shock her body had just taken, and took stock on what her injuries were. 

  She definitely had at least three bruised ribs, with a possible break in one, but she wasn’t sure whether that was from her collision with the wall or the wolf landing on top of her. Her entire back was full of what felt like road rash from being thrown into the brick wall and sliding down it, and she had deep gashes along her stomach and back from where the werewolf had dug into her as they struggled. As she looked down at her left arm, she realized her wrist was twisted in a disgusting direction, making bile rise in her throat again. She swallowed it down. Her injuries were nothing compared to Dean’s, and it was now her job to keep him alive. 

  Katie realized how out of focus everything was as she kept driving, and she put a hand to her head, found blood, and decided it was very likely she had a concussion. It was also then that she realized how hard it was to breathe. _Shit._ She pushed the thought from her mind; she had to focus on getting them to Sam, who would be ready for them. 

. . .

  Sam needed to clear his head. It was only a little after eight; he didn’t expect Katie and Dean to be back for a few hours now. As he put on his shoes, he couldn’t help but think about what Ruby had said to him earlier that day. _There is a group of demons nearby_. Close enough that if he slipped out he’d have time to come back, but far enough that they didn’t accidentally stumble across them themselves. It was then that Katie burst through the door. 

  “Sam-, Dean-, car,” was all she managed to get out before she collapsed on the floor, wheezing too-shallow breaths. _Holy shit. What had happened_? She was covered in blood, her wrist bent in an almost obscene angle, and had now completely passed out. And _Dean_.

  As Sam rushed out of the room, he found Dean in the passenger seat, bleeding profusely, passed out from either pain, loss of blood, or a combination of both. He picked him up and brought him inside. 

. . .

  Somehow Sam had managed to stop the bleeding, but as soon as he did, he realized that Katie’s breathing had become even more shallow, which he hadn’t thought had been possible. He kneeled down next to where she had fallen and pulled her shirt up. _Fuck_. There was in incredible bruise that went up all along her ribs, indicating that she was bleeding internally. By the sound of her breaths her lung had most likely collapsed. _Not enough time._ He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and as soon as he pushed the nine he realized what he should’ve done from the beginning. “Cas,” he shouted, “I think they’re dying. Please hurry. She doesn’t have much time.”

  He heard the now-familiar ruffling noise as Castiel appeared beside Dean. “What happened?” he asked, without his usual calmness. 

  “I- I don’t know,” Sam stammered, as he watched the angel’s hand light up on Dean’s ruined chest. 

  Dean sat straight up, eyes wide as if he were still back in the alley. “Katie,” he yelled, then realizing where he was, he looked down to where Sam and Katie were. 

  Castiel hurried to her side, Sam moving out of his way. “You were not with them?” the angel asked Sam. He shook his head, feeling more than a little guilty. 

  “She- she took them both down,” Dean rambled, struggling to get down beside her. 

  “What?” Sam asked, eyes wide. Even Castiel had a look of bewilderment.

  “There were two, they worked together, I’ve never seen anything like it,” Dean answered, struggling to understand what had happened. Castiel put his hand over Katie’s head and with a flash of white light, she sat up as well. 

  “Dean. I have to get Dean back to the...” her voice trailed off as she realized where she was. “Oh, thank God,” she said as she put her head on Castiel’s chest. 


	7. I Should Go Now Quietly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some secrets are revealed. ;)

  “Can someone please explain what happened?” Sam asked a little while later, his curiosity getting the best of him. 

  “It was routine. We got into position as soon as we saw the bastard. Dean was about to take the bastard down, when we got attacked from the side. It knocked me away and decided to go after Dean. When I got back on my feet I threw a rock at it so I could shoot without hitting him. Luckily I got that one on the first try. The second one ran at me then. It sounded so- angry, as if I had killed a family member or something. I shot and missed, and I knew I wasn’t going to have time to aim again so I let it pounce on me. I managed to get the gun right under it’s heart, and that was that,” Katie answered, trying not to let how badass she felt shine through.

  “You let it attack you?” Dean almost growled at her. She nodded.

  “Dean I had to get you out of there fast, there wasn’t any other way without wasting too much time. I couldn’t just let you die,” Katie answered fiercely, feeling anger rise in her.

  “By killing yourself?” Dean shot back. “You do realize if Cas didn’t make it back here you wouldn’t have made it right? Your lung collapsed, that’s not something to joke about.”

  “Well your chest was shredded Dean, you looked like the hellhounds had just finished with you again. I was not going to watch while you bled out on some shit back alley, so I took some risks. And yeah, they might’ve killed me, but you’re worth it. I would make the same damn decision if put in that situation again,” Katie shouted, with a fire in her eyes that almost frightened him.

  “So I would’ve had to live with the guilt of being the reason my little sister died?” Dean argued, the anger in him rising as well.

  “First of all, it would’ve been the werewolves’ fault, and second of all it’s what we had to do when you died, at least you would’ve known I wasn’t rotting in Hell because you failed me,” she contended, quieting by the end. Dean’s face softened a bit, but this most definitely _wasn’t_ over. 

  “Sorry to interrupt your pissing match, but I think you two are missing a big piece here,” Sam interrupted, tired of hearing them. He was still shaky from almost having both of them die in front of him. 

  “And what would that be?” Dean asked with as much attitude as he could muster.

  It was Castiel who answered him. “You say that the werewolves were working as a unit, but Katie told me last night that when they change, they lose all ability to comprehend anything besides extremely basic instincts. You also say you’ve never seen two working together in such a fashion. There is something bigger going on here, and the few things that I can think of that could do this are not anything we want happening,” he explained with a grim look on his face. 

  “It’s a seal isn’t it?” Katie inquired. She couldn’t explain how she had known it, but there was something at the edge of her consciousness that was saying it, and to be honest it sounded like Castiel. 

  The angel looked a little surprised, “Yes, I believe it is. And it is definitely not one that we want to be broken.” Katie’s heart sank at that. She had never heard Cas have any kind of negative thoughts towards their abilities. Whatever this thing was, she knew to be afraid of it, as she felt- which _seriously, what the fuck is that-_ the uncertainty coming from Cas. 

  “You don’t think we could handle whatever this thing is, do you?” she asked him. He stared at her intently, “No, I am not sure,” he confessed. “It is extremely powerful.” 

  “Are you going to tell us what it is?” Dean asked, growing impatient. 

  “Her name is Eve. She is the mother of all monsters, literally,” Castiel stated. “I must go speak with my brothers and see if they have heard anything about that seal. I’ll be in touch. Also, I would prefer it if no one dies, or tries to, while I am gone,” he said eying Katie. 

  She felt a surge of warmth come from him, and she blushed a bit as she realized that he had been _worried_ about her. _So… apparently she could feel bits of what he was feeling? And hear some of his thoughts? Is this connection getting stronger?_ She was honestly too tired to think about it anymore. 

  “We’ll try not to,” she agreed, truly meaning it. She wasn’t in the mood to get tackled by a werewolf or thrown into a wall anytime in the near future, although knowing their luck it would happen much sooner than she cared to know. 

  The angel nodded. “I will not be long,” Castiel promised, and with that, was gone.

. . . 

  “Look Dean,” Katie started after a few minutes, turning back towards her brother, “I’m sorry. I was just doing what had to be done. You would’ve done exactly the same thing and we both know it, so please don’t pull the little sister crap with me.”

  Dean sighed. “I know. Just, please- try to be more careful,” he relinquished after a moment. She nodded her assent. 

  “Why don’t you both get some sleep, I’ll keep watch for the night,” Sam added, breaking the silence. 

  “That would be great, you’d think angel healing would leave you feeling shiny and new, but it’s actually draining,” Dean answered, realizing just how tired he really was. Katie yawned in agreement. 

  “Guess I have to sleep in one of these after all,” she commented, looking down at the bed closest to her and sighing. “Oh well,” she added climbing under the covers and quickly closing her eyes. 

  “Katie,” Dean hesitated, “Thanks.” While he was pissed that she had pretty much killed herself, he couldn’t stay completely angry with her about it. She would’ve died for  him, and if that wasn’t something that deserved gratitude, he wasn’t sure what did. 

  “You’re welcome Dean,” she mumbled as she fell asleep. 

  Cas had cleaned the bedding that Dean had bled all over, and as he climbed into the bed, he silently thanked the angel. Almost as soon as his head hit the pillow Dean lost consciousness, another thing he was grateful for. 

  Sam looked at his watch. Even after all that had happened tonight, it was still only ten. _Two hours before Ruby wanted to meet him_. He had to stop thinking about it, he decided. Maybe then it would go away and he could pretend that bitch had never shown up. 

  Sam honestly had never wanted any of this to happen. He hadn’t trusted Ruby from the beginning, and he still didn’t, but she had somehow slithered in anyway. Maybe it was the demon blood in him. Maybe he was just a little too trusting. Or maybe he had made an awful mistake when Dean died. But it seemed a little too late now, the allure of what they had done together was too strong. 

  Sam shook his head, trying to force himself to think of something else. When that didn’t work, he decided he needed a distraction. He opened up his laptop and started searching for anything he could find on Eve, the apparent mother of the monsters. There wasn’t anything on her, but there was a great deal on the Eve from the bible. Sam wondered whether there was any connection between the two, but couldn’t find any. 

  The next time he looked at his watch it was eleven thirty. _Shit_. He realized he shouldn’t have looked. Every fiber of his being itched to sneak out of the motel room and get in the Impala. Sam tried to think of what would happen if Dean and Katie found out, but it didn’t matter. He was past the point of rationalizing with himself, the urge had overpowered him as soon as Ruby had shown up, he just hadn’t fully realized it until this moment. Sam stood, pulled his jacket on, grabbed the car keys, and even though he hated himself for it, opened the door and disappeared into the dark night. 

. . .

  Dean woke with a start. _There was someone, or something, in the room._ He pulled his gun out from underneath his pillow as sneakily as he could and wondered where the hell Sam was. Knowing he probably didn’t have much time to act, he whipped around, gun drawn, and aimed at the figure. He wasn’t surprised when he heard Katie doing the same in her bed behind him. 

  “Wait- I think it’s Cas,” Katie whispered, feeling that now familiar tug at her consciousness. 

  “Hello,” a familiar voice said, and they both lowered their weapons. 

  “Jesus Cas, you mind not doing that again?” Dean said, shifting himself to turn the lamp in between the two beds on. _And how the hell had Katie known it was him_? 

  “Sorry,” was all he replied. There was a look on his face that neither of them liked, one that said he didn’t have very good news. With the additional fact that he had ignored Dean’s blaspheme, this was not looking good. 

  “What’s wrong?” Katie asked, after the angel hadn’t gone on, seemingly lost in his thoughts.   

  Castiel looked over at her, knowing that he was about to make what had already been a very tiring day much worse. He sighed. “Well, there are three things, each of which is more distressing than the last,” he started as he sat on the edge of her bed. The angel looked from Dean to Katie, knowing they weren’t going to like this. “No one will tell me if Eve has escaped. I- I think there might be something going on in Heaven. It all seems a bit mysterious,” Cas stated, looking down at the floor. “I don’t like this feeling. I think you call it doubt. I was not made to ever feel it,” he added a moment later, sounding so incredibly sad Katie wanted to reach out to him, but she stayed where she was. 

  “Yeah, doubt is never fun, especially when it’s your family,” she agreed instead, understanding exactly what the angel was feeling. She had doubted Sam when Dean died, even though she tried not to, and he had proved her right, which to be honest, was the worst part.

  Dean and Castiel both looked at her, Dean with a look of irritation and Cas with one of his intense looks that she hadn’t quite figured out yet. Dean clearly wanted to know what had happened, but she had a nagging feeling Cas already did know. The thought relieved her in a way that she didn’t fully understand.

  The tension coming from Dean created an awkward silence, one that wasn’t broken until Katie spoke up again, “So, what else?” she asked Castiel. 

  His face immediately fell again, and Katie was almost sorry she had asked. “I believe that Eve was released, has been out for a while now, even if my brothers aren’t talking about it. I think that we are losing seals at an impossible rate, and Heaven isn’t putting in everything it could be,” he answered, never looking up from the floor. Katie gasped. 

  “You think they’re letting this happen?” Dean asked, getting angrier by the minute. He knew angels were dicks, but they were going to _let_ the Apocalypse happen?    

  “I don’t know anymore Dean,” the angel answered, sounding deflated, as if doubting Heaven was taking a physical toll on him. 

  “What is Eve going to do?” Katie asked, trying to get the topic off of his family. 

  “As far as I can tell right now, she has done nothing. Her mere presence on Earth is making a lot of the supernatural beings become more active and act- strangely. I expect, when the time comes, we will have to kill her,” Castiel remarked, finally looking back up at them. 

  “Sounds like it’ll be a real joy,” Dean muttered, still visibly angry. He looked around the room and realized Sam wasn’t there. “Where the hell is Sam?” he asked the angel.

  “Katie, I think it is time you tell Dean what happened when he died,” Cas suggested, turning to her. _So he did know. But what did that have to do with Sam right now_? She pushed the thought from her mind, clearly Castiel had a reason, and she’d find out soon enough.  

  “Alright,” she started, feeling nervous. She already knew Dean was going to flip when he heard. It was not going to be pretty, but she hoped she might be able to calm him down. 

  “When we got to Bobby’s, he told me that I wasn’t allowed to see you, and that I should leave,” the memories hurt as they rushed to surface, almost like it was happening again in her mind, but she pushed through.

  “I was weak at the time, I couldn’t function. My only thoughts were of how I had failed you, and that was crippling. I had hoped that Sam would calm down if I stayed away from him for a little while, so I locked myself in the guest room. I saw him packing your body into the Impala on the third day, and decided that I wanted to be there for you even if Sammy didn’t want me. When I got outside he started screaming again for me to get the hell away, I didn’t understand why. All I wanted was to mourn with him, we both deserved to have someone there for us, but he wouldn’t have me,” she looked at the floor, wiping a few stray tears that had appeared from her face.   

  “I didn’t give up though. Sam eventually just got into the Impala and drove away. Bobby offered to bring me, but I knew that it would only cause problems for him too, so I stayed behind. When they got back that night, Sam said he was leaving and taking the Impala with him. He emptied my stuff out of the back, and just left. I can’t describe how that felt, he was just gone. And you were gone. And I was alone. It all happened so fast I just-,” she paused, took a deep breath and continued, “I decided then that I wasn’t going to leave him alone, no matter what he wanted. So I took one of Bobby’s cars and tracked him for two weeks. It appeared at first that he knew I was tailing him, but about midway through the second week he became more relaxed. It was then that I-” Katie stopped for a moment, looking over at Castiel, who nodded. She felt a wave of reassurance coming from him, and although it still felt odd, it calmed her enough to continue. 

  “I decided I would confront him. He appeared to be doing better, but then I realized that there was a second person with him. Some curly haired brunette that I’d never seen before,” she reflected, scoffing at the memory of her. 

  It was here that Dean interrupted. “There was a girl like that with him when Bobby and I caught up to him,” he interjected, confused by the look of anger that erupted on Katie’s face. While it was true that they all had a bit of a temper, he had never seen the look of pure rage that was coming from her eyes, it made him uneasy, not entirely wanting her to finish her story. 

  “Of course there was,” Katie spat through gritted teeth. Castiel put a hand to her arm in an attempt to ease her a bit, but there wasn’t much he could do. She took a deep, shaky breath, and started again.

  “There was something about her I didn’t like. She was coming and going freely and often. The bitch had also appeared to take my place, so I guess there was some jealousy as well. Anyway, I barged into their room one night and found her straddling him, not exactly what I had hoped to see, but whatever. Before Sam could say a word I asked who the hell she was. She turned to me and flashed her black eyes,” Dean noticed that as she said it, Katie appeared dazed, caught in her memories, except for the fists that were clenched at her side. 

  “I pulled my gun out and told her to get the hell away from my brother. Turns out it was Ruby. And Sam knew exactly who it was. I noticed him then, there was something _different_ about him. He appeared almost- powerful. She had been teaching him how to use his powers. I don’t know how I knew it, I just did. I asked him what the fuck he was doing, I just couldn’t understand how he could do this to me, and to you,” she looked up at Dean, “After everything you had sacrificed, I couldn’t understand how he could do it. I got so angry at him. I screamed. I told him how angry you would be. That’s what got to Sam, I mentioned you and he lost it. He ended up hitting me. I didn’t even bother fighting back. Feeling the physical pain had been easier than the betrayal, easier than knowing he chose a demon’s company over mine, easier than understanding and accepting I was now alone.” This time she let the tears roll down her face. 

  She would never forget how painful it had been, how even months later she had been unable to function. She realized that Cas’s hand was still on her arm, warm and reassuring. She clung to that warmth.

  The look of shock on Dean’s face quickly melted to one of rage that matched Katie’s previous one. “How badly did he hurt you?” Dean asked, seething.

  She was surprised that that was the first thing he asked. She looked up, “Nothing I couldn’t handle. My face was a little busted up and I might have had a concussion, but it wasn’t too bad,” she answered. 

  Picturing Sam punching her in the face repeatedly made something rise in the back of Dean’s throat. While the three of them usually took their anger out with their fists, it was normally one or two punches and that was it. But if she had gotten a concussion?- god he couldn’t think of it. That was when it all clicked.

  “What the hell does that have to do with what’s happening now?” he growled at Castiel. 

  For once, the angel didn’t tell Dean to watch his tone. He understood the anger, could feel it come off of Dean like waves coming to shore. He finally let go of Katie and turned to him. “Sam is headed down a dangerous path. He tried very hard not to give into temptation, but I’m afraid she got to him this morning. We are not sure where this path may lead, but I assure you if the two of you are unable to stop him, I will have to,” Cas revealed, with a look that said he hoped he didn’t have to, but that he would if the time came. 

  Their mirrored expressions of wide-eyed fear and shock made him feel a strange emotion. It was similar to what he felt when he thought about his doubt. _Sadness_. _That was it_. He was sad that he might have to hurt them more than they already did. Also, when Heaven spoke of Sam, they made him out to be an abomination. A dick, as Dean would say, and while it appeared that he had made some mistakes, he wasn’t an entirely bad person, just tainted. 

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Dean asked him, challenging the angel to say what they all knew he had meant.

  Castiel sighed. “Heaven will have me kill him,” he confided, hoping they understood that he didn’t really want to. Katie could feel the angel’s reluctance at the edge of her mind, but it didn’t comfort her anguish. _How could Sam give in, especially after everything had seemed to be getting better_? 

  Castiel was surprised that neither Katie nor Dean contested the fact that he would kill Sam. Maybe they assumed they could fix him. Or maybe they knew they couldn’t  fight what Heaven wanted. Either way, he decided he didn’t like that they uncharacteristically rolled over and accepted it. 

  It was Katie’s voice, deadly quiet and incredibly menacing, that broke the angel’s train of thought. “So Sam’s with _her_?” she asked, already knowing the answer. 

  Cas looked up at her and was surprised by what he saw. There were still a few stray tears on her face, but they seemed out of place compared to the rage that darkened all of her features. It bothered him to see her like that, but he didn’t let his face betray him, and simply nodded in reply. 

  “Where are they?” Dean asked, clearly in a rage of his own, but that seemed to be like second nature to him anyway, so it didn’t bother Castiel. 

  “An abandoned warehouse about twenty miles from here. I’ll bring you there. Then I must take my leave though. I have much to figure out still,” the angel answered, standing up. 

  Katie stood as well, walked over purposefully to the table and grabbed her knife, which she hid along with her gun. 

  “You know those weapons won’t actually do anything to her right?” Dean asked tentatively, hoping Katie hadn’t lost her shit, not that he could blame her, he wasn’t feeling entirely sane himself at the moment. 

  “Of course, but that doesn’t mean it won’t make me feel better Dean,” she shot back, not looking back at him as she found her jacket and pulled it on. Dean looked at Cas, who only stared back in return. 

  “Welp, this oughta be fun,” Dean mumbled darkly to no one in particular. 

  Katie snorted and turned around. “I tried to tell you that you didn’t want to know what happened. Hell, I wish I didn’t know. But we do, and now we have to stop our seriously stupid fucking brother before the angels decide to smite him. And on top of that, this bitch is back and she’s going to do everything she can to go against us. Oh- I swear to God if she ever leaves that knife lying around I’ll kill her,” she ranted. 

  Dean’s heart sank when he thought about how this must be for her. He honestly couldn’t imagine it. The fury in him rose. _How the fuck could Sammy do this again, with what happened last time?_ No matter what she said, he must’ve beat her good. He and Sammy would _definitely_ have to talk about that later. 

  “Can we get going now?” Katie asked Castiel, a lot harsher than she normally spoke to him. 

  He wasn’t sure what to make of it, but he understood that it was not easy for her. There was a great mixture of pain, betrayal, and anger coming from her, and the angel could feel it deep in his own grace. It was strange feeling so many different things, he wasn’t quite sure how humans could handle so many at once. He wished he could help, but he had no idea what to do, so he simply did nothing. 

  Castiel also wondered why he was able to feel her emotions so strongly. While it was true that they shared a bond, he also had one with Dean, and the background noise coming from him was much less intense. He decided, after a moment’s hesitation, to block the bonds that tied them together with grace, which left him much more comfortable and clear headed.  

  Castiel turned to Dean. “Ready?” he asked, pretending that he hadn’t heard her. If it made her angry, she didn’t mention it. The angel thanked his Father for small mercies. Dean nodded, and stepped forward. 

  “This may feel a little- unpleasant,” Cas warned them, noting that the only time he’d transported either of them they were either not tethered to a body, or unconscious. He then lifted two long fingers to each of their foreheads, and they disappeared from the hotel room.


	8. Every Time You Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so after the intensity of last chapter, it kind of seems like Sam is an asshole. He's not. Some of the things he thinks are heartbreaking in this chapter, and all of them are about himself. So if you're a Sam fan and you felt like the last chapter was rough... this one is going to be too, but there will be a light at the end of the dark Sam tunnel, promise. And as always, thank you for reading <3

  They reappeared, a little disoriented, in an old factory outside of town. Castiel left as soon as they got there, glad to be getting away from the emotions that he didn’t understand and no longer wanted to feel. Especially because they were now only coming from himself. 

  “I don’t think he likes it when you’re mad,” Dean whispered to Katie, who had trouble stifling a bitter laugh. 

  “Smart man,” she whispered back, “If only our dear brother could be that smart.” Dean nodded in response. He didn’t like the dark tone her voice had taken though, it made him realize that they were almost kinda _hunting_ their brother, as if he were a monster himself. 

  Katie took lead, slowly venturing deeper into the factory. Luckily, it had a basic layout. There were two straight hallways, with a few offices along them, that eventually emptied out into a larger work area. 

  There were a couple bodies that they stumbled across as they went, and even before Dean checked for a pulse he knew they were dead. He sighed to himself and continued to where Katie had already gone ahead, uncharacteristically ignoring everything else but what was sure to be in the room at the end. 

  They were out of the hallway quickly, and almost immediately heard voices. Sticking to the far wall, they came to a large piece of old machinery, where they heard the distinct voice of their brother. Each slowly crept along it, until they found a gap that allowed them to see to the other side, wary of what they would find. 

  Sam had his back to them, intent on the prey he had inside of a devil’s trap. From what they could see of the man, he was in his mid- to late- 20’s, with dark hair, but it was apparent that he was not himself tonight. 

  “Of course, the big tough Sam Winchester with his demon whore. You think you’re some kind of hero kid, but the truth is, you’re no better than me,” the man spat at him, not even trying to conceal his hatred. 

  Sam laughed, Dean unconsciously shivering where he stood. “I happen to be _much_ better than you, and I’ll send you to hell quite easily to prove that. But not yet. Where is she?” he asked, getting right up in the demon’s face. _Where is who?_  

  The demon laughed in response. “Not telling,” he answered, as mockingly as possible, smirking up at Sam. 

  He waited a moment. “Fine, don’t. I’ll just practice on you then,” Sam said, straightening in front of him. He put a hand out in between himself and the demon. Katie had to hold back a gasp as the telltale black smoke started to pour from the man’s mouth. The demon tried to hold on, grasping at his neck as he coughed and choked. As the rest of the smoke disappeared with a reddish hole in the floor, Katie could’ve sworn she heard the demon laughing. 

. . .

  “Ruby! This one’s still alive,” Sam said, smiling over at her. That was enough for Katie to jump out of their hiding place, blood boiling with hatred. 

  “That’s a neat trick you got there Sammy,” Dean said as he too stepped out from behind the giant machine. “Oh and how nice to see you again, bitch,” he added, glaring at Ruby. He looked at Katie through his peripheral, who was standing rigid next to him, all eyes on the demon standing next to their brother. 

  “I- I can explain,” Sam said, looking desperately at Dean. Before he could respond though, he felt Katie rush past him. _Shit. This was not going to be good_. 

  The next few moments went by so quickly, Dean wasn’t sure if he’d imagined what happened or not. Katie slammed a rather surprised Ruby into the wall and proceeded to smash her fist into her face as many times as possible. When the shock wore off, the demon used her inhuman strength to throw Katie across the room, straight her into the machine they’d just been hiding behind. When she didn’t get up, Ruby began to stalk towards her with an almost amused look on her face, which is where Dean intercepted her. 

  “Don’t you dare touch her, demon bitch,” he snarled, getting right up in her face. He didn’t give a fuck how strong she was, he was angry, and raring to fight. They each got one punch off before Sam snapped out of it and got in between them. He pulled Dean out of the way, back towards Katie. 

  “Dean, stop.” 

  “Ruby get him to the hospital, he’s hurt,” Sam said, nodding towards the man still slumped in the chair. He was so fucked at this point, and he knew it, best to get her out of sight before Dean spontaneously combusted with rage. With one last glare at Dean, the demon picked up the man easily and walked out.

  “I can-” Sam started, but he was quickly cut off by Dean. 

  “Don’t even speak,” he growled, pulling himself roughly from Sam’s grasp. He hurried over to where Katie was laying and picked her up. There was a small gash where her head had hit the machine, but otherwise she seemed to be alright, besides the unconsciousness. Dean carried her past Sam and, without a word, started out towards the car. Sam silently followed behind, making sure to leave some space between them. 

  When he got to the Impala, Katie was slumped in the passenger seat, giving Sam the not-so-subtle hint that he should steer clear of Dean for the time being. He climbed into the back, which did _not_ have enough room for his long legs, and stayed quiet. He was grateful for the silence though, because he knew when Dean finally did start speaking, it was not going to be pretty, especially after what had happened between Katie and Ruby. 

  He had never seen his sister lose control like that before, not ever. She went after a demon with her bare hands, which is probably the worst idea he’s ever heard of. And he obviously knew it was his fault that she’d lost it. He shouldn’t have been there in the first place. 

  His stomach dropped as he realized that maybe she _wouldn’t_ forgive him this time. And if she didn’t, maybe Dean wouldn’t either, because everybody knows that nobody can hold a grudge like Dean. His insides got shaky at the thought of the two of them driving away in the Impala without him. And his heart sank down with his stomach when he realized that’s how Katie must’ve felt when he had left her at Bobby’s. _Wow_ , he was even more of an asshole than he’d thought, which was saying something. 

. . .

  The slam of the driver’s side door quickly snapped Sam from his thoughts. He watched as Dean walked around the front of the car and got Katie out. Her head lolled back as he carried her into the motel room, and Sam couldn’t help but feel like crap about that too as he got out of the Impala and shut his door behind him. He stopped just outside the motel room and sighed heavily- _this wasn’t going to be fun_. 

  Even knowing that, Sam hadn’t expected the punch to his face as soon as he walked through the door. He stumbled back, trying to right himself. “Feel better?” he asked, looking up into Dean’s fury-blazed face. He knew the answer was no even before the fist came into view again. He didn’t fight it, even as the blows increased in fury and he fell backwards. _Weird_ , it was exactly how Katie had reacted all those months before. He couldn’t help but wonder why she hadn’t done anything, Sam knew why he wasn’t- he deserved it- but why hadn’t she stopped him? 

  Finally, Dean took a step back. He was breathing heavily and his knuckles hurt. He looked down at Sam and immediately felt a little of his anger ebb away. He had gone a bit too far, that was obvious, and yet he couldn’t quite bring himself to be completely bothered. He wondered if this is what his sister’s face had looked like, but he pushed that traitorous thought from his mind before it made him attack Sam again. 

  “No, I don’t feel better,” Dean growled down at him. He was as far from better as he could be. “I can’t believe you. Do you see what you’ve become Sam? You promised you wouldn’t. Jesus Christ, do you even know how far you’ve gone off the deep end?” Dean snapped, swallowing the urge to hit him again.

  “Dean- I, I save people. More than we ever could. Most of them live after I get the demon out,” Sam said in a soft voice. “I made use of what was thrown on me,” he added, not daring to look at Dean. 

  “Fuck that Sam, it’s bullshit and you know it. If it’s a good thing, then why did Castiel tell us that he’d have to kill you if we couldn’t stop you? Why did it feel like I was hunting you tonight? When I saw you do that-.” Dean paused for a second, then slowly looked up at Sam, “I knew that I _should_ be hunting you,” he finished in a deadly quiet tone.   

  Sam looked up and held Dean’s glare for the first time that night. “I don’t understand why we shouldn’t use this to our advantage. So yeah, there’s demon blood in me-” 

  “There’s what?” Dean growled in such a tone that Sam shivered involuntarily.

  “That’s what Azazel did over my crib. He put demon blood in me,” Sam answered blandly, albeit a little shakily.

  “What part of this doesn’t seem wrong to you Sam? You think using demon blood powers is a good thing? What the fuck are you thinking?” Dean screamed at him. _Why couldn’t he see how bad this was? There was no way in hell anything like that should ever be used, it was- well it was tainted. No matter what good might come from it now, it wouldn’t end well, it was inherently evil. But why couldn’t Sam see that?_  

  “I don’t know Dean, I- don’t know,” Sam said quietly, face turned back down towards the floor. “I just thought maybe I could take the bad in me and make it good,” he added after a moment. 

  Dean really wanted to believe it. He did. And maybe that was part of it, but there was something about the way Sam had acted at the factory that didn’t quite sit well with him, besides the obvious. He couldn’t put his finger on it though, no matter how hard he tried. 

  “Either stop, or leave,” Dean said quietly after a few minutes of silence. “I’ll help you anyway that I can, but if you don’t want to stop, then I won’t have you around. And if you _ever_ do _anything_ like that to her again, I swear to God-,” he stopped himself, no use going down that road, he had just clearly demonstrated what would happen. 

  He turned away before Sam had a chance to answer and walked over to the bed Katie was sprawled out in. “She should probably have woken up by now,” Dean muttered to himself.

  “Hey Cas,” Dean started, looking up towards the ceiling, “I know you just left and all, but would you mind doing a quick round of damage control down here?” he asked, surprising Sam with how normal he sounded. 

  There was the sound of wings behind him. “What happened?” Castiel asked, looking at Sam.

  “Well, I happened to him. And Katie here decided to go after Ruby with nothing but her fists. Needless to say, Ruby won. Although, she did manage to get a couple of damn good shots off,” Dean answered, turning to look at the angel. 

  “Apparently you did too,” Cas mused as he put two fingers to Sam’s forehead, healing his face instantly. 

  Dean grimaced. “I guess I did. In one way at least,” he replied, turning back towards the bed. Castiel followed, placing two fingertips on Katie as well. 

  “I thought I told you to try not to get killed any time soon,” the angel chided as she opened her light blue eyes. 

  “Yeah well, I tried. But that bitch gets to me like no other,” she mumbled as she sat up. She winced a bit. “Cas, I think you forgot to heal my hand,” she added, looking down at the bruised knuckles. 

  “No, I did that on purpose. Maybe it will teach you not to do stupid, reckless things,” he explained, catching her gaze and holding it. He didn’t like the number of times he’d seen her unconscious in the short month he’d known her. It- _bothered_ him.

  “Look I’m sorry, I know it was dumb, but can you please heal my hand, I’m going to need it,” she answered, staring right back at him. Katie wished she could understand what the angel’s intense stare meant, but at this moment, she was too exhausted to try. She did, however, feel the worry that was coming off of Castiel, and if she had been able to smile at the moment, she would’ve. 

  After a moment, the angel relented. “Fine,” he acquiesced, returning his fingers to her forehead, his gaze never faltering. 

  “Thank you Castiel,” Katie added quietly, and she was fairly sure she saw the faint shadow of a smile on his face as he nodded. 

  The angel stepped back then, taking in all three of the Winchesters. “I’ll need you to be available. Continue hunting, but be prepared to leave on a moment’s notice,” he instructed in a commanding voice. 

  “What will we have to do?” Dean asked, not liking to have to go into anything blind. 

  “It will depend on the circumstances. Essentially it will be to prevent the breaking of seals, so probably fighting demons or witches. I’ll be as helpful as possible, but you may have to do some of it on your own. I’ll know more later,” he answered, hoping the last bit would prevent Dean from asking anything else. 

  Surprisingly, it was not Dean that asked the next question. “Will I be allowed to help?” Sam asked from where he still was on the floor. At this, Dean visibly held back a grunt.

  Castiel turned and looked directly at him for the first time that night. “That is up to you Sam,” the angel replied, not unkindly. He noticed that there was an unmistakable aura around the young man, that of a demon. It was odd that it still held on to him though, and it made Castiel turn away quickly. Sam nodded in return.

  “I will see you soon, when I have more information,” Castiel concluded, and with one last glance around the room, he was gone. 

. . .

  “Can we leave this shitty town now?” Katie asked after what seemed like an hour, but was more than likely only a few minutes. She wanted to get away from these beds, away from dead werewolves, and mostly away from what had happened. She also hoped that Sam wasn’t stupid enough to try to talk to her, because that was more inadvisable than punching a demon in the face at the moment. 

  “Yeah, we can leave,” Dean agreed, “We’ll go back to Bobby’s until we figure this out.” He couldn’t blame her for wanting to leave, hell he was itching to get out of there too. And Sam clearly wasn’t calling any shots right now, so if they wanted to go, that’s what was happening.

  Katie nodded her agreement, and quickly got her stuff together. They were all in the car ten minutes later in their normal seats, much to Sam’s surprise. Dean didn’t look over at him, and Katie promptly fell asleep in the backseat, which was probably the best he was going to get, so he sucked it up and looked out the window.


	9. Something Is Scratching It's Way Out, Something You Want to Forget About

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Foreshadowing and plot twists. Literally everywhere. Enjoy <3

  It had been four days since they’d gotten to Bobby’s, but Dean and Katie still weren’t talking to Sam. It was starting to drive him up the wall. It would be one thing if it was just that, but they wouldn’t even look at him, or acknowledge that he existed. And every time Bobby tried to get them to Katie would promptly get up and leave the room, and Dean would mumble about how he couldn’t. It was maddening. Most of the time he just stayed up in his room, reading up on the Apocalypse, just in case they ever decided he might be useful again. Of course the topic he’d decided to get acquainted with did nothing to help his mood, just managed to make him more depressed.              

  Today was different though. Bobby came up to his room and told him that his idjit brother and sister wanted to speak with him. Maybe he could finally redeem himself, or more than likely he’d get yelled at. He had been smart enough not to try to speak to anybody so far, but he definitely was _not_ going to give up the chance to talk to them. 

  He took a deep breath and walked into the library where they were waiting. “Uh, hey Sam,” Dean started as he walked into the room. Katie was looking at him as well, but stayed silent. 

  “Hey,” he answered, feeling really self-conscious. He wasn’t sure which one of them to look at, so he looked back and forth between them and tried not to hold their gazes for too long. 

  Luckily, Dean didn’t make him wait to get to his point. “Katie and I are going to be heading out,” he paused for a moment, looking down at his feet, and then directly into Sam’s eyes, “there’s a possible case in Kansas we need to look into, and we both decided we should go alone.” Sam nodded, while he had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, he thought it might. 

  “We’re not saying that it’s permanent, but there’s a lot everybody needs to figure out,” he added, and as he said it, Katie’s gaze dropped to the floor. She seemed to sag in on herself, and it made Sam internally cringe. He had broken them apart, just as she had feared. Sam decided it was his turn to say something.

  “For what it’s worth, I am sorry,” he admitted quietly, knowing it probably wouldn’t make a difference. 

  Katie lifted her gaze from the floor. “I wish I could believe that,” she almost whispered. She sounded defeated, and it enraged Dean to hear it. 

  “Show us there’s a difference, otherwise I don’t want to hear a damn word from you,” he demanded, glaring at him. 

  Sam nodded again, this chance was more than he deserved, and he knew it. The only thing he was more grateful for was that they hadn’t discovered how exactly he had been honing his skills. Or who he’d been looking for. And he was going to make sure it stayed that way. 

  Katie was at a loss. She wanted to forgive Sam, to be at ease with him, but she couldn’t. Seeing him with her, seeing what he was doing, it was all she could think about. It had even crept into her dreams last night, although it was only after she had asked Castiel what he had just pulled her from that she remembered it. 

  She needed time away from him, time to think and process and heal. It was too soon after Ryan, and Dean, and Sam’s earlier discretion. She needed a break, and if that meant preventing an Apocalypse without Sam, than that was what she would do. She quietly rose from her seat and went up to her room without a word. 

  Dean closed in a moment later. “I hope you realize what you’ve done. She still has nightmares about the first time. Cas told me they haven’t been getting better either. So I suggest you take this break, and you figure all this shit out. Because I meant what I said at the motel. Either you stop, or we’re done,” he stated, moving slowly towards him until he’s right up in his face. 

  Sam held his gaze, but didn’t say a word. There was nothing _to_ say. Dean dropped his head. “I hope you know that she’s not the only one you hurt,” he whispered, turning away and walking out of the room before Sam could respond. 

 _Well, that was not expected._ There hadn’t been any yelling, which was the most surprising, and there had been minimal rage compared to earlier. Instead there had been a kind of sorrow that had pummeled Sam much worse than Dean had a few nights before. With a heavy heart, he picked himself up and started to walk out of the room. 

  “They’ll come around, you just gotta show ‘em is all,” Bobby predicted when Sam reached the stairwell. 

  He had been decidedly _not_ eavesdropping, but kind of doing it anyway, just to make sure they weren’t too harsh on the poor kid. He wasn’t going to say anything, seeing as they had not been too unkind, but the look on Sam’s face when he came around the corner had urged him to. So he said what he thought.

  Sam uttered a bitter laugh, if you could really call it that. “I don’t know that I deserve them coming around,” he muttered as he walked up the steps, no longer wanting to face anyone. 

. . . 

  Katie placed her duffel into the trunk of the Impala early the next morning, resting it perfectly next to Dean’s. A friend of Bobby’s had called the day before about a possible rugaru, and despite how upset she was, she couldn’t help but be intrigued. They had never come across one before, if that’s what this was. So instead of thinking about her brother and the mess he had created, she went into hunter mode. She pulled her father’s journal out of Dean’s bag, shut the trunk, and got into the passenger seat. 

  Dean turned the key in the ignition. “Starting early on the research?” he asked her as he pulled out of Bobby’s driveway. 

  “Yeah, I figure we’ve never seen one, so the more we know the better,” she answered, never looking up from her reading. 

  “Well let’s just hope this Eve chick hasn’t affected it, otherwise our info might be useless,” he noted after a moment. 

  It was the first time he had thought back on what Castiel had said before he had dropped the bomb about Sam... Dean pulled himself away from where _that_ thought was leading and looked over at Katie, who had appeared to have forgotten the information as well.

  “Oh-- yeah I almost forgot about that,” she started, “Let’s just hope that even if the thing’s patterns have changed, the way to kill it hasn’t.” 

  She sighed. _Why does everything have to be so difficult?_ She couldn’t help but wonder how things would be if Dean hadn’t gone to Hell. She realized then that Sam would be dead indefinitely, and it sickened her that she had even thought about it as plausible. 

  “Mmm,” Dean hummed in agreement. 

  Realizing the conversation was over, he rummaged around for a Metallica cassette he knew they both liked. Finding it, he put it into the radio and turned the volume up. There was at least a twelve hour drive ahead, so Dean lost himself in the road.

. . .

 Katie jumped awake, her heart beating fast, skin clammy with sweat, and a hand on her shoulder shaking her. She opened her eyes frantically, instantly calming a bit when she realized it had been a dream and Dean was there. She forced her breathing to slow. 

  “Sorry,” she groaned shakily, still very obviously far from fine. 

  “Don’t be,” he answered, slinking an arm around her shoulders. “You okay?” he asked after a moment.

  She pulled away a bit, not enough to pull out of his arm, but enough to look up at him. “Yes... and no,” she answered.

  He nodded in return, he could understand that. “What were you dreaming about?” 

  “You,” she replied as she extracted herself from his grip. She hesitated. “I think I saw you in Hell-,” she started, shaking again, “but that couldn’t be, could it? How would I be able to see that?”

  “What did you see?” he asked quietly.

  “There was this great flash of light, and you were being lifted. And there were demons and evil things I don’t have a name for that came at you and the light, and they were pulling at, at wings. Oh my god- it was Castiel. I don’t understa- Dean what’s happening?” she continued, growing increasingly frantic, her eyes widening and her breaths coming faster. 

  Dean forced his face to stay calm and normal, meanwhile he saw flashes of what she was describing. _There’s no way she should be able to know this._ He needed to speak with Castiel, without Katie around. It’d have to wait until they were in Kansas. So he lied. 

  “It was just a dream,” he started, running a hand through her hair as he had when she was young, “I’m sure it was nothing, just a nightmare,” he pointed out soothingly. 

  He pulled her back into an embrace, and felt her start to calm again. He wasn’t going to let her know how worried he was, at least not yet, not until he knew exactly what was going on. When her breathing finally evened out, he pulled back.

  “Why don’t we get something to eat? It’s been like six hours since we left Bobby’s, I’m sure we both need to stretch our legs,” Dean suggested, forcing a tiny smile. 

  She nodded slowly, eyes still a little frantic as she searched his face. The probing stare almost felt like it did when Cas looked at him, which was disconcerting coming from her. He shook it off, turning back in his seat to turn the car back on. 

  “I think we’re about five miles out of a town, I’m sure there’s a diner there,” he explained, somehow remembering the sign they had passed when she had started screaming. It had taken a long time to wake her up, so long he had almost called Cas, although now he kind of wished he had. Dean started the engine and pulled back onto the road, the car silent. 

  “Dean- I know it’s crazy, but this didn’t feel like just a dream,” Katie contested softly after a moment. 

  “I’m sure it didn’t, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t,” Dean answered, hoping she would leave it be for now. He would give her the truth when he had it, but he didn’t want her to worry until then. _No, leave the worrying to me._  

  She sighed. “I guess you’re right. It’s impossible. It’s just- it seemed so real, like I shouldn’t have been able to give so much detail without being there or something. And the feel of it. It was cold, so cold, but burning hot at the same time,” she shivered, “and- I don’t know. You’re right, it was probably just a dream.”

  Dean gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. She had just perfectly described the feel of Hell. There was a certain freezing cold that came from inside, an emptiness that couldn’t be described, while the outside of you burned. 

  He nodded, swallowing down the bile that had risen in his throat. “It’s crazy how much your mind can come up with. I had a lot of nightmares when I was younger about Dad on hunts that seemed pretty real, even when I had no idea what kind of monsters were out there. What freaked me out was that most of them I hadn’t even seen in movies.” He paused, remembering some of the things he used to dream about, then added, “Although there was this one dream I had where Dad was taking on the blob. Literally one of the scariest nightmares of my childhood,” he chuckled a bit at the memory.

  He was somewhat surprised when Katie started laughing, really kind of ridiculously hard. “Oh god- that’s- that’s just too good Dean,” she managed in between fits, trying to catch her breath at the same time.

  Dean smiled; it was good to see her laugh a bit, even at his own expense. “It is pretty funny isn’t it?” he chuckled again.

  “It’s just- as a kid you always seemed like superman or something, and to know now that of all things-- the blob scared you, that’s just-- it’s just too good,” she got out in between deep breaths, but by the end she was laughing again. Dean laughed too, harder than he had in a while. It wasn’t until after he had caught his breath that he realized what she had said.

  “So let me get this straight,” he started as he pulled into the local mom and pop diner, “you thought I was superman?” He couldn’t help but smile at that, even if he would prefer batman any day. 

  “Well duh, I mean you did everything for us. It was hard _not_ to look up to you. You never asked a damn thing from us either, which is funny because I know that I would’ve done anything you asked. Still would, unless it means you dying,” she answered, staring straight at him. 

  And boy did she mean it. She had always idolized him, and it crushed her that he didn’t realize why. 

  Dean held her gaze, “Still, superman might be pushing it,” he argued, forcing down the memories that threatened to claw up. 

  He was _nothing_ like superman, maybe once, but not anymore. The new part of him that was created and fostered in Hell was a dark, twisted mark on his soul that could never be healed or forgotten. He would never be clean or good again. 

  “Stop it Dean. Just stop. I know a lot has happened to you, but you’ve always been good, the best actually. And you still are. Heaven wouldn’t have saved you if you weren’t,” Katie downright growled at him, pulling him from his thoughts. 

  When he looked at her, he saw the anger clearly. _She must really believe that.... if only she knew the truth._ But instead of telling her all the awful things he did, he nodded, pulled the keys out of the ignition, opened the door, and started walking towards the diner. 

. . .

  Once they had ordered their food, Dean finally broke the tense silence that had hung over them since the parking lot. “So, did you find anything on a rugaru in Dad’s journal?” he asked.

  “Not really. There was a scribble on one page about fire being the only thing that can kill one. I fell asleep before I got very far, so there could be something farther in,” Katie answered. 

  Dean nodded, knowing the journal was prone to having random bits on anything Dad had heard everywhere, depending on when he had heard it. 

  “From what Bobby said, the guy we’re meeting up with- Peter?- has seen a few before, so I’m sure he can fill us in when we get there,” he added after a minute. Katie nodded, then jumped as an angel appeared next to her. 

  “Jesus, Cas,” Dean exclaimed as he jumped too.

  “Please do not blaspheme,” the angel chided as he made himself more comfortable. Katie smirked at Dean, who hadn’t even realized what he’d said. 

  “Can I get anything for ya sweetie?” the waitress asked, smiling down at the newcomer.

  “No thank you,” he answered, oblivious to the way the petite dirty blonde was attempting to flirt with him. Katie smiled.

  “I’ll add a slice of apple pie to my order, --Holly” Dean piqued up, checking her nametag while giving his most charming smile to the waitress. Her face lit up as she scribbled down the order.

  “Sure thing sugar,” she affirmed, turning to get their food. Dean watched her leave happily. 

  “You are something else Dean,” Katie said as she shook her head.

  “Katie, I have a simple rule. If you got it, flaunt it,” he replied, smiling his most cocksure smile, “And it just so happens that I still got it.”

  She laughed a bit at that. “You sure got something. Although I’m not sure I want to know what...” she answered, laughing a bit more at her own cleverness.

  “Ha ha ha, bitch,” Dean answered, smiling despite his sarcasm. He got a tongue stuck out at him in return.

  “I think I might be missing something. What just happened?” Castiel asked, with his customary look of confusion on his face.

  “Dean flirted with the waitress, and I teased him about it,” Katie explained, turning towards the blue eyes she already knew were staring her down. 

  “Oh,” the angel answered simply. He looked down at the table for a moment, lost deep in thought. “Was she trying to ‘flirt‘ with me when she called me sweetie?” he added, looking back up at her.

  Katie nearly spit out the sip of water she had just taken. “Yes, probably,” she answered, after gulping it down. 

  “So... I ‘got it’ then?” the angel continued.

  Dean and Katie started laughing hysterically, which only left Castiel more confused.

  “Yes Cas, you ‘got it’,” Katie answered, using the air quotes just as the angel had. 

  “So... I should flaunt it?” They laughed harder. 

  “Cas you’re just-- too much,” Katie got out in between breaths. 

  Cas nodded, apparently confirming his suspicions, “So I probably shouldn’t flaunt it then.” 

  “I don’t think the world could handle it,” Katie answered, still laughing in little fits.

  Castiel decided he liked it when she laughed. It made him feel-- warm inside. Like he did something good. It hadn’t entirely been his goal when he had asked the initial question, but that was besides the point. He was definitely going to try in the future. Unfortunately, there were other things that had to be taken care of today. 

  The waitress reappeared with food as Katie and Dean’s laughter slowed. She placed Katie’s plate in front of her, then turned to Dean and placed his down. “The apple pie is on the house sugar,” she crooned, smiling brightly. 

  Dean looked up, smiling almost wickedly back at her, “You sure know the way to a man’s heart,” he answered, winking as he said it. 

  She blushed. “I’d like to think I do,” she giggled back.

  “Well thank you sweetheart,” he answered, taking a sip of his water and leaning back in the booth. 

  “Sure thing,” she replied, taking the tray and walking back behind the counter. 

  “Seriously Dean, I’m trying to eat,” Katie said, fake gagging.

  “Oh shut it, I’m allowed to have fun every once in a while,” Dean shot back, smirking at his sister. 

  It was Cas that answered. “Well I’m sorry to interrupt your fun, but I have come about a seal.” 

  “Oh, why didn’t you say anything before now?” Katie asked, eyebrows coming together in confusion.

  “You both appeared to be enjoying yourselves, I didn’t wish to interrupt that. I still don’t, but I must,” the angel answered, surprising the Winchesters. “There is a town a few hours west of here that is going to be the site for the raising of Samhain, a demon from the dark ages. It will happen Halloween night. From what I can tell, there is at least one witch involved. Our orders are to decimate the entire town, I’m asking what you think we should do.”

  “Who’s we?” Dean asked, especially because he hadn’t liked any of the other angels he had met so far.

  “Uriel and I,” Castiel answered simply, as if the situation was simple.

  “We’ll take care of the witch before it can raise him. There’s no need to go blowing up an entire town,” Dean decided after a moment.

  “We wouldn’t blow it up Dean, just erase it from existence,” the angel replied, as nonchalantly as possible. He couldn’t let Heaven see that he was glad they were choosing to save the town, but he was. 

  “Are you kidding Cas? That’s a big fucking deal, you can’t just go erasing people,” Dean retorted, not liking the angel’s attitude one bit.

  “Dean, he’s going against orders, he can’t look happy about doing it,” Katie answered for him, taking Castiel by surprise. He turned to her with his head cocked to the side, not understanding how she knew that. Dean looked between the two of them, trying to figure out what was going on himself. 

  “How did you know that?” Cas asked her, staring at her harder than he had in a while. 

  “You mentioned your orders were to decimate the town, but I.... got the feeling you’d rather not. I also remember you telling me not to go against Heaven, because I wouldn’t like the consequences,” she answered, keeping a part of the truth to herself. She wanted to tell Castiel that she could feel bits of his feelings every now and then, that she could feel him when he showed up and that it was getting stronger; but doing so in front of Dean was not a good idea, for both her and Cas’s sake, so she kept her mouth shut. There would be plenty of time later to tell him. 

  Unfortunately she wasn’t entirely certain that Castiel was as placated by her cover as Dean was. He had trained an extremely calculating look on her for quite a while after she was done talking. _Maybe he could tell there was more because he could feel it coming off of her, just like she could with him sometimes?_

  She wasn’t sure if she liked the thought of that or not, especially in some of the moments when she couldn’t help but notice how adorable the angel was in his uncertainty, or how terrifying he could be in his power. She definitely didn’t want him to think she was scared of him, especially since they were friends now. Luckily, Dean saved her from having to hold the angel’s gaze any longer.

  “So... can we at least finish eating before we head out?” Dean asked, trying to break the tension that had erupted between the two opposite him. He would prefer to know what the hell was going on, but he decided he could ask when he finally got to talk to Cas about Katie’s dream.

  “You would be worried about the food,” Katie answered, smiling a bit. 

  Castiel nodded, “That is fine. I will be waiting for your arrival.”

  “You’re not staying?” Katie asked, hoping she didn’t sound too disappointed. She liked how at ease she felt around Cas, even if she kept picturing him as a beautiful light surrounded by darkness that tore at his wings. 

  “I’m afraid not,” he answered, “Uriel is waiting for my orders. Knowing him the town might be gone if I wait too long.” 

  “Yeah that would be bad,” she agreed, looking back down at her food. 

  So far they’d met Uriel twice, and they hadn’t liked him on either occasion. He clearly did not like humans, which automatically put him on the dick list, but he was also a snarky little fucker, which never went over well when Dean was involved. Katie sighed. “I’m assuming he’s not going to like this?” she asked.

  “No, probably not. But he doesn’t really get a say in the matter,” Castiel answered. “I should go now, I’ll expect you in a few hours.” 

  The Winchester’s nodded. “See ya later then,” Katie added. Cas disappeared as quickly as he had appeared. 

  The pair finished their food in silence, the playful banter from earlier gone. Neither could pull themselves from their own thoughts, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. When they were done, they paid the check and walked purposefully back out to the Impala. 

  “We should probably get Bobby and- Sam to go to Kansas,” Katie said as she opened her car door. 

  “Yeah, I almost forgot about that. You want me to call?” Dean asked as he slid into the driver’s seat. She nodded in response. 

  As he ended the call and turned the ignition, he thought again about what they were about to be doing. _Stopping the fucking Apocalypse, oh no biggie._ He wondered if Katie was thinking the same thing, but decided there had been enough talking about feelings lately, and quite frankly he didn’t want to talk anymore anyway. 

  Not that he was angry about it, but he had always been one to keep his emotions locked tight. It’s what he always had to do. You can’t take care of two young children and worry about how _you_ feel, because they’re defenseless and have no idea how to handle what they feel, so you do it for them. Yeah, he was used to dealing with it (not that it had been much of an issue since they had been about 13, they had apparently picked up on stuffing their feelings down as well), but it had been emotional overload since he got back from Hell, not even including his own feelings. 

  The sudden sound of Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” pulled Dean from his thoughts. He hadn’t realized he hadn’t turned any music on, which is something that really just didn’t happen. He gave Katie a brief smile, one that she lazily returned before she looked out the window. _Maybe she understood_. The thought comforted him, in a way that he hadn’t really felt since-- well _before._


	10. I Never Got It Right, That's How This Breaks Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a bit shorter-- but I think the material makes up for it. Enjoy!

  Sam was ready and in the car within half an hour of the phone call from Dean. Bobby took a little bit longer, but he didn’t mind waiting. Sure, he was antsy and eager to prove himself, but Bobby was the only one who would even speak to him, best not to irritate him too by pushing for him to move faster. Maybe if he showed his siblings that he could still be relied on, they would be more willing to let him back in. Not that he would really blame them if they didn’t, but he had to try right? 

. . .

  Dean pulled up into the motel parking lot. It was dark out, had been for a while, but it didn’t phase him as he quietly got out of the car and went into the office to get a room for the night. 

  Katie had fallen asleep a while back, and luckily hadn’t started screaming or shaking this time, which from what Cas had mentioned when he’d asked a few days ago, was somewhat unusual. Normally she woke a couple times in the night, but it appeared her body was finally too tired to let her dream, so Dean was determined to let her get as much as possible before waking her. When he thanked the desk clerk and walked back outside, he noticed her sitting upright with slightly widened eyes. 

  She slowly got out of the car and walked towards him, making Dean realize he hadn’t moved since he noticed her. “Hey,” she said as she got close.

  “Hey, you alright?” he answered tentatively, unsure what had spooked her. 

  “Yeah, I woke up and it was dark and you weren’t there. It freaked me out for a second. Sorry about that,” she explained, grinning somewhat sheepishly. He smiled back. _Good, it was just some normal reaction. Normal is good._

  “I knew you were still afraid of the dark,” he added after a moment, his smile spreading as he said it. Her eyes narrowed in response, contrary to the growing grin on her face.

  “Am not. And at least I’m not afraid of planes you big baby,” she retorted.

  They both looked at each other, realizing how normal, and more importantly _okay_ this felt. Which for them was huge. 

  Until Katie kind of broke the moment unintentionally by saying something that Dean really didn’t want to hear. 

  “You know, sometimes it’s hard to believe you’re actually here,” she confided, looking at him with such adoration, he had to look away. He no longer deserved the value she placed on him, not after all that had happened. 

  His face must have betrayed him, because hers fell in response. She mumbled something that might have been “Sorry” as she walked around to get her duffle out of the trunk. He sighed to himself and turned to retrieve his bag as well.

  He turned around right into an angel. “Shit Cas, a little warning please?” he stammered after definitely _not_ jumping. “Personal space buddy, remember?” he added after a moment of the weird staring contests Castiel was prone to (he still was unsure what to take from the looks he received).

  “My apologies,” the angel muttered as he took a step back. 

  “You shouldn’t apologize to monkeys Castiel,” a decidedly pissed off sounding Uriel said from behind Dean.

  Instead of cursing out the asshole like he wanted to, Dean decided to ignore him and continued facing Cas. Which hey, maybe he was becoming more mature, because a year ago he probably would have started taunting the smug prick until he decided to smite him. The thought made him smile a bit to himself, because damn he still did have some good comebacks when he put his mind to it. 

  Instead he spoke to Cas, “So… what do you got for us?” 

  “Nothing he hasn’t already told us Dean, otherwise he would’ve killed the witch himself. Right?” Katie answered. Dean forced himself not to show how startled he was by her sudden appearance next to him. _When had she gotten so quiet? When did I get so jumpy? Oh… Hell, right._

  Castiel kept his face composed, but Dean could tell by the slight movement in his eyes that he was a little surprised she had known that. He wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about that, but decided it was something they could discuss when they were alone. 

  Uriel’s voice broke through Dean’s train of thought. “Oh this one has a scrap of intelligence, how adorable,” he muttered with what could only be described as condescension.

  Dean’s blood started to heat up a bit at the comment, but he was surprised when he noticed Castiel’s eyes flare with anger, the way they usually did when Dean was being extremely disrespectful. 

  “I suggest you keep your comments to yourself until it’s warranted Uriel,” he stated calmly, with just a hint of ice underneath.

  Katie just looked at the indignant angel and smiled toothily. Sure, that remark hadn’t really bothered her all that much, but seeing both Cas and Dean get angry in her defense made her feel a bit smug, so she decided to taunt the asshole a little bit. Which probably wasn’t the best idea, judging by the look of loathing she got in return. Her smile widened a bit as she watched Uriel fume inwardly, probably thinking of a million ways to simply smite the Winchesters from existence, or at least the ones present. 

  She winked and turned to face Cas once again. He was staring at her, which wasn’t unusual, but this seemed a little different. This was similar to what she had felt the first few times she’d met the angel, as if he was looking deep inside of her being, to the very core of what she was. His brow was furrowed together, as if he was confused, or maybe not able to see the whole picture still. That pleased her a bit, because as much as he was her friend, she didn’t necessarily want him knowing everything that she was.  

  Dean cleared his throat, breaking the eye contact that had started tipping towards uncomfortable. 

  “Your sister is correct, I have nothing more to tell you except that this witch is more than likely hundreds of years old, so be prepared. We can’t find where it’s hiding, so you’ll have to go about this like it’s a regular case,” the angel explained to both of them, keeping a set face and a serious tone. 

  This sounded completely unlike the Cas who had zapped into lunch earlier in the day, but Katie supposed it made sense considering another angel was around. She could feel the tension rolling off Castiel, the wariness at the doubt he still felt and still didn’t want to. 

  She hadn’t gotten over the confusion of how she knew the exact details of what he was feeling and why, but she had grown accustomed to it, and if she was honest it was nice to be able to understand how at least one of the people she cared about actually felt. Not that she could tell all that he was feeling, no she definitely couldn’t, but surprisingly enough he turned out to be less of a mystery than Dean was to her. That stung a bit in it’s own way, but she knew she would eventually get to the bottom of what her brother wasn’t telling her.     

  “What exactly will we be looking for?” Dean asked.

  “The ritual takes three days. Tomorrow we will bring you the information we get once it’s begun,” Cas answered as if he already knew Dean was going to ask. He probably did, Katie thought to herself.

  “Okay,” Dean assented, nodding. 

  He was curious as to what the ritual would be, but decided he was too tired to really care at the moment. On top of that, the air had been tense since the angels had arrived, due to Uriel he expected, which made him feel bad for the other angel. Contrary to popular belief, Dean actually did like Cas, even if he didn’t give him “respect” or whatever. He seemed to genuinely care about helping them, and he didn’t act as if they were inferior, even though Dean knew damn well they were, or at least he was. 

  “I will let the two of you rest then,” Cas concluded.

  “See you tomorrow,” Katie answered. Dean simply nodded in his direction. 

  “Katie, can you bring my bag in?” he asked, remembering belatedly that he had to speak with Castiel. She looked at him, eyebrows pulled together, then slowly nodded. She picked up his bag, took the key, and headed towards room number 5. 

  “Yes Dean?” the angel asked, taking a step closer even though he knew Uriel would be able to hear either way. 

  “We need to talk soon. Alone. That’s all I’m going to say right now, but it’s important,” Dean explained in a hushed tone. 

  Cas seemed to take that in for a moment, then he looked directly into Dean’s eyes and nodded slightly. It was a small gesture, but Dean got it immediately. He would have to wait until the angel could get away, _which means that he was just going to have to be patient._

  It hit Dean then how easily he could read Cas. He had always been fluent in Sam and Katie, but maybe he was learning Cas too, maybe this angel was becoming more than just an ally, but maybe a friend? He realized how chick flick that moment was, even just in his head, and he scowled inwardly. _Damn siblings and their emotions rubbing off on me_. 

  Instead of saying any of these things, Dean just nodded in return and walked away towards the room. As he got to the door he heard the tell tale wing flapping noise, signaling the angel’s departure. He realized that he felt a little better about the incident in the car than he had before, most likely because soon he would have help in what to do about it. Dean took a deep breath and opened the motel door. 

. . .

  Sam was struggling to keep his eyes open. Even though they had left as quickly as possible after getting the phone call, they were still a few hours out. Bobby must have noticed his drooping eyelids because he suddenly muttered, “Pull over ya goddamn idjit.” 

  Normally Sam would’ve argued that he could keep going a while longer, but he really was beat. So he pulled over and got out of the truck instead. He stretched his long limbs out and rolled his shoulders as he walked around to the passenger side. 

  “How ya holding up kid?” Bobby asked a few moments later, probably a little too casually to actually be casual. Sam didn’t blame his surrogate father for asking, considering he hadn’t seen or spoken to Sam since the day before. 

  “I’m doing alright, it’s good to be on the road instead of lying around the house,” he answered, knowing how awkward Bobby was when it came to feelings. 

  It made him think of Dean, and his utter lack of tact when it came to emotion. Unless, of course, Katie or Sam was going through something serious, then Dean would play the perfect big brother. He was and had always been their protector, and it made Sam realize exactly how alone he really felt. 

  Dean had been a constant. Even when he had left for Stanford, he knew all he had to do was call and Dean would have been there, Katie too. Somewhere along the way, Sam had lost sight of that, of what he had. The revelation sent an ache through his chest, straight to his heart. 

  Katie had been right of course, all those months before. Sam had betrayed all that Dean had done for him. And what did she get for pointing it out to him, for trying to help? She was pummeled, emotionally and physically. It broke her heart the way it was breaking his, and it all made sense now, so much sense. She didn’t fight back because she couldn’t. It wasn’t that she thought she deserved it, as Sam had a few days ago, no, it was much worse. She simply no longer knew what to fight back for; she’d lost everything. And this second revelation worsened the ache in his chest, threatened to spill over and out of him until there was nothing left.   

  Luckily Bobby had taken what he said at face value, and apparently had not noticed the war going on in Sam’s mind. A war that was waged against himself and what he had done. Maybe he was just better at hiding it then he thought, or maybe Bobby knew and decided it was something he had to work through himself. Either way, he turned on his side and stared out the window, hoping that the ache would ebb enough that he could close his weary eyes into nothingness.  

. . .

  Sam awoke a few hours later to find himself alone in the truck outside of a motel room. The door was shut, but there was a key sitting on the dashboard. Bobby must’ve not wanted to wake him, Sam decided. He yawned and stretched as much as he could inside the vehicle. After grabbing the key, he opened the door quietly, correctly assuming that it was past four in the morning. 

  As he slowly made his way to the room, he heard something moving behind him. He stilled, silently pulling the gun from the hem of his pants and switching the safety off. Hearing that whatever it was was moving towards him, he quickly turned and saw Ruby standing a few feet away from him.

  He lowered his useless weapon, stuffing it back in his pants as she stared him down. “What do you want?” he asked after a moment. 

  “Do you know what they went after?” she asked, seemingly ignoring his question for now. 

  “Saving a seal from what Bobby said,” Sam answered. While a part of him wanted to rant and rage at what she had done to him, he no longer had the energy to do it. Maybe she would just say what she had to and leave. 

  “You’re right, but do you know exactly what they’re going after?” Ruby asked again.

 _What the hell is she getting at?_ “No,” he answered simply, feeling even more tired than he had before he fell asleep. 

  “I do,” she taunted, still keeping her eyes trained on his. 

  “Stop playing games Ruby, say what you want to say, or leave,” Sam replied, sounding much more worn than he had intended to. He couldn’t be sure, but it looked like there was the smallest of smirks on her face before she continued.

  “They plan on stopping a very old, very dangerous demon from being released. I honestly don’t think they’re going to be able to. And once he’s risen, you’re the only one who will be able to stop him,” she stated, as if it were a fact, a surety. 

  “How do you know that?” he asked.

  “I am a demon, I do get to hear what other’s are do-,” she started, but was interrupted by an impatient Sam.

  “I meant how do you know that I’m the only one who could stop him?” he clarified, voice rising slightly with anger.

  “Because he will kill them,” Ruby stated simply. She didn’t need to explain who. He got the message loud and clear; Dean and Katie would die.

  “What about the angels? Cas wouldn’t allow it,” Sam asked confidently. He wouldn’t follow her so blindly this time.


	11. What About the Fallout?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam has some realizations, Katie does something REALLY stupid, meanwhile Dean and Cas have no idea what's going on/what's going to happen.

  Dean woke up with a jolt. He was slightly breathless, even as he realized it had been a dream. He was no longer in Hell, Katie wasn’t on the rack, and _he_ hadn’t been cutting into her. Dean couldn’t even say the demon’s name in his mind; it would make it real, as if he existed outside of his dreams and Hell. The terror he had experienced wasn’t only physical, but it had been psychological as well. Months of watching Katie, Sam, Mom, Dad, and Bobby being tortured and killed had taken their toll on him down there. And _he_ had been the cause of all of it. 

  “Are you okay?” Katie asked quietly from the other bed. _Shit, she must’ve heard me._

  He turned to face her. “Better now, sorry to wake you,” he answered. Hopefully she understood from her own that he didn’t really want to talk about it. 

  She nodded slightly at him, then added softly, “You called out my name.” It was neither a question nor an accusation, but a statement. And yet it felt like all three.

  “I’d rather not talk about it,” he responded simply.

  Apparently she understood, because she nodded again, checked the clock and got up to take a shower.   

  He checked the clock as well; it read 9:00 in bright red lines _._ It was weird, this whole waiting around for the angels business, and he decidedly didn’t like it. He would’ve much rather been on the look out himself, but he trusted Cas. _Wait- what? When did that happen?_ _When had he decided that the angel was worthy of his trust?_ It wasn’t a very easy thing to gain because Dean didn’t give it out like candy. Too many people had broken it for him to be that way. He was still dwelling on the gravity of his discovery when Katie came out of the bathroom.

  “Dean, are you okay?” she asked for the second time that morning.

  “Yeah-- I. It’s just that I think I’ve actually come to see Cas as a friend,” he answered slowly, slightly amazed at it.

  “I’m glad,” she replied, smiling a bit. “Dean Winchester with a friend though… should I check your temperature? Are pigs flying?” she added, laughing a bit by the end.

  “Oh shut it,” he answered, appreciating the way she had skirted around the feelings aspect, although he supposed this might actually be kind of a big deal. Not even in high school had he really had a friend, there hadn’t been a point, John would come back from a hunt and they’d leave as soon as he did. 

  “Why don’t you take a shower? I’ll go grab some breakfast and we can wait around for the dynamic duo to bring us our case,” Katie suggested a few minutes later, pulling Dean out of his thoughts.

  “I don’t like it.”

  She seemed to immediately understand what he meant. “Neither do I, but I’m sure it’s just a one time thing,” she answered. 

  “Better be,” he retorted petulantly. 

  Katie chuckled at that. She gathered her coat and the keys as Dean scrambled his way out of bed. She was a bit surprised when Dean embraced her strongly, but returned it without a thought. 

  “Must’ve been some dream,” she mused after he had pulled back. He didn’t look her in the eyes, but he nodded. 

  “We could talk about it. I know you’re emotionally constipated, but sometimes letting it out can help,” she started again, and while others may have thought she sounded patronizing, Dean just thought she sounded tired. 

  “And while we’re at it I could braid your hair,” he answered, putting what Katie called his “I’m a big man who don’t need no feelings” cocky grin on. She sighed, but accepted it without a problem. 

  “Go take a shower you overgrown child,” she chided as she put her coat on. 

  He kept the grin and was on his way to the bathroom when he heard the door shut. Knowing she was gone, he let the smile fade from his face. If he had anything to do with it, she would never know anything about what happened in Hell, which made the talk he was going to have with Castiel even more important. 

. . .

  Apparently rugaru’s were essentially human… until they ate someone. The only humans Sam had ever killed were witches and demon vessels, and that was only when they were forced to.  

  He decided trying to talk to the guy might help; maybe he could make the _choice_ to not be what he was. Bobby didn’t necessarily like the idea, but he went with it. Peter, on the other hand, was vocally against it. His constant protests of “it’s inevitable” and “they can’t even help themselves” were starting to wear Sam thin. 

  It wasn’t that he thought they were the same, this man and him, it was more like he couldn’t deny the similarities, and he _wanted_ to believe there was a way back from them. He had to believe it, otherwise, there really was no hope. 

  Unfortunately they’d have to wait until tomorrow to talk with him alone. He would be at work all day today, and then his wife would get home. From Peter’s intel, there was a good chance they could get him tomorrow around midday, while his wife was shopping. 

  Instead, Peter showed him the makeshift flamethrowers he created from fire extinguishers, which was pretty cool. Something he would have enjoyed more if it weren’t for the gnawing in his gut that said he wasn’t going to be able to save this guy, and therefore he would be unable to save himself. 

  He knew by now that he was addicted. Addicted to the high his powers gave him. The feeling of control. The way he could make things right, that he was no longer just a pathetically weak human being matched up against things much greater than him. Something Dean and Katie could never understand, because they hadn’t had it thrust upon them. Nobody _chose_ to be this way. 

  The hardest part of resisting was that he really didn’t think there was anything wrong with what he was doing, he just didn’t like the fallout. He had promised Dean he wouldn’t, and that was the betrayal. He betrayed Katie by everything that he had done to her that night and since. But using his power to exercise demons? Using their own evil against them? He found nothing wrong with it, and there wasn’t much that could be said to change that. 

  That being said, he would try his hardest to stop. His only remaining family deserved that. He knew he had put them through a lot, had lied and struck and hurt them. He had been angry, partially because they couldn’t understand any of it, and partially because he hadn’t asked for any of it. 

  And maybe, if he was honest with himself, he could admit that the anger had never left. He was constantly angry; at himself, at Ruby, Dean, Katie, his father, God, Azazel, whoever had let all of this awful shit happen. And it never really let up. So he would try to force it down, along with this power. He would do it for them, because no matter what he did, he truly did love them. 

  That also didn’t mean he wouldn’t use it if he had to. He was not going to let them die in two days. He would do what he had to ensure their safety, if what Ruby had told him was true. She had convinced him last night that there was a definite possibility they would fail, so he would be there; ready to stop it, if what she saw came to pass. _They can hate me all they want, but at least they’ll be safe._ He fell asleep with that thought in his mind. 

. . .

(Earlier that same day)

  “Are you fucking kidding me Cas?” Dean raged. He was _pissed._

  “No, I am not kidding.”

  “You waited until the psycho sacrificed someone to get us started on this?” he yelled. _This was un-fucking real._

  “Dean, we had no idea where to even begin looking. They’ve been very careful, there was no sign of a witch anywhere, I checked,” Cas answered, seemingly unaffected by Dean’s ranting. But Katie knew better. The angel felt like shit about it, and he really did look as hard as he could. 

  “You checked?” Uriel inquired, tone hard to read, which made her wary of him. “What, to placate these lowly creatures?”

  “Shut the fuck up,” Katie shot at him, and without even looking over at the angel she turned to her brother. “Dean, if this was a regular case we wouldn’t have come in until someone was dead either. He looked, I know he did.”

  Before Dean could ask _how?_ a very pissed off Uriel was in Katie’s face. “How dare you speak to me like that? You are _nothing, absolutely nothing_.”

  “I’m pretty sure I told you to _shut the fuck up_ ,” she retorted, getting close enough so that he could definitely feel her breath. Not that Dean could think about breathing, or the fact that Cas was as still as he was. _What the fuck is going on?_

  Quicker than any of them had been expecting, Uriel grabbed her by the front of her shirt, lifting her off the floor, and slammed her into the nearby wall. “What was that monkey?” he sneered at her. 

  She struggled to breathe for a second and then “I said shut the fuck up.” 

  And then she spat blood in his face. _SHE WHAT?_ Dean turned to Cas, who looked torn, which yeah he could kinda get, but _holy fuck he needs to save her right now or she’s going to be dead. I thought I was the one with a big mouth and piss poor attitude but Jesus Christ she’s going to die-_

  His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by Cas gripping Uriel tight and removing his arms from her. “Don’t you protect her Castiel, you heard what she said. She has no right to speak-“

  “That is enough Uriel. You know Father intended her to be a part of this. Leave. I will call you back when it is warranted,” he ordered, with a similar authority to Dad’s, Dean thinks, and he’s not sure if that comforts him or not. Mostly he’s just shocked.   

  Uriel huffed, but obeyed. When the last echo of fluttering was gone, Dean bolted across the room to Katie. 

  “What the fuck was that?” 

  Instead of answering, she groaned a bit and spat out more blood. In the quickness of it all, Dean hadn’t even noticed the Katie-shaped hole in the wall that was now above her. 

  “A little help here?” he added turning to Cas. The angel was just staring at her with a look Dean couldn’t figure out, which _hey, what’s new there?_ “Cas?” 

  Without saying a word, he took the few steps that remained between them and kneeled beside her. “Thank you,” he said softly as he put two fingers to her forehead. _What the hell am I missing here?_

  “The pleasure was all mine,” she responded, smiling a bit. 

  “Can someone please tell me what’s going on?” Dean asked, actually kind of very pissed at having had to watch that without knowing the ending was fixed. 

  Katie turned to him. “Uriel is here to keep an eye on Cas, so I tried to get him some breathing room. Plus, that asshole was really starting to piss me off,” she answered.

  “Yes, Heaven won’t be as suspicious this way. If Uriel were to have killed her, it would have put him against the Word of God, he would’ve been killed in turn. I was simply saving a brother from certain death,” Cas added, he then turned back to Katie, “But how did you know?”

  She had the decency to look sheepish at that, “I wasn’t entirely sure there was something protecting m-“

  “No I meant about Uriel,” the angel clarified, settling his unwavering gaze on her again. 

  “Uh- well, I inferred. You were worried something was up, and then suddenly another angel is tailing you? Maybe I’ve read too many thrillers, but it seemed like someone was trying to keep an eye on you,” she lied. 

  “And you did _that_ without even being sure you were protected? What the hell Katie,” Dean objected, the exasperation only too clear in his voice. 

 _Well at least he bought it. Cas on the other hand…_ was giving her one of those looks like he knew she was lying, but didn’t know the actual truth.

  “Cas wouldn’t have let anything happen to me, right?” she asked, returning the look the angel was giving her, with an extra cocked eyebrow.

  “Of course not,” he answered calmly, but inside he could feel his vessel’s blood heating up. 

 _Am I… angry?_ _Why is she lying to me? How does she read me so well when I only get-- got-- random bits of her? No, this is not anger, I am just… frustrated._ Which made much more sense, because this feeling was different from the _anger_ he felt at Dean when he didn’t show respect, or at Uriel when he insulted his charges.

  “Although, I worry that he might try to make a case against you in Heaven. If they ended up agreeing, my standing in the way would be similar to your idea of treason. I would be killed for that,” he added, something that had just occurred to him. 

  “If that happened, I wouldn’t ask you to,” she admitted simply, honestly. He cringed inwardly.

  “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t,” he confided quietly. 

 _When had he decided it was okay to go against Heaven for the Winchesters? Or maybe it was just in this particular case?_ His mind started spinning. Heaven was lying and keeping an eye on him, that much he was sure of. Dean and Katie were his… friends. He trusted them, even if Katie was hiding something. He knew them, understood them better than many of his brothers, the ones that were still around at least. _Maybe this is what one does for their friends?_ She had been clearly willing to do it for him.   

  He looked up then, to see a bit of a shocked look on Katie’s face. _As if she had heard some of what I was thinking. Or maybe at what I said?_

  “So you’re telling me whatshisname, Michael, could overrule the word of God?” Dean asked.

  “Good question,” Castiel began, turning to look at him. “Often what we get from Father is vague and nonspecific. Occasionally we get a direct order such as, “Raise Dean Winchester, the Righteous Man, from Hell.” More often it is, “The oldest and youngest Winchesters are to be of great importance in the upcoming war.” You can see that there is space to rule the meaning of such things.”

  “Okay, so what do you think he’s going to do? And I’m the what?”

  “The Righteous Man. There have been many throughout time, and you are the current one. As for Uriel, I have a few ideas, but I won’t know until he decides to go to Michael, _if_ he decides to go to Michael,” he answered.

  “So maybe I shouldn’t have done that?” Katie asked tentatively. Castiel couldn’t tell if she was trying to be playful or if she was genuinely worried. 

  “Probably not, but I am grateful for it nonetheless. If he does go to Michael, I will see if there’s anything I can do to counteract his argument. So far, there is no evidence that he definitely will do anything though. I suggest we don’t worry about it until he does,” the angel explained, more calmly than he felt. 

  Not that he thought Uriel would do anything right away, but it made him uneasy that there was a possible threat looming. He already knew the perfect argument that could be used, and then Castiel would have to make a choice. One he would rather not have to make.

  “Well, nice one Katie,” Dean chided from where he now sat on the bed. 

  “Sorry.”

  He wanted to be angry with her, he really did, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be. Uriel had deserved it, and so did Cas. 

  “Did you really have to spit in his face?”

  “Probably not, but it felt damn good to. Not that I’m one to spit on people, I’d have preferred to knock him right in the jaw honestly,” she replied, standing up and stretching a bit. 

  “No you wouldn’t have, the impact would’ve more than likely crushed your hand,” Cas added dryly, standing up as well. 

  “Well shit, remind me not to punch an angel,” Dean whistled. Katie chuckled a bit.

  “You should both probably get going on this witch. There will be two more sacrifices. One tomorrow, and the final one will be in the evening on Halloween. The demon will more than likely take that body as a vessel. There isn’t much time, and we mustn’t let this seal fall. Too many have already fallen,” Castiel urged, somewhat gravely. 

  He was worried that if they failed to protect this seal, then Uriel would go ahead to Michael, blaming it on Katie. The Righteous Man could not be denied, but his sister was a different story completely. 

  They nodded and looked at the piece of paper Castiel had handed them earlier. It had an address and name, the victim’s presumably. _Well, here we go._

  “Thanks Cas,” Dean started, patting him on the arm, “We’ll head out in a few.”

  The angel nodded. “Call if you need anything,” and then he was gone.


	12. Sorry For the Things in Life That You Might've Missed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few good things happen (not really but whatevs), A LOT of bad stuff happens, and Bobby tries texting. Also, Katie sort of loses her mind a bit.

  Katie woke to the sound of wings in their motel room. She sat up quickly, instinctively knowing that it was Cas and that something was very, very wrong.

  “What is it?” she asked worriedly. Dean looked over at her, confused.

  “He’s gone to Michael. You’re going to have to finish this on your own. He can’t be allowed to persuade him,” Cas imparted… almost _frantically_. Dean had never heard the angel sound like that before, and hearing it now only served to deepen the uneasiness in his gut. 

  “What happens if he does?” he asked slowly. 

  “Uriel will finish what he started yesterday,” Cas answered, staring pointedly at Katie. 

 _Goddamnit. This is bad. Bad, bad, bad._ “What do we do?”

  “I need you to kill this witch before she breaks the seal, I will deal with Heaven,” he replied, still sounding somewhat anxious. He had thought there would be more time. 

  “Cas, if Michael sides with Uriel, don’t go against it,” Katie counseled, finally speaking up. She was not going to let him stand in the way where the wrath of Heaven was concerned. 

  He whipped around to face her, “And let you die? No, I won’t stand aside and watch,” he retorted. That got him two startled looks, which only served to irritate him more. 

  “I will take responsibility for my actions Cas. It was me, not you, who decided to be a smartass to a creature I knew could easily decide to smite me,” she answered calmly. 

  Even as she said it, he felt a nervousness that was not his own. _Oh._ Apparently he had not blocked his ability to feel her completely. 

  “I am your friend Katie, would you not stand up for a friend if they needed you?” he asked after a moment of thought. She just stared at him, so he continued, “Did you not stand up for me yesterday, knowing it could result in bodily harm? Why would you expect me to not do the same? Have I led you to believe that I am not a friend?” he ranted at her. 

  She looked visibly shaken, and she just kept staring at him with her mouth slightly open, and it was _infuriating_. After everything, she thought he would abandon them, and it made him _angry._

  Maybe some of his fury showed on his face, and maybe it pushed her to speak, because she finally said very, very quietly, “I don’t want to put you against your family.” 

  He seemed to deflate a bit at that, much to Dean’s relief. He had been watching with a similar reaction as his sister, which was probably best described as completely dumbstruck. The angel was obviously very worked up over this, and that basically equated to some scary shit. He had felt the electricity snapping in the air when Cas had started to yell. 

  “Sometimes you have to stand up against your family when they are wrong,” Castiel responded after a moment, hoping maybe she would relate. 

  “Not when that family would kill you for it,” Dean contended, because it was clear Katie was unable to at the moment. 

  Cas looked at him curiously, “So you would rather me let her die?”

  “No, of course not. We’ve had too many friends die for us though, and I understand that she doesn’t want to add you to the list. I-- I personally don’t either. There has to be a way we could hide or something if it comes down to it.”

  The angel cocked his head to the side; a sign Dean had come to realize meant his confusion had deepened. “It is… possible. I will meditate on it while I’m up there.” He paused for a moment and then added, “I have to go now, be ready to leave at a second’s notice. Oh, and Dean?”

  Dean turned and gave him a look as if to go on.

  “Thank you,” he added quietly, disappearing with the flutter of his wings. 

  “What was that for?” Dean asked, turning to Katie.

  “You don’t want him to die. He figured you would be fine with it if it meant saving my life,” she explained quietly. He took a step towards her, frowning.

  “How do you know that?”

  “I honestly don’t know,” she answered, her head still pointed down towards the floor.

  “Are you okay?” he asked her, not missing that it was just yesterday she had been asking him the same thing. _Just a normal day in the life._

  “No.”

 _Well, no one ever said I claimed to be as truthful as her._ “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked honestly. 

  “No.”

  “Okay,” he answered, walking over to the table in the room where all of the photos and notes from yesterday’s crime scene were laid out. 

. . .

  Bobby shut the engine off and turned to look at the Winchester sitting next to him. As he looked at the man’s profile, it was hard not to see the child he once was. The eager, honest, smart-as-fuck kid who had always been too polite. Sam was different now, all those things were still at his core, but he was somehow different. 

  Quiet. Very quiet since his siblings had left. And for all the brooding, there was also a spark of hopefulness, one that Bobby hoped wasn’t connected to the man they were about to talk to, but knew was. And he understood it, he really did, but that didn’t mean the outcome of this was going to be any different. He didn’t believe this man could fight off being what he was. Sam, on the other hand, was a different story. He had all the belief in the world in Sammy. 

  He had once told the Winchester clan that family don’t end in blood, and he had meant it. These three idjits John had left behind were his now, he figured. So if that meant he would have to hunt with Sam for a while, well he wouldn’t be complaining. His body might, not being as young as he used to be, but he wouldn’t. If it meant that he would eventually have to knock some sense into the other two, or Sam himself, he would do that too. Hell, he’d even sit down and have a completely disgusting, feelings-filled talk with all of them if it came down to it. He’d do whatever he had to to protect them. 

  Sam appeared to finally notice that he was being watched, and he turned to look at Bobby. “You don’t think this is going to change anything, do you?”

  “Not particularly, doesn’t mean I’m not wrong though,” he answered truthfully.

  “Thank you,” Sam replied, giving him a small smile. _Maybe he understands why I at least have to try._

  “Don’t mention it kid.” Both were quiet for a time, lost in their own thoughts about what was to come. In fact, they were so engrossed, they didn’t notice the wife’s car leave. About an hour later, they were surprised by loud noises coming from within the house. _Oh fuck, please don’t be the wife please don’t be the wife._

  They scrambled out of the truck, handy little fire extinguisher/flamethrowers in tow. By the time they got to the front door, everything was eerily silent, and they knew they probably weren’t going to like what they found. What they hadn’t expected to see was Peter, tying up a gagged man to a chair. 

  “What the hell are you doing?” Sam exclaimed, taking a step towards them.

  “What you obviously can’t do. I’m taking care of the problem before it becomes one,” he answered, pointedly pulling the ropes extra tight.

  “You haven’t even given him a chance!”

  “He doesn’t deserve one!”

  “He didn’t choose this,” Sam argued quietly, trying to make this guy understand. “He doesn’t even know what’s happening to him.”

  “Sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles son. I’m not saying it’s fair, or that he’s a bad person, but this needs to be taken care of,” and even as he said it, Sam knew he was right. 

  And he also knew that he had to make the difference clear in his mind between them. When this man turned, he would kill people. Sam didn’t kill people, he would never do something like that. He preyed on demons, doing his job with a little extra juice. He was nothing like this man. There was only one little nagging part at the back of his head that said _maybe you’re wrong_ , but he ignored it. 

  Before he had a chance to voice his cessation, the man’s fight or flight instincts kicked in. With the power that came from being what he was, he tore the ropes to shreds and pounced on Peter. 

  Like the animal he was now, he ripped into the man’s throat, tearing it quite easily. The scream that had been working it’s way out turned into a gurgle that made Sam’s stomach churn. He chewed, seemingly satisfied now that he had human flesh. Sam used the moment to his advantage, knocking it over with a hit of the fire extinguisher, unfortunately a moment too late to save Peter. _Damnit._  

  The thing landed and pounced quicker than Sam had much time to react to. He was, however, able to get the fire extinguisher between him and the now-rugaru. Bobby, waiting until he could get a clear shot without injuring Sam, had his makeshift flamethrower ready to go, and he aimed it at the creature’s face. 

  As the thing scrambled to get at Sam, he seemed to ignore what they were saying to each other. So when Bobby got to three and Sam pushed up with all his strength, the rugaru seemed surprised. Neither would easily forget the screams he made as he burned, nor the smell that seemingly clung to their skin for the rest of the day.   

. . .

  Sam was eager to get some fresh air, especially since the motel room had become particularly stifling. He took a step outside and breathed deeply, it was something he was accustomed to doing, considering Dean made him go on food runs more often than not. Although he moaned and bitched about it, he actually didn’t mind all that much, which is why he offered to for Bobby. 

  As he made his way to the truck, he was somewhat unsurprised to see Ruby sitting on the hood of it, the cocky smirk she always wore suspiciously absent. 

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “You’re not going to like what I have to tell you,” she replied. In the past, when she had to tell him things he wasn’t going to like, it had sometimes turned violent. Surprisingly she never really blamed him for it, just filed it under the “he just lost his big brother” folder and didn’t bring it up again. 

  “Okay,” he said slowly, honestly just wanting her to get it over with.

  “The angel, Cas or whatever, is gone. He’s trying to stop a different angel from getting the okay to smite your sister, not that I’d mind that too much-“ she was interrupted by an almost feral snarl that came from Sam.

  “Easy, you can’t really blame me for not liking her, can you? Anyway, it doesn’t look like they’re going to have any heavenly assistance. I’m telling you, what I saw is going to happen, and there will be nobody to stop it. You have 24 hours, at most, to get there and save them, otherwise that’s it, it’s all over folks.”

  Sam’s mind was reeling. “Okay, okay. I’ll get Bobby back to Sioux Falls and head over to where they are.”

  “You’re going to have to leave fast then. There’s not a lot of time, and it’s a long drive,” she answered, “I’ll meet you at Bobby’s.”

  He nodded and turned back around to the motel room.

  “Change of plans, we gotta go now. I got a call from Dean saying that the angels want my help with something. I have to get to them by tomorrow afternoon,” Sam explained hurriedly, throwing his stuff into his bag. It didn’t surprise him at how easily he was able to lie, he hadn’t even really noticed it in a long time.    

  “Okay. Do you know what they want?” he asked as he gathered his belongings from the room. 

  “No, he- uh, he didn’t have much time to talk, just told me to get over there as quickly as possible,” he answered, really hoping Bobby would let it drop.

  “I could come with you, it would get ya there a lot faster.”

  Sam stopped, his heart thudding in his chest. “No,” he responded, zipping up his bag and heading towards the door.

  “Why not? You seem-- on edge, and I think having someone else there might be good for ya,” he asked. Bobby was decidedly suspicious. There was no reason Sam should say no, back up never hurt nobody. And yet, he seemed adamant about going alone. _Smells like trouble_. 

  What he hadn’t been expecting was for Sam to wheel around with a seriously dark look on his face and say, “Because I said no.” 

  Bobby was more than a bit stunned by the sudden turn, which only made him more wary of this kid going by himself. But he wasn’t sure what else he could do. He could try to tail him, but it would be obvious from the get go. Maybe he could think of something on the way back. 

  “Okay son, no need to get angry. I was just tryin’ to help,” he appeased, obliging him… for now. 

  Sam’s face softened. He hesitated and then added, “Sorry, I just-- I want to prove myself to them. Show them I can help still. I just got a bit worked up, you didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry,” and as he said it, Bobby couldn’t help but think that maybe he was telling it to himself as well. _Definitely not good._

  He kept up the farce though, and just let out a sigh. “It’s alright son, I get it.” _Who the hell does he think he’s kidding? I’ve known this kid since he was in diapers, and I’m not that stupid._

  Sam nodded and headed out towards the car. _Better think quick old man, you got maybe ten hours to think of something,_ Bobby thought to himself as he followed. 

. . .

  Katie was sitting at the table in their dingy little motel room when she got a text.

**Fr: Bobby**

**Where are you guys?**

  She was a bit confused because _since when the hell does Bobby text?_ But decided it would be a waste of valuable brain activity to think about it ( _I mean, come on, it’s like three in the morning and we’re still nowhere.)_

**To: Bobby**

**Hampton, Iowa. Y?**

  Dean had taken the half an hour drive ( _which yeah, sucked ass)_ to the only 24-hour convenient store around in search of coffee. _Because they had at most about seventeen hours to stop a fucking seal from breaking and a fucking demon from rising and a bunch of people from dying. Oh, but no pressure. Or help for that matter._ She guessed since the latter was actually her fault, she should probably not complain about it, but it was three in the morning, so she allowed it. Just not out loud.

**Fr: Bobby**

**Nothing. Just wanted to check up on you actually.**

**To: Bobby**

**Have u been talking to dean?**

_If that jackass told Bobby to talk to me, I will kill him… slowly._ But seriously, why the hell would he _text_ her for that? It’s not like he’d ever been shy about calling before, why the sudden change?

**Fr: Bobby**

**No. Should i?**

**To: Bobby**

**No. Just was wondering y u wld text me. How’s the case?**

  There was a hidden _how’s Sam doing?_ in there, and if anyone would know it, it would be Bobby. Even though he was a bit like Dean in the emotions department, he picked up on things like nobody Katie had ever met, which probably would’ve helped him be an awesome parent, until the cruel world decided to strip that chance away from him. She supposed that he saw the three of them as his children anyway, so maybe it hadn’t been a complete loss. 

  Sometimes it made her feel bad that she would think of Bobby as a father figure. John Winchester had been, at his core, a very good human being. Hell, he had taken her in, hadn’t he? But he had been completely ruined by Mary’s death. 

  By the time she was old enough to go to school, Dean had become their solitary parent on a day-to-day basis. John would forget holidays, birthdays, and sometimes even groceries, but Dean never did. And when it was Dean’s birthday, Katie and Sam would do everything they could to provide for him too. They would steal snacks and find a present, and they’d hide everything away until they had a few minutes to set up. One time, she stole a movie, and they stayed up late and watched it together. Dean would always go quiet at first, like he really hadn’t been expecting to get anything, and he didn’t have words for how much it meant to him that he had.

**Fr: Bobby**

**We got it, but it managed to kill Peter. Your brother is doing fine. But I think he wants to know if you two are doing alright. He’s gotten edgy.**

  If he was going to be texting more often, she was either going to have to teach him how to do it quickly, or show him how to use text slang, because _damn_ , that had taken forever. She smiled a bit at the thought of Bobby calling the phone a goddamn idjit, which was a very likely possibility.      

**To: Bobby**

**Good. I think we should be done by Mon. at the latest, but prbly tmrw nite.**

**Sry about Peter.**

_Hopefully tomorrow night, otherwise it might cost us my ass. Although I might die anyway._ She was grateful for the next vibration that clanged on the table, both alerting her that Bobby had answered, and pushing that thought away. 

**Fr: Bobby**

**Thank you. Hope yours works out a bit smoother. Goodnight ya idjit.**

  She smiled despite the melancholy that had been weighing her down since Cas’s appearance that morning. 

**To: Bobby**

**Thanks. Night Bobby.**

  She was still smiling when Dean walked in 20 minutes later. 

  “What do you have to be smiling about?” he asked, decidedly very grumpy that it was this late and he was still awake.

  “None of your business. Now bring me that cup of coffee and go to bed,” she retorted, looking up at him.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?

  “I was just thinking.”

  “Thinking about what?”

  “About how you were like a dad to me and yet you’re only like five years older.”

  “Oh,” he answered quietly, suddenly wishing he was very, very small. “I think I was more of a babysitter than anything else.”

  She laughed. Hard. _A fucking babysitter? Seriously? Goddamn Dean Winchester, you are truly the most self-loathing person on the planet. Ha. A fucking babysitter-_ She stopped laughing abruptly and looked up at Dean like he was a genius.

  Dean was scared. Katie had a tendency lately of getting manic when things got down to the wire. _Not that he blamed her_ , but this was getting a bit ridiculous. She wasn’t even working on the case that may decide whether she lived or not, and now she was staring up at him as if the sun shone out of his ass. He flinched a bit when she jumped out of her chair and kissed him on the cheek.

  “That’s it!” she screamed. “The fucking babysitter.” Dean looked at her wide-eyed and backed away a bit. _He must think I’m fucking crazy._

  “Katie…” he started, but she quickly interrupted him.

  “Do you remember what the wife said about how they had gotten a new babysitter about two months ago?” she asked, waiting for Dean to catch up with her. 

  He nodded, still slightly unsure as to where she was going. It was four a.m., so he decidedly didn’t judge himself like he normally did when one of his younger siblings knew something he didn’t.

  “I would bet my life that it was one of the teenagers from the party. We should go back to the wife and show her the pictures I took tonight.” She paused for a moment and then added, “I knew there had to be a connection somehow.” 

  Dean whistled. “I am awesome.”

  She looked up at him and smiled. “I already knew that though.”

  He rolled his eyes. So maybe today wasn’t as hopeless as she had thought.


	13. But The Fire Is Coming...

  Turns out, their lead had been correct. One of the girls from the party was also the Richardson’s babysitter, and had conveniently not shown up today when she was supposed to. Of course, because _when did they ever catch a break?-_ she wasn’t at her apartment, or anywhere else they looked either. 

  “We should split up,” Katie muttered, taking a sip from her fourth cup of coffee so far.

  “I guess,” he sighed, “God, I hate witches.”

  “These days I feel like I hate everything. Nothing’s ever simple anymore,” she answered, staring out the window. 

  He nodded, understanding the sentiment completely. He supposed it had never really been simple, it had always been leading towards this mess, but he got what she meant. Normal cases, where the most they had to worry about was death, not possibly allowing the entirety of humanity to die with them. Okay, so maybe their idea of “simple” was a little skewed, but it wasn’t like they didn’t already know that.

  “You take the Impala, I’ll walk, might be able to spot her easier that way,” Katie suggested, breaking through his train of thought. 

  He nodded again. Apparently three hours of sleep was not enough for him to form coherent sentences all day, or at least when he didn’t have to. 

  She smirked as if she knew. “You should probably get some more coffee, and maybe some lunch. You have your grumpy “I’m hungry” face on.”

  Apparently, spending their whole lives together made her notice things like that. “I could eat,” he answered.

  “You could always eat. I’ll get a jump start on my walking and I’ll call you if I find anything,” she replied as she got out of the car. She waved and started around the corner, blending in with the normal traffic seamlessly. 

  Sometimes he wondered what they all would have been like if they hadn’t been thrown into the mess that was their lives, but today he decided it didn’t matter. This is what they were, and nothing would be able to change that. Sam had tried to escape it, and it had just followed him. 

  He pulled out of the parking lot they had stopped in a few minutes before, and turned towards the diner he had noticed down the street. Somehow, it was already two in the afternoon, meaning they didn’t have a lot of time to find this witch. Dean decided he would keep an eye out of the window while he ate, seeing as this place had a very good position in town, right along a pretty busy street. And man was he hungry. 

  After ordering what looked like was going to be a pretty damn good cheeseburger, Dean turned to look out at the street. As he scanned the people milling about the assorted shops, he was surprised to find Cas making his way towards the diner. He watched, the angel appearing not to have noticed, and decided right there and then that he was completely okay with calling this guy a friend. 

  Cas walked into the diner, and sat across from Dean. At first he didn’t say anything, and Dean waited until he was ready. 

  “Katie’s situation is precarious at the moment,” he started, matter-of-factly. A statement, something they both knew, and both hoped would work out all right. 

 “Figured,” he answered.

  “I am doing my best.”

  “I know.” And he did. He knew that this celestial being was doing everything to help them, and he didn’t know what to do with it. It was big. A big thing that he had no idea how to react to. 

  The angel nodded. “Good. That is not why I am here though,” he continued.

  “What can I do for you then?”

  Before Cas could answer, the waitress came over with Dean’s food. “Can I get you something sir?” she asked the newcomer.

  “No thank you,” he answered politely. She smiled and walked away.

  Cas looked at Dean for a moment and then started again, “What is it that you needed to tell me?”

 _Oh._ In all the mess of the past few days, Dean had completely forgotten his request. “You’re not going to like it,” he stated.

  “I assumed as much. I also assumed it had something to do with your sister.” 

  “Well, yeah. Yeah-- she’s been acting strange. But the other day, right before you showed up to direct us here, she… well she had a nightmare,” he paused for a moment. 

  “That is not unusual,” Cas responded, brow furrowed. 

  “No, but this was different. She-- she dreamt of Hell. She said she saw this bright light with wings carrying me up, claimed it was you. And that there were these things attacking us. How could she have seen that?” he asked, looking up to see an expression of shock on Castiel’s face. 

  The angel took a minute or two to process that, or at least that’s what Dean thought he was doing. Dean decided to eat some of his burger and look back out the window. 

  Cas had assumed that she was more sensitive to him than she had been letting on. He knew that he was more sensitive to her. But he had not known just how much access she appeared to have. Surprisingly, it didn’t bother him as much as it probably should have. What _did_ bother him was exactly how she could have seen his true form like that. If she had been able to see his wings… it should’ve burned her eyes out.  

  He sighed. “I think this bond is stronger than I thought. Have you noticed that she seems to-- know things?”

  “Yeah, I have,” Dean answered. After yesterday he had thought back, and it had been going on for a while.

  “Apparently she is highly sensitive to my thoughts and emotions. It is possible that while she is unconscious she could come across any number of things unintentionally; memories included,” he explained after a moment.

 _Well shit._ “Is this a bad thing?” he asked.

  “I don’t think so, unheard of maybe, but not bad,” the angel answered. He mused for a minute, “It actually could be of use if she has to go into hiding,” he added. 

  “What, you could like- talk to her or something?” Dean asked curiously.

  “Possibly.”

  “That could be handy,” he replied. They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, Dean thinking about the fact that she might have to leave, and Cas hoping she wouldn’t have to.

  Cas picked up a napkin that was on the table and pulled a pen from that ridiculous trench coat he always wore. Dean was about to make a comment that resembled “dude seriously,” but the angel spoke before he could. 

  “There may come a time when you need to banish an angel,” he started, which left his companion a little more than confused. “This sigil, if done in your blood, will do the job,” he finished, sliding over the napkin that now contained Enochian. 

  “Banish?”

  “It sends us to a sort of-- in between space if you will. Takes a little while for us to get back,” he clarified. Dean nodded, inspecting the drawing in his hands. 

  “I should probably get back to the hearing. Before I go though, I have information that may help you. If my sources are correct, then the final part of the ritual will more than likely take place in a cemetery,” Cas instructed, standing up.

  “Thanks, that’s actually very helpful,” he answered.

  The angel nodded. “I will try to be back soon,” he assured as he disappeared from the diner. 

  Dean pulled out his phone and dialed Katie’s number.

  “Hello?” her voice came after a few rings.

  “Hey, I talked to Cas. He said we need to find a cemetery.”

  “Well, I managed to walk most of the town, and I’ve only seen three of those. I guess that’s a good thing,” she answered.

  “Except that there’s only two of us, and we’re not sure exactly when this is going down,” Dean pointed out, not liking that they’d more than likely have to stay split up.

  “Yeah I know. Let’s meet up in that parking lot so we can set this up right.”

  “Okay, see ya in a few.”

  “See ya.”

  He finished his fries and asked for the check, eager to get this done and over with. As he made his way back out to the car, he noticed one of those tourist pamphlet thingies that give a layout of the town, so he grabbed it and continued out the door.  

  Somehow, Katie was waiting for him already when he pulled up, which _what the hell? I was literally right around the corner._ She smiled as she walked towards the Impala. 

  “That was fast,” he commented as she got into the passenger seat.

  “Well, I thought you were coming straight away. Figures you finished your meal first,” she retorted, with just a touch of fake indignation. 

  “You know me, no food left behind.”

  She just shook her head in reply. “So, Cas said cemetery is the way to go then?” And if she was a little jealous that he hadn’t come to her, well, nobody needed to know that. 

  “Looks like it. I found one of those neat little maps of the town, just in case you missed one,” Dean informed her, feeling accomplished that he had managed to think of something she hadn’t. 

  See Dean was more of a doer, while his siblings were more-- well, they were geeky. They usually did the research and came up with a sound plan, while he preferred to execute it. So, it wasn’t often that he got the jump on her, or Sam for that matter, and he tended to bask in it when he did. Not necessarily outwardly, but oh yes he could feel the sweet victory of being awesome warming him right up.

  “Perfect. I was hoping there’d be some around here, easier to organize that way,” she answered. 

  Surprisingly enough, she knew exactly what Dean was doing. He had is “I just did something that nobody else thought of” face on, not that she’d say anything, he just was nowhere near as sneaky with his gloating as he thought he was. _I seriously have lived with this idiot for far too long._ Although if she was honest with herself, she wouldn’t really want it any other way. 

  “Good thing I got it then.”

 _Well, excuse you._ “Mmm,” she conceded with a raised eyebrow, hoping the message of “I see right through you” hit home.  

  Apparently it did, because Dean quickly pulled it out of his jacket and opened it up on the dashboard, with a somewhat sheepish grin. Katie playfully rolled her eyes as she grabbed a pen from the glove compartment and circled the three that she had seen, which hey, apparently she had done a pretty thorough walk-through, because there were no other marked cemeteries on the map.    

  “Well, that’s good at least,” Dean commented after a moment. 

  “Definitely. Why don’t you take the one over here,” she suggested, pointing towards the first circle, which was the farthest from where they were. “I’ll take this one by the park, and then we can meet up at the last one if we have to.” 

  Katie figured the third graveyard was the least likely for any ceremony, considering it was small, and right in the middle of town, which was a bad idea for obvious reasons. Their best bet was more than likely the one she was headed towards, considering it was attached to a park, so there was definitely more privacy. Of course, it was better safe than sorry, so Dean would have to check the other one just in case. 

  “Sounds good. I’ll call you when I know,” he concluded, putting the keys in the ignition.

  He liked having a target, and, he admitted begrudgingly, a plan. Not that he didn’t like plans… he just didn’t like making them. And he _really_ hated witches. There was always something nasty involved when it came to them. So the fact that he was dealing with both had been irritating.

  He heard the passenger door shut, so he turned to face her.

  “Good luck,” Katie said, leaning in the window. 

  “You too,” he answered, shifting the car into gear. He watched as she stood up, waved, and started walking towards the park. He pulled out and drove in the opposite direction.

. . .

  Sam was less than an hour away when Ruby got antsy. “We gotta go faster,” she pointed out somewhat anxiously.

  “If I get pulled over it’ll take even longer,” Sam retorted. It’s not like he didn’t know they were in hurry, he just literally couldn’t go any faster at the moment. “And before you say it, you would not kill the officer, simply because I wouldn’t let you,” he added.

  “Hey, it’s your siblings, not mine,” she quipped, putting her hands up as if she didn’t care, and she probably didn’t, besides the effect it would have on Sam. 

  He gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. “Do we even know where they’ll be once we get there?”

  “If the ritual isn’t already complete, it’ll more than likely be a cemetery.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because that’s where I saw them die,” she answered, wondering, as she occasionally did, how he was considered the smart one. 

  “Okay, did you notice anything else about it? There’s bound to be more than one,” he continued.

 _So maybe there was a reason._ “There were a lot of trees nearby, it seemed kind of secluded,” she answered. 

  The visions she could sometimes conjure were often very hazy, as the future generally was, and small details were hard to see, easily overlooked. It didn’t always help when they needed specifics.

  He nodded, knowing that if there was anything else she would have said it. Which he supposed should be weird, considering the fact that he had never trusted her completely, and still didn’t. He guessed it was because they’d been working together so long, and she appeared to be genuinely trying to help him at the moment, maybe always had been. 

  They obviously had something between them, that much he knew, but it wasn’t something that he cared to define out loud. Inside though, he was curious. They were clearly not friends, it had gone too far for that, and yet they were not “together” in any sense. Some kind of in between state, neither fully trusting the other, although so far they hadn’t given each other a reason not to. 

  It actually thoroughly frustrated him every time he thought of it. So he decided not to. _Better to focus on the task ahead._ He drove on.

. . .

  Dean sighed for the third time in the past hour. It was now closing in on 7:30 and there wasn’t a sign of anyone, just a few trick or treaters walking by. He had thoroughly eyed each of them, just in case the witch decided to go in costume, but not one had even stuck around long enough to do more than look in at the graveyard. He decided it was time to move on. 

  He pulled out his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open. Yes, he still had a flip phone, even though both his brother and sister laughed at him for it, but all he needed it for was to make calls, thank you very much. 

  The date, time, and cheesy background picture that came as a default were all there was to see. No voicemail, missed call, or text message, which meant that Katie was in the same boat as he was, or there was trouble. So he hit the tiny two button and held it, calling his sister quickly.

  It rang. And rang. And rang. He hung up and tried again, which only led to voicemail. “Damnit,” he muttered to himself. _Of course she would’ve gotten the right one._

  Dean threw his phone into the passenger seat and quickly turned the ignition. He double-checked the map to make sure he was going in the right direction, and sped out of there. He wasn’t worried per se, he knew she could take care of herself; he just never could get over the instinct to protect them. It was like an itch he couldn’t scratch until he saw with his own two eyes that they were okay. 

  He slowed down about a block from the cemetery and pulled up as quietly as his baby would allow. There wasn’t much of anything he could see from the street, so he quickly turned off the car, and got his gun ready. 

  He slowly made his way towards the gate, which was open. So far, it was the only sign that someone could possibly be there. There was no sound coming from the cemetery beyond, which made him immediately wary, more so than he already was.

  Dean continued his careful movements through the graveyard, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. _Maybe she lost her phone?_ It wasn’t exactly something she was prone to do, but it was possible. 

  It was then that he noticed a flickering light a few yards ahead of him from an entrance to a mausoleum. It was very faint, more than likely a candle, but it was all he needed. He made his way to the door carefully, not wanting to draw attention to himself. 

  He nearly tripped on something he couldn’t quite see in the doorway. It only took him a second to realize it had been… soft, like a body. _No, no, no not Katie._ His hands shook as he took his phone out and used it as a light. Blonde hair was all that he could see, as the body was face down. _Oh God no._

  It was down though, not in one of those pony tail things Katie always kept hers in when working a case. His unease didn’t let up, but as he flipped the body over he sighed a breath of relief. This was the witch they had been looking for, very obviously dead. _Where the hell was Katie then?_

  The area he had barely stepped into was what he could only describe as a foyer. That probably wasn’t the word because he wasn’t in a house, but it was all he could think of. It led into a hallway, which appeared to take a short turn into a room. The light was coming from that crypt, so Dean made his way towards it. 

  As he walked down the hallway, he noticed little alcoves that held other tombs, which by now he no longer felt bad for disturbing. It was just the way it worked, no matter how unfortunate it was.

  Dean slowed as he came to the corner, not sure exactly what he would find around it. He nodded to himself and turned. 

  Katie was tied to a chair, with a gash on the back of her head. She was slumped forward, very obviously unconscious. _What the-_ There was a sudden, earth-shattering pain at the back of his head, and the world went black. 


	14. ...So I Think We Should Run

  Dean woke to a pounding in his head. _Where am I?_ He looked around, seeing Katie awake in the chair next to him. She nodded to somewhere on the other side of him, indicating that she was okay, and that the answer to his inevitable question was over there.

  She mouthed “Another witch,” before looking up at the witch in question, who was now standing in front of Dean. 

  “Ah, good of you to join us,” the man-witch sneered at him. 

 _Man-witch, there has to be a joke in there somewhere._ He looked to be in his late thirties, and had definitely not been at either crime scene. Meaning basically, they had been played. Dean decided not to answer. 

  “So, let’s get down to business shall we? I was thinking I could use the bitch as a sacrifice for killing my companion, but I think Samhain would much prefer a male vessel,” he grinned, making it very obvious how much he was enjoying this.

  “Oh, and of course, you can be his first kill,” he added, turning to Katie. 

  The witch had turned back towards the altar that he’d created on the casket of some poor guy when Katie decided to speak. 

  “Take me, I’ll be the vessel,” she pleaded.

  “How sweet, but no,” he laughed as he continued whatever he was doing at the makeshift table.

  Dean looked around the room frantically, trying to find something that could help them. He tested the ropes a bit, which didn’t give an inch. His legs had been tied to the chair as well, which would make it nearly impossible to try and stand. _Shit, this is definitely not good._

  He turned to Katie, who was looking at the other man. He noticed a small movement behind her back. As he looked closer, he saw that she was using a- _was that a nail file?_ \- to try and release herself. He only hoped that they would have enough time. 

  She looked back at him and mouthed, “Tattoo,” which _of course why hadn’t he thought of that?_ Neither of them would be vessels unless this guy knew about their tattoos, which he most likely did not. He grinned a bit despite himself, causing Katie to shake her head. 

  She abruptly stopped filing and looked down as the man approached Dean, who defiantly looked right up at him. He pulled something out of his pocket, and put it around Dean’s neck. 

It was a hex bag on a leather string, which Katie wide-eyed when she finally looked back over at him. _I am fucked. So fucked._

  He had a similar expression on his face as he looked back at her, because they both knew there wouldn’t be much time after that. The man started chanting loudly and Katie restarted her attempts at the bindings wildly. 

  All Dean knew was pain then. It was sudden, crippling, and coming right from his stomach. He groaned, and tried to stay upright, but quickly felt his grip on reality slipping. He could vaguely hear Katie telling him to stay with her, intermittedly swearing at the asshole who was doing this to him.   

  He felt something come from his mouth. _Oh blood, great._ It was all he could do to keep his eyes open, when he heard a sudden slam, as if someone had been tackled. All he knew was that the chanting stopped, and he passed out. 

. . .

  Sam spotted the Impala before anything else. “Shit,” he grunted as he pulled up behind it. 

  “We gotta hurry,” Ruby chided, rushing to get out of the truck.

  He mumbled what might’ve been a, “I know, I know,” but she hadn’t been paying attention to hear it. Instead she was pulling out the demon knife and handing it to him. 

  “You’re not coming?” he inquired.

  “Better not, don’t want crazy coming after me,” she answered, with a slight grin on her face.

  Sam took the knife, which he didn’t really need since he had “refueled,” and hid it along his waistband. “Thank you,” he said softly, taking a step closer and kissing her on the cheek.  

  She looked up at him with her eyebrows slightly arched, in what could only be described as uncertainty. They hadn’t done anything like _that_ since Dean had come back, not that she was going to admit that she missed it. (She did.)

  “I should-- probably get going now,” he stammered after a moment. 

  She nodded, still a little taken aback. He nodded too, and quickly made his way into the graveyard, Ruby watching him go. 

. . .

  Dean was dying. Katie was completely sure of that. She rushed to get the rope off of her, filing as fast as her cramped fingers allowed. She looked back at her brother.

  “Dean, you gotta stay with me, okay?” she begged. 

  “Hold on, you’re gonna be fine.”

  She continued with many similar sentiments, all in the hope that she could get this fucking thing undone. And oh if she could just get her hands on that piece of shit, there would be nothing left to find. She grunted with the exertion her hands were feeling, irritated at herself for not being able to get out faster. 

  Panic started to fill her as she watched Dean’s head loll, and all she could do was beg him to keep fighting. She screamed in frustration. The witch turned around and smiled mockingly at her. Tears threatened to spill out, both in anger and in defeat. She wasn’t going to be able to save him, and even as she kept filing away, she knew there was little hope. 

  She looked up again, this time noticing Sam in the doorway. _How the fuck did he get here?_ He tackled the witch, who had still been facing them, and stabbed him before he even touched the ground. 

  “Sam, oh thank God Sam,” she cried, a few tears tripping over her eyelashes and down her face. 

  He looked up at her. “He wasn’t a demon?”

  “Not yet... you saved the seal,” she told him, smiling slightly. 

  He smiled back, even if it was somewhat hesitant. 

  Dean groaned then, snapping them both to reality. The eldest Winchester lifted his head and looked around. “Sam?” he asked, confused.

  “Yeah, I’m here,” he confirmed. 

  “Could you untie us now?” 

  “Oh, of course,” he replied, jumping up and starting on Dean’s. 

  “Thank you,” he mumbled as he stood up on wobbly legs. Sam nodded in response.

  When Katie’s arms were untied, she threw them around her brother. “Thank you so much Sammy,” she whispered. He nodded and pulled back from her to cut the ties on her legs. 

  “How did you know?” she inquired, standing and stretching her small body.

  “Well, uh-” he hesitated, not exactly sure how to tell her.

  “Ruby?” she asked neutrally, which made him more than a little nervous. 

  “Yes,” he affirmed, not looking her in the eye.

  She cupped his chin and gently guided his gaze to hers. “Then tell her I said thank you,” she replied, with a surety that erased all the doubt he had. 

  Sam felt his eyes widen and his mouth open a bit. _She wasn’t pissed?_ Katie smiled a bit and moved her hand so she could slowly shut his mouth. She tapped him on the cheek and turned back to Dean, who had decided to sit back down. 

  “Thought I’d lost you there for a second,” she confessed.

  He looked up at her. “Can’t get rid of me that easy,” he grinned. She grinned back. 

  “We should probably get out of here, see if Cas has any news,” she suggested, sounding calm and casual, but Dean knew better. He nodded and stood, looping his arms around Katie’s and Sam’s shoulders. 

  “News on what?” Sam asked.

 _Oh..._ she had completely forgotten that he didn’t know about her predicament with Heaven, so she kept quiet, hoping Dean would get the drift and explain. 

  Luckily, he did. “Well-- Katie got into some trouble with Uriel and he decided to go and see if they could get rid of her,” he explained simply. 

  “What the hell did you do?” he exclaimed, looking over at his sister.

  “I spat in his face after telling him to shut the fuck up.”

  Sam stopped mid stride. “You _what_?”

  She looked up at him sheepishly. “I know, it was stupid,” she agreed. 

  He stared at her for a second and starting walking again. “That was a lot more than just stupid,” he chided. 

  “She did have a reason,” Dean clarified. _Not necessarily the best reason, but hey who am I to talk?_ “Uriel was breathing down Cas’s neck, she was just trying to give him a break,” he continued, noticing how his sister was staring straight ahead, refusing to catch anyone’s eye. 

  It was weird, knowing now that she had a connection to the angel, one that led her to do something incredibly stupid in order to ease some of his discomfort. She hadn’t even thought it was reciprocated, by the way their conversation with Cas had gone the other day. Dean was glad to know that it was. He also decided then that he would have Cas tell her soon, she deserved to know.

  Before Sam could say anything, Katie spoke up, “I’m sure it’ll be fine, especially since this seal didn’t fall.”

 _So that was why she had been so emotional back there. Not only had he saved their lives and the seal, but he also might have saved her from Heaven._ It made Sam smile a bit, he had done exactly what he had come out here to do, regain their trust and show them that he could be relied on. 

  They continued walking. When they got to the Impala, they helped Dean into the passenger seat. He was still weak enough that Katie decided to drive him back to the motel.

  “I’ll just follow behind you if that’s okay?” Sam asked, albeit a little nervously.

  “Of course,” she answered, openly staring at him for a moment. “I’m sorry Sam, I’m sorry we left you behind. It’s obvious that the three of us work better together. I hope you don’t hate me for it,” she rambled, clearly anxious herself. 

  “I deserved much worse after everything I’ve done, especially to you. I knew that from the moment you left. I’m just glad to be back,” he clarified, smiling when she did. 

  “Can we get going now? I’m hungry,” Dean whined from the car, earning him two looks that said “You are the biggest baby I’ve ever met.” _Whatever, they weren’t almost sacrificed, so they don’t get to judge._  

  Katie shook her head. “Fine you child.” 

  She walked around to the drivers seat and got in, putting her hand out expectantly. Dean placed the keys in her palm and she quickly turned the engine on. When she heard the truck behind her rumble to life, she shifted into gear and pulled out into the street. _Everything was going to be just fine._

. . .

  Katie was in the middle of handing out food when Cas appeared right beside her, making her jump. Before she could even say “shit” she felt something that could only mean he had bad news. She turned to him slowly, and if she was shaking a little bit, nobody really needed to know. 

  “We need to hurry,” Cas urged.

  “Wha-,” Dean started. 

  “She needs to leave now. After Sam saved that seal, Michael decided Uriel was right, Katie was not the “youngest Winchester.” However, he wants to know how she _does_ fit into this, and we do _not_ want them taking her,” Cas interrupted. Three shocked faces looked back at him. 

  “Dean, do you remember that sigil I showed you, the one to banish me?” he asked, realizing this would be a lot for them to take in at the moment. Dean nodded. “Then you know what you have to do. Katie,” he continued, turning to her, “You need to leave. Do not make contact with either of them, or Bobby. I will come to you when I can.”

  She stared back at him. Her heart sank as she realized that she had officially lost all of them in one shot. But they would figure something out right? They always did. So she nodded, and started towards the door. 

  An arm grabbed her and she turned to face him. “I am truly sorry,” the angel confessed. Of course she knew that already. So she nodded again. “I have to do something that will... hide you from angels.”

  She looked up, confused. “Including you?” 

  “Possibly.” He confirmed as he put his hand to her ribs.

  “Ahhh,” she gasped, not ready for the sharp pain that coursed through her ribcage.

  He caught her eyes for a moment, moving some of his grace and letting his emotions flow clearly through the bond they shared. Her mouth formed a small o as she looked back. Then she touched his arm and walked out the door. 

  Cas looked over at Dean, who was finishing up the marking. “Make sure she is gone quickly, and do _not_ talk to her in anyway unless I say so,” he cautioned. 

  “Okay,” Dean answered quietly. 

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I know,” he sighed, putting his hand to the middle of the sigil. With a bright white flash the angel was gone, along with any others that might have been in the immediate area. 

  He looked over at Sam then, who looked completely beside himself. “I caused this?” he half asked, half stated.

  “Not your fault,” he responded, making his way towards the door. He signaled for his brother to follow. 

  Katie looked on the verge of tears. He didn’t blame her for that. She shut the trunk to the Impala, duffel bag in hand. 

  “Take the truck,” Sam offered.

  She looked up, eyes watering but not yet spilling over. “Thank you,” she whispered, catching the keys when he tossed them. 

  She walked over to it and put her bag in the passengers seat. As she made her way back around to the drivers side, she was intercepted by Dean. 

  “It’ll be okay, we’ll figure this out,” he reassured her. He embraced her then, tucking her into himself as best he could, simply because he wasn’t sure when he’d see her again. When he pulled back her tears had escaped and she quickly brushed them away. 

  “I’m sorry, I was only trying to help,” Sam urged from behind Dean. She took a step towards him, her eyebrows furrowed together.

  “Don’t think this is your fault,” she pleaded, “It’s mine, completely.” He quickly covered the space between them and held her close. Katie let herself pretend for a second that she wasn’t leaving, but ultimately knew she had to. 

  She stepped away from Sam and looked at them both. “I’m sorry. I hope I see you soon,” she cried softly. She retreated and opened up the truck door.

  “Take care of yourself, you hear me?” Dean stressed as she turned the key in the ignition.

  She faced them and smiled slightly. “I’ll do my best.” Katie took one last look at her brothers, and then took off as fast as she could.  

  They watched silently as the little red truck disappeared into the night. Dean very suddenly turned back around and stomped into the motel room, forcibly knocking over a lamp in the process. Sam heard a few choice curses come from within, but he ignored them for his own thoughts. Dean’s phone ringing pulled him from them, and he wandered back in as Dean said “Hello?”

  “Uh yeah Bobby, we are. Why?”

  “Okay, see ya in a few,” Dean replied after a moment. 

  Sam looked at his older brother questioningly. He shrugged in response and went back outside again. This time Sam followed immediately. 

  They stood in silence again, waiting for the wrong someone to arrive. It was hard for Sam to not desperately wish it was Katie instead of Bobby who would be pulling in. He had only just gotten her back. Although maybe Bobby could help them, maybe even help Cas in his cover story. 

  As a pair of headlights appeared on the road and turned into the parking lot, both brothers mentally prepared themselves to be able to talk calmly, especially Dean. He had struggled on the phone, because all he really wanted to do was scream at the top of his lungs. Not that anyone would blame him for it, of course, but Bobby wouldn’t have known the reason right then, and it could’ve caused temporary problems. Dean took a deep breath as his father-figure got out of the truck. 

  “Heya Bobby, how’d you find us?” he asked as normally as his voice would allow.

  Bobby seemed to have noticed the difference anyway, judging by the look of mild curiosity that crept onto his face as Dean spoke. He looked over at Sam for a beat and then answered, “I texted Katie this morning asking where you guys were, and seeing as this is the cheapest motel in the area, I figured you’d be here.” When both brothers flinched at her name, Bobby’s look turned to one of concern. Before he was able to ask what had happened though, Sam spoke up. 

  “So you followed me,” he accused, not quite able to keep as composed as he had hoped.       

  Bobby looked taken a back. “Can you blame me son? You were actin strange last night, and I wanted to make sure you were alright,” he retorted, although there wasn’t much heat behind it. He had known damn well that Sam wasn’t going to be pleased with the knowledge. 

  “Doesn’t matter now, you missed the show anyways,” Dean interrupted quietly. Sam seemed to deflate at the words, which instantly put Bobby back on alert.  

  “What happened?” he asked, a knot growing in his stomach.  

  “She’s gone,” Dean answered. It was a simple, quiet thing, but the thoughts it caused to  race through Bobby’s head were quite the opposite.

  Sam noticed his eyes grow wide with fear and decided to help the old man out. “The angels are after her. It’s a long story, why don’t you come inside?” he asked softly.

  He nodded, and the three of them walked back into the motel room and shut the door.


	15. Empty Room, I'm Empty Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some time jumps that occur in this chapter (no worries, they're written in there.) Also, fun fact: this chapter was really hard to write because I felt so bad for everyone involved. *Ominous note is ominous.* Enjoy <3

  It had been two weeks since she’d left. Two weeks of searching for something that could help them. Two weeks holed up at Bobby’s, constantly on the lookout for any sign of her. Cas had come and gone a few times, but never with any news to tell. He was still being watched by Uriel, so he had made no attempts to contact her. The only thing he could ever say was that she was alive, because he was certain he would feel it if she-- wasn’t anymore.

  Dean was frustrated. By all of it. The fact that Cas had been ordered to search for her in between dealing with his charges didn’t make him feel any better. There could come a time where the angels found her, and Cas wouldn't be able to protect her because Uriel was there.  

  He took another sip of his coffee and stared blearily across the table at Sam. He didn’t look good either. Kept claiming that if he hadn’t interfered there wouldn’t be a problem. _Except for the fact that instead of on the run, Katie and I would be dead._ Sam either refused to catch his eye, or was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice. Neither heard Bobby come into the kitchen.

  “Mornin’ idjits,” he muttered on his way to the coffeepot. Which was empty, irritating the older man immensely.

  “At least put more coffee on if you’re going to finish it all, you ingrates,” he snapped. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t taking all this that well either, could anyone really blame him?

  “Sorry Bobby,” Dean mumbled from the table, getting up and getting the blue coffee can out. 

  He spoke something under his breath that Dean couldn’t quite decipher as he left the room.

  He dumped the coffee into the new filter he had placed in, and faintly heard the phone ring in the library. There was the gruff sound of Bobby’s voice answering it, then silence, then Bobby, then he was hanging it up and walking back towards the kitchen. 

  “I’ve got a case for you two, ‘bout three towns over. Looks like a regular salt and burn,” he announced once he was standing by the entranceway.

  They both nodded, Sam finally looking up from his cup. 

  Bobby just shook his head and muttered something that sounded like “get them to stop moping around my goddamn house,” as he walked back out, but Dean wasn’t entirely sure. He turned to Sam instead. 

  “You okay to do this?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I’ll be alright,” he answered, nodding his head slightly.

  “Good.” Lately that was as close as Dean could come to talking about his feelings, or anyone else's. He felt emotionally spent, hollowed a bit by everything that had taken place. He hit the button on the coffee maker and went upstairs.

. . .

  The ghost had been even easier than Bobby had thought, which left the Winchesters with just a two day distraction. They drove back with only the sound of Led Zeppelin in the background. 

  When they were about five minutes from Bobby’s, Sam reached over and turned the music down, sufficiently breaking Dean’s reverie. He started to speak, but Dean noticed him hesitate, so he spoke instead. “Sam?” 

  “I-- I think maybe we should keep hunting,” he admitted after a moment. 

  Dean wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about that. Sure, finding something that could help their sister was proving difficult... elusive, but that didn’t mean they should give up, right? At the same point, focusing on the ghost had been much more-- satisfying than hopelessly staring at the places she had once occupied, constantly mocking them. Maybe Sam was right, maybe they should leave Bobby to figure this one out, because they were sure as shit too close to this one. 

  “You might be right on that one Sammy,” he finally conceded after a few minutes of tense silence. Sam visibly relaxed, as if prepared for a fight, which immediately made Dean feel like a bit of a dick. He sighed. “It’s just-- it’s too much,” he added.

  Sam nodded in response. Not that it was an easy decision, and he did feel really guilty, but they had tried for two weeks. Two weeks of desperately searching, and coming up with nothing. It took a toll, knowing that there was nothing they could do for her at the moment. 

  He had become increasingly discouraged since Cas had told them he was unsure of what to do. Everything was apparently in a delicate balance, and if they did anything to disrupt it, the world could end. For now they would just have to live with the fact that Bobby would figure something out, and that she could take care of herself. 

  Although recently, there had been talk among hunters of creatures becoming less quiet, more bold, and that honestly scared Sam. He had a feeling this Eve chick was most likely behind it, and it terrified him that Katie was out there alone. More than likely she was hunting, although apparently she kept low key enough that Bobby hadn’t been able to pick up a trail yet. He supposed that was good, but there was definitely a storm on the horizon, and he couldn’t stand the thought of her being caught in the middle when it hit.  

  
. . .

  “Figured something like this was coming,” Bobby acknowledged from where he was seated behind his desk.

  “We just need to be doing something, and with the angels not using us at the moment, we think hunting is the best solution,” Sam explained, there was an unspoken _maybe we can find a trace of her_ in there somewhere, but they all pointedly ignored it. 

  Bobby nodded, “I know son, I think it’s a good idea too. From what I’ve gathered, there’s something strange goin’ on out there, so it’s best you two get on it. I’ll do what I can from here,” he agreed.  

  “Thanks Bobby,” Dean spoke up for the first time since they’d gotten back. He still wasn’t sure they’d made the right decision, but it was good to know that Bobby felt the same. And they all knew he was more than capable of finding the information, _if_ there was any to find. The if is what scared him though. 

  Bobby nodded. “Why don’t you boys take one more day here, and then head out tomorrow morning?” he suggested. 

  “Sounds good, thanks again,” Sam answered. He stood and went upstairs. Dean stayed where he was.

  “What’s on your mind son?” Bobby inquired.

  “You sure this is the right thing to do?” Dean asked tentatively. 

  Bobby sighed. “Not entirely. But this seems like the best option in my opinion. There’s a great deal of people who need help, so instead of all three of us focusing on your sister, I think our _only_ option is to leave me to do it,” he replied truthfully.

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Dean sighed as he stood up. He clapped his hand on the older man’s shoulder as he walked into the kitchen where Sam’s laptop was sitting. _Might as well find a direction to actually go in._ He grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and sat down to do just that. 

. . .

  Sam decided to get some fresh air.  He was getting restless, the need to be doing something, anything really, made his legs itch and his skin feel like it was two sizes too small. 

  He grabbed his coat and stepped out into the chilly evening air. Although they were well on their way to winter, they had somehow missed snow so far. He was grateful for that as he picked his way through the maze of rusted out cars to the dirt road that was waiting on the other side. 

  On the way, he thought about many things. He thought about how oddly quiet the angels had been recently, thought about his sister and where she could possibly be and Ruby, who he hadn’t seen since the graveyard. He even thought about the past. 

  Everything in his life had been so easy once, well as easy as a Winchester’s life could be. He had escaped hunting, and his father. In the process he had managed to lose Dean, but Katie had kept in touch somewhat. He had found Jess, and was going to being a lawyer. 

 _Where had it all gone wrong?_ He supposed that there was never really a way out for him, or any of them, and that had been his undoing. Heaven and Hell alike knew the Winchester name now, so there was no going back. 

  He snorted out loud in spite of himself and continued walking. A few minutes later there was the random snap of a twig that announced there was somebody behind him, and if he had come out in the hopes she’d be here, he hadn’t let himself know. He spun around just in case. 

  “Easy tiger, it’s just me,” Ruby affirmed. 

  Sam nodded. “We’re heading out tomorrow,” he informed her after a moment or two of not completely comfortable silence.

  She looked mildly surprised. “Given up already?” 

  He sighed. “We’re getting nowhere, and you know as well as I do that things are getting weird out there,” he acknowledged, subtly admitting that he was giving up for now, and that he was ashamed of it. Ruby caught on.

  She took a step forward and put her hand gently on his arm, and when he didn’t flinch she got a little closer and looked up at him. “I’m sure she’s okay,” she said softly. 

  Sam looked away. “And what if she’s not?” 

  “Then there’s nothing you could’ve done at this point,” she reassured, moving until he was forced to look at her. “You think the angel would let her die?” she added after a moment.

  “No, but then they’d have her. Either way, we lose,” he snapped, pulling his arm from her grasp. 

 _So the anger inside of him was still raging_ , Ruby mused to herself. There was a part of her that desperately wanted to ease the tension out of those long limbs, take part of the burden for him, but she knew that there was job at hand, and that required this fury. She longed to erase the part that hated herself for what she had done, and was doing to Sam, because she needed total focus if she was going to get this right. 

  She pushed her internal argument to the side. “We need to pick the trail back up on Lilith,” she announced, taking a step away from any feelings she might have for him. 

  “What good will that do now?” he pointed out.

  “If we kill her, it’s all over. No more seals breaking, no more angels hanging around,” she revealed. It was something she had alluded to in the past, but hadn’t ever actually told him. 

  “She’s behind all of this?,” Sam raged. 

  “If what I’ve found is correct, which it is,” she affirmed. 

  He seemed to take a second to process that. When he finally did look up, there was a fire burning behind his eyes that she had hoped would be there. “What do we do?” he demanded.

  “For now, you do nothing. I’ll be in touch when I have a solid lead,” she instructed, turning around the way she had come. She was stopped halfway by a hand gripping her arm tightly. 

  “This must be kept secret,” he almost growled at her. His tone rattled her more than she’d like to admit, but she kept her composure.

  “Of course,” she grinned.          

. . .

  They were on the road by seven the next morning, with the promise that if Bobby heard anything, he would call them immediately. Sam had seemed even more confident in their decision this morning than he had so far, so Dean decided this could only be a good thing.

  “Hello,” came a gruff voice from the backseat. 

  The Impala swerved into the other lane a little before Dean was able to correct it. “Shit Cas-- stop doing that,” he swore, gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter. 

  “My apologies, but I do not see how I can appear without startling you,” Cas replied, getting a huff of laughter from Sam.

  Dean smacked his brother on the arm just for the thought and then turned his sights on Cas, via the rearview mirror. “You didn’t _startle_ me, flyboy.”

  The angel’s eyes narrowed as he looked back. “I elicited a reaction, if you were not startled, then what were you?” he asked.

  Sam actually laughed this time. “Don’t listen to him Cas, you startled him. He’s just a jackass,” he explained. 

  Dean huffed and grumbled about stupid brothers or something like that, but promptly decided to change the topic. “Is there something you needed?” he inquired, turning his attention to the angel in the back seat. 

  “Not particularly. Trying to find your sister while simultaneously trying to not find her is-- tiring. I assumed you could appreciate that,” he answered, after taking a breath that almost sounded like a sigh. 

  “So you know where she is then?” Dean asked, sounding way more hopeful than he had wanted to. 

  “No. Once or twice I felt like we might have been close, but when I returned later on my own, the feeling was gone,” he replied, voice tinged with the disappointment Dean now felt. 

  “Guess that’s a good thing,” Sam pointed out, evidently noticing the tension coming from his brother. 

  “Yes, she’s done a good job at covering her tracks,” Cas agreed. 

  Dean supposed it was a good thing too, even if he despised it at the same time. That long familiar urge to protect was making itself known, and it would’ve been comforting to at least know where she was.

  He shook his head, as if that would get rid of his thoughts. “So you’re telling me-- you came here to hang out?”

  Cas looked around a bit. “If you meant I decided to take a break from Uriel’s insufferable attitude, then yes, I am here to “hang out”,” he clarified.

  Dean smiled a bit and nodded his head, “Can’t say I blame you on that one.” He turned up the music and drove on. 

. . .

  The next two months were spent fighting monsters, occasionally helping with a seal, and intermittedly worrying about Katie. It passed faster than Dean would’ve thought. Until one morning he sat down and realized he hadn’t seen or heard from his sister in about two and half months. Bobby had no word, and still all Cas could say was that she was alive. 

  Guilt passed over him quickly, because to be honest, he hadn’t even realized how much time had passed. He pulled out his phone and pressed the number four button, Bobby’s number showing up on the screen.

  “Hello?” Bobby’s voice rang.

  “Heya Bobby, I was wondering if you’d heard anything,” he explained, quickly cutting to the chase. 

  “Sorry boy, I haven’t. I do have something that I was going to call you about though,” he informed Dean. “There’s been people goin’ missing in Milton, Oklahoma. No signs of break in, just gone. I think you two should look into it,” he added after a beat. 

  Dean sighed. _Of course there was nothing on her._ “Alright, thanks Bobby, we’ll head out soon, probably get there by late tonight if we’re lucky,” he responded as if on auto pilot.

  “Sorry kid.”

  “Yeah, me too,” he agreed as he hit the red “end call” button. 

  He stood up from the table and made his way towards Sam, who was still dead asleep in his bed. As he got closer he grew more confused. He could’ve sworn that last night Sam had taken a shower and gone to sleep in a pair of sweatpants, but at the moment he had a plaid flannel and jeans on, not to mention his boots were right next to the bed. 

  “Sam, time to get up,” he chided, giving his brother a good shake. 

  There was a mutter of something unintelligible as Sam rolled over and pulled the pillow farther under his head. Dean rolled his eyes. 

  “Come on sleeping beauty,” he cringed inwardly at the fact that he had always said that to Katie. He pushed the thought aside in favor of focusing on the task at hand. 

  “Wakey wakey,” he added, this time forcefully shoving Sam into consciousness.

  He sat up slowly and looked over at Dean through hooded eyes. “What time is it?” he mumbled through a yawn. 

  “Bout eight,” Dean answered, allowing his brother to take his time waking up. He walked back over to the table and took another sip of his coffee. When Sam had finally managed to get out of bed he spoke again, “We need to leave soon, Bobby’s sending us to Oklahoma.”

  Sam continued walking towards the table, apparently ignoring Dean for now. Only once he had a coffee in his hand and had taken a few sips of the warm liquid did he even look up at his older brother. “What is it this time?” he mumbled drowsily. 

  “People going missing, no signs of break in. Could be demon activity,” he explained. Sam was generally an early bird, hell he was usually the one waking Dean up, so this was weird behavior on his part. “I’m guessing you didn’t sleep well?” he asked after a minute.

  “Nope, my brain just kept going. Went for a walk to try and tire it out, but it took a while,” Sam responded from behind his cup. 

  Dean felt some of the uneasiness he hadn’t even really known was there, disappear. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Sam, because he did, and he had forgiven him whole heartedly, but there was something he couldn’t quite put his finger on that made him wary. Maybe it was just the fact that there was an empty seat in the Impala that had once been filled, but he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that Sam was up to something. 

  For now though, he saw no reason to bring it up. It was something he would look at objectively, until it either faded away, or was proved right. There was no need to start a problem where there very well might not be one. _Damn, I’m going soft._

  They were in the car thirty minutes later, on their way to Milton, Oklahoma. A city they would come to hate in just a day’s time.


	16. It's Been Hell Not Having You Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is super loooong. And happy. But also very sad. And what's coming makes me sadder.

  It was nearing one in the morning when they finally reached the city limits of Milton. It wasn’t all that much of a city, Dean thought to himself, more like an oversized town. _That’s Oklahoma for ya I guess._ He drove around a bit until they found a motel that suited their needs, both of them weary from a long day on the road. After getting the key to Room 22, they drove around to the other side of the somewhat run-down establishment. 

  Dean parked the Impala two spots to the left from their door, like they usually did. It was more of a safety precaution than anything, and now more of a habit. Originally, it was in case anything decided they were too much of a threat, poking around as they do, and came looking for them. It would get the wrong room, and they’d more than likely hear the commotion fast enough to react to it. The trick had only ever been needed once or twice, when they were much younger, and it had worked well, so they continued to do it. 

  He opened up his door and made his way to the trunk, reaching in and grabbing his duffel. When Sam didn’t appear next to him, he peeked around the edge of the car to find his brother fully upright, staring at something else. Dean followed his line of sight, and promptly dropped his bag when he spotted a little red pick up truck two spots down. _It couldn’t be._

  “Dean,” Sam muttered from where he stood, eyes still fixed on the truck.

  “I see it,” he answered, equally as awestruck. 

  There’s no way in Hell they managed to actually find her, especially without meaning to. And yet... there was every possibility that it was her. Dean felt hope spark in his chest, and he quickly tried to put it out. There was no use letting it grow, because in his life miracles were few and far between, if they really existed at all. 

  Sam made his way to the door that happened to be right next to theirs, because if it was her, she’d be there, exactly two spots to the right of the vehicle. Dean slowly stepped around the Impala, and then quickly hurried to join him when Sam raised his hand to knock. Both brothers held their breath as they waited, each unable to hear anything besides the pounding of their hearts. 

  When the door did slowly creak open, they were surprised by what they saw, as was the occupant.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Katie slurred from the doorway. Dean and Sam both exchanged glances at the obvious stench of alcohol that came off her. 

  After the initial shock wore off, she opened the door the rest of the way, allowing them to see all of her... which was just as out of place as the alcohol had been. Her hair was down and messy like someone had been running their hands through it, her jeans tight and shirt small, makeup thickly covering her usually clear face. What really killed Dean was the obvious weight loss and dull look in her eyes, she looked like someone who was... well-- _hunted_. He couldn’t help but wince inwardly.

  Sam stepped forward, wrapping his long arms around her, which caused another voice to come from inside the room. “What the hell is going on?” an undeniably _male_ voice asked from within. 

  Before Dean could respond, Sam had pushed his way past Katie and was now staring down the man, who looked to be about six foot, and not the type of person they would ever want hanging around their sister. “I suggest you leave,” Sam answered, more menacing than Dean had ever heard him be. 

  “And why the fuck should I do that?” came the gruff reply. 

  Dean quickly stepped forward alongside Sam, getting his first real view of the man. _Seriously? What in the ever loving fuck was she doing with this guy?_ “Because we could take you down easier then eating pie Chuckles,” he threatened.

  That seemed to pull Katie from her drunken daze. “Leave him alone,” she grumbled, almost unintelligibly, as she stumbled past them, putting herself between her brothers and the man whose name she couldn’t quite remember. 

  Dean looked at her for a moment, and then noticed that there was only one bed in the room. While it had been obvious what was going on here, that particular confirmation made him see red. “Look dickwad, it’s time for you to go. Our sister has _clearly_ had a few too many.” Dean made sure to look the intruder up and down at the word clearly, knowing he had gotten his point across when the asshole grabbed his shoes and stomped out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

  What he hadn’t been expecting was turning around to find a very pissed off Katie in his face. “What the fuck did you have to go and do that for?” she yelled, her tongue still heavy with alcohol. 

  “Did you even look at that guy? Or know his name?” he retorted.

  “Oh that’s adorable coming from you. But wait, I almost forgot, Dean Winchester can do whatever the fuck he wants, not Katie though, she’s got to be perfect,” she ranted, stumbling back from him and eventually sitting on the bed. 

  Dean turned to Sam, who appeared equally surprised at the outburst. “Katie, you know that’s not true. We were just trying to look out for you,” Sam insisted as soothingly as possible. 

  “Oh were you now?” she snapped back immediately, “So when you leave in a few minutes, I’ll be fine alone right? I mean come on, it’s not like I need human contact ever. Or someone to make me forget for a while.” By the end she had quieted, and was looking down at her hands, which were cradled in her lap. 

  Dean suddenly remembered a time when their Dad had forgotten her birthday when she was little. She hadn’t cried, but instead had sat in the corner by herself, unresponsive to everything he had tried to do to get her out of it. It was one of the things he just couldn’t fix, like right now. There was nothing he could do. And it physically hurt him to see her like that. So instead of saying a word, because there were truly none he could say, he took the few steps to the bed and clung to her like she was a life jacket and he was a drowning man. She stiffened at first, like a frightened animal, but he quickly felt her loosen and return it fiercely. When he finally let go, Sam did the same. 

  “So, I see you’ve been having a good time,” Dean started after a moment or two. 

  There was a small bite of laughter from her that quickly turned into a hiccup. “Alcohol helps more than I thought,” she stated in between each intake of air. 

  Dean grinned a little bitterly. “I hear ya there,” he answered honestly. 

  The room went awkwardly silent, aside from the occasional hiccup, everyone unsure of where to go from there. She was clearly still very inebriated, and they didn’t want to leave her, but were afraid of what the consequences might be if they stayed. Katie, on the other hand, was wide-eyed and solemn, so Dean made an executive decision. 

  “Cas, if you could possibly get here alone, it would be great,” he drawled, looking up at the ceiling like he would actually be able to see him. 

  Not two seconds passed before there was a whooshing sound behind him. Katie toppled over and off the bed from jumping so hard. He would’ve laughed if he hadn’t realized it was because she was no longer accustomed to having them around. 

  “Katie?” Cas asked cautiously, stepping around Dean to get a better look.

  She tilted her head up from where she now sat on the floor. Instead of answering, she staggered to her feet, and plopped unceremoniously back onto the bed.

  “You look... different,” he observed. 

  She laughed humorlessly. “It’s called make up.”

  He stared at her for a beat before continuing. “I like you better without it. And I think we both know that’s not what I was referring to,” the angel contested.

  She shrugged in reply, looking down at an invisible speck on her jeans, clearly unable to keep his gaze any longer. 

 _Why won’t she look at me?_ On the outside Castiel kept a cool demeanor, but on the inside he was racing around, searching for answers. There was no doubt in his mind that she had suffered in her time away, that much was painfully obvious, but what could he possibly do to rectify that? 

  “Would you mind sobering her up?” Dean asked after a minute.

  Cas nodded, sufficiently shaken from his thoughts, and stepped towards her, two fingers raised. When he was a foot from her head, she smacked his arm out of the way, scrambling farther up the bed. “Fuck that, it’s the only way I’m gonna get to sleep tonight. Keep your goddamn mojo away from me,” she slurred as she went.

  The angel tried to cover his surprise, but she felt it anyway. She determinedly ignored it. No use getting used to feeling him there when he was just going to have to leave. “You should all go. I’m uh-- almost done with a case, no need to get caught by the God squad now,” she added.

  The three sober beings in the room exchanged frowns, each silently agreeing that they shouldn’t leave. Castiel sat on the edge of the bed and lifted his fingers again.

  “I said fuck off,” she shouted. A part of him felt bad for ignoring her, but he put his hand to her forehead anyway, immediately settling her into a better sleep than her body had seen since she had left. He sighed.

  “Do you think we could stay with her until the end of this case?” Sam asked eagerly. 

  “I believe I could get you a couple days. She obviously needs it,” Cas replied, his hand still laying gently on her forehead. 

  “Seriously? Dude, that’s the best news I’ve heard in months,” Dean grinned, clapping a hand on the angel’s shoulder. 

  “I only wish that I could stay myself. It seems I have... missed her,” he admitted. “Anyway,” Cas continued, shaking himself mentally, “apologize on my account if she is still angry in the morning. And I hope you enjoy your time together.” He stood and nodded at both brothers before disappearing to who-the-fuck-knows-where. 

  “Was it just me, or was he acting really weird?” Dean asked, turning to look at Sam, confusion plastered on his face.

  “Well, I mean, they were getting pretty close there for a while, maybe he just didn’t realize,” Sam remarked, shrugging as he did so. 

  “Yeah I guess so. I think he was more shocked about her being on an extended bender than we were too.”

  “Well, he hasn’t had to put up with you for his entire life, so yeah I would say you’re right,” Sam agreed, amusement clear in his tone. 

  “Ha ha ha, good one,” he deadpanned. “Anyway, you think she’s here for the same reason as us?” 

  He looked down at the heap of limbs that was his sister. She looked peaceful, almost happy in her slumber, which lightened a load he had not realized he’d been carrying. It hit him then; that she was actually there, alive and mostly well; that the unbelievable had actually happened. 

  He smiled despite himself, catching a similar reaction on Sam’s face. For once, just this one time, everything seemed to be okay. Yeah, they might have to leave in a few days, but it would renew the hope Dean hadn’t realized he’d lost. The hope that they would find a way out of this. 

  The sound of Sam clearing his throat startled Dean out of his thoughts. He looked over at his brother expectantly, nodding slightly in an effort to get him to continue. 

  “As I was saying, I think it would be safe to say that we’re after the same thing here,” he stopped abruptly when he realized Dean was no longer listening... again. 

  His brother had sat down on the bed, eyes fixed on Katie. There was a slight smile on his face, an aura of warmth and hope coming from him that made Sam’s smile grow. In all honesty, he looked like a father, a protector who had one of his most precious items returned to him. The thought made Sam alternately happy and disgusted. Not at Dean, but at John. John had pushed his brother to become this, always put too much on his shoulders, made him a parent at the young age of six. He felt some of that ever present fury rise up, but he quickly expelled it, content with Dean’s contentedness. 

  “We should probably get some sleep,” he pointed out, hating to interrupt the intimate moment, but knowing they were both bone tired. 

  Dean barely reacted, didn’t even look away from the bed. “I think I’m going to stay here, there’s more than enough room,” he answered. 

  Sam may have quirked an eyebrow in response, but decided not to push it. “Okay, see ya in the morning then,” he acquiesced, quietly making his way towards the door. As he closed it he caught one last glimpse of Dean sighing, his body releasing a tension he had been unaware of. One corner of his mouth upturned as he shut it completely and turned towards their room. 

. . .

  Dean woke abruptly to somebody screaming his name. At first he had no idea where he was, and for a second he panicked, thinking he was still in Hell. Realization quickly dawned on him though, and he started to gently shake his sister, who was thrashing next to him.

 _This is way more violent than any of the others ever where._ The thought worried him. “Katie,” he whispered softly, “it’s okay, I’m here. Wake up.”

  She jolted up, knocking him off in the process. Her skin was heated and damp, and her throat felt dry. She rolled out of bed silently and went into the bathroom without a word. Dean heard the sink turn on a few moments later.

  It was odd that she hadn’t said anything to him. There was something noticeably different about her. She was- harder than she was before. He supposed she had to be to keep going. From what she had said last night, he assumed the last two and a half months hadn’t been easy. 

  When she stalked back out into the room, she apologized quietly. “Sorry to wake you. Didn’t realize you were still here.”

  “Nah, it’s fine. Cas managed to get us a couple days with you and... well, I didn’t want to leave you alone last night,” he admitted softly, which yes he still knew how to do. He hadn’t miss the way her eyes had brightened slightly right around the time the words “a couple of days” came out of his mouth either. 

  She sat down on the edge of the bed and turned the lamp on, immediately illuminating the dingy room. She sighed and put her head in her hands, waiting for the inevitable question from her brother. It took exactly seven seconds for it to come.

  “So-- what was that about?” he asked.

  She sighed again, “Hell.” 

  There, she’d said it. Without looking, she knew Dean had cringed and was likely staring at her with his mouth gaping open. Actually she could now feel his gaze on her, like laser beams into the back of her head.

  “Again? Does it happen-- a lot?” he resumed his interrogation. 

  “No, this is the first time since the car,” Katie answered honestly. She turned to her brother, who was lost in thought, and practically heard the gears whirring in that head of his. She smiled faintly at him, realizing how many little things she’d missed. 

  She also knew that there was something off about the timing of the dreams. _Why would it only happen when they were around?_ She thought maybe her subconscious was creating the images, but it still didn’t explain the pure _feeling_ of the place. It felt unbelievably real. And why would her subconscious make Cas a big pretty ball of light? She supposed it didn’t really matter at the moment, because when she looked back up at Dean, he didn’t looked overly worried or upset, just well- somewhat _relieved._

  “What?” she squawked somewhat self-consciously.

  His eyes regained focus on her then, and his slight smile turned sheepish. “It’s-- uh-- just nice to have you back,” he allowed. 

  She flashed a small grin in return. _Dean might just be the actual most emotionally retarded person I’ve ever met._ “How’ve you guys been?” she inquired.

  “We’ve been alright. It’s been-- quiet without you,” he confessed. 

  “You can say that again. Hell, I almost miss you singing off-key ACDC, or complaining about what Sam eats, anything to just stop the silence,” she babbled a bit. She was well aware that Dean looked thoroughly upset at the last part, but she kept her tone light, in hopes that he would realize she had accepted it.     

  Apparently he did. “Off-key my ass. I’ll have you know, if I wasn’t such a damn good hunter, I’d be a rock star. Everybody says so, you’re obviously just jealous.”

  She never thought she’d admit this, even to herself, but _thank the lord for Dean’s evasion skills._ “Dream big Dean, dream big,” she retorted, laughing at the indignant huff she got in return.

  There was a light knock on the door then, so Katie got up to answer it. She wasn’t surprised to see Sam through the eyehole with-- was that breakfast? To be honest, she’d been forgoing the meal to stay in bed longer. It was probably the only perk of not having her brothers around, she got to work her own hours, which meant none of this getting up at six or seven am crap. 

  She unceremoniously opened the door, letting both the bright light of early morning and the hulking figure of Sam into the room. “Good morning,” he beamed, wrapping the arm that had the bag of food in it around her. 

  “Mornin’” she grumbled back. There was nothing _good_ about mornings in general, so she never bothered to add that part. 

  He grinned and continued into the room, setting down the tray of coffees and brown paper bag of goodies onto the rickety wooden table that stood across from the bed. She slowly shut the door behind him and turned to survey the shitty motel room she had paid for three nights ago. It looked much better now. 

. . .

  “So, I really need to ask this, how the hell did you manage to stay that far off the radar?” Sam asked as he scooped another mouthful of an egg white omelet with veggies into his mouth.

  “I think it was a combination of things. For one, if I heard another hunter was in town, I flew out of there ASAP. And I haven’t exactly been acting like the mild-mannered littlest Winchester, have I? Anyone who’s been keeping an eye out for me only has Bobby’s description, and I don’t really fit that bill anymore,” she explained. 

  Dean felt a surge of pride at her being to able to hide from _Bobby_ of all people, but it quickly tapered off into a wave of irritation. He wanted her the way she had been before, not what he had seen last night.

  He bit his lip, trying not to say what his mind was urging him to, but in the end, it won. “And exactly what the fuck has happened to you?” he spat out, somewhat against his will. _Why did it always have to win?_

  The sharp look she shot him, combined with the kick he received under the table from Sam made him wish he hadn’t said it, but not nearly as much as her words did. 

  “Oh hey, remember that time where I could only sleep when the angel poofed away all the bad dreams about my dead sibling and boyfriend? Or maybe the time I had to leave the only family I’ve ever had behind, after being slammed in the face with the fact that I’m _not a Winchester_ and never will be?” she began, with a dark sneer on her face. “Or how about that it’s hard to be a single woman hunter? On top of monsters, I’ve got to force men off me wherever the hell I go. Should I continue?” she finished, her voice beyond any level of threatening Dean had ever heard in it. 

  She was breathing a little harder than usual, her chest rising up and down somewhat quickly as he took in her flushed face and clenched fists. He didn’t even think before he shot back, “So you gave into their advances?”

  And that’s what did it. She was on her feet before he’d even realized what was happening, a fist flying into his face moments later. It connected with a dull crunch and sent him reeling backwards, just barely catching the table before he fell over completely. 

  Before she could do anymore damage, Sam had gotten a hold of her and was gently steering her towards the bathroom, muttering something about how a shower would make her feel better. 

  Dean put his hand to his face and discovered that there was blood coming from his nose. _Well, you fucked this one up good, didn’t you?_ From the look Sam was giving him when he looked up, he agreed. 

  “She said she doesn’t want to see you for a while,” he confided as he sat back down in front of his now cold omelette and coffee. 

  Dean didn’t answer, just grabbed the napkins from within the paper bag and held them up to his nose. 

  “What possessed you to do that?” Sam asked indignantly a minute later. 

  He sighed deeply. “I don’t fucking know. I just-- didn’t think” Which was kind of his MO, so none of them should really be that surprised.

  Sam’s resulting chuckle was humorless. He shook his floppy head slightly before speaking again. “We couldn’t even have one nice day,” he sighed, mostly to himself. He turned to his brother then, knowing that what he was about to say would be mostly pointless. “You could try apologizing.”

  Dean wanted to, he really did. Hell, he’d apologized to her for less, but this was different. He _meant_ everything he’d said. Granted, the timing and delivery were both piss poor, but he couldn’t stand what he’d been seeing. And yes he definitely hadn’t taken into account how skittish she is, and how having them suddenly here must have been jolting, but he couldn’t apologize for feeling what he felt. So he simply shot Sam a look and put his hand out expectantly.

  Sam shook his head again, shoulders slumping a bit, and handed Dean the keys for next door. 

  
    . . .

  Katie laughed, the faint glow of the television lighting her face up in a nice way. Sam looked at her, noting that for the first time since they’d gotten here, she looked completely at ease. And she should be, because all they’d done so far is spend over seven hours in front of the crappy t.v. set the motel provided. Not that he was complaining, but the case was going to need their attention sooner or later. 

  As if she read his thoughts, she turned to him and explained. “All the missing persons were patrons of a local bar. I’m pretty close to pinpointing who the demon is at this point, but it will take another night or two to finish. Basically we have nothing to do until tonight. And, no I did not read your mind, weirdo, you’re just getting really fidgety.” She smiled at the last part, sticking her tongue out in the process. 

  “Wow-- you do pretty well on your own don’t you?” he asked, inwardly hitting himself in the face for the lack of tact on that one. 

  The smile fell away, but in it’s place was not what he’d been expecting. She appeared slightly bitter, but not angry or upset. “It’s okay Sam, I know you meant it as a compliment. But you’re right, I do work well alone... as a hunter. As a person, however, well I’m sure Dean can fill you in on that one.” 

  Sam gave her a look of understanding. Dean could be the most frustrating human being on the planet. He was stubborn, rude, and a complete asshole when he wanted to be. It was at stark contrast with the great person he actually is, buried though it normally was. 

  “You should’ve seen him once you were asleep last night,” at the face she gave him, he stopped and restarted, “No, it’s not what you think. He literally ignored every word I said and just-- watched you, with this weird sloppily happy face. I actually hope to never see it again, but he missed you, like a lot.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yup. I almost took a picture, but I figured if he ever found it, he would retaliate in the form of bodily harm,” Sam deadpanned. Although he had been completely serious, and Katie knew it, she laughed. He shot her bitchface #13, which only served to make her laugh harder. 

. . .

  There was a loud knocking on the door, along with a muffled, “You done in there yet?” Katie was preparing to tell Sam that he sounded like Dean when she realized it _was_ Dean. 

  “Uh, yeah one second,” she shouted back. _He better be here to apologize._

  She finished applying the mascara to her now darkened eyelashes, and took a good look at herself. She had always felt that she was moderately attractive, but her recent dabbles into make up made her feel differently. When she wanted to put in the effort, she was downright _hot._ Her baby blues now looked deep and sultry, and her normally straight blonde hair was tousled and wild. She grinned at her reflection, and opened the door to the bathroom. 

  “What in the name of God are you wearing?” Dean asked indignantly as she made her way into the room. 

  She whipped around to face him. “Don’t you even start with me Dean Winchester. I am 25 years old, and I will wear what I want. Besides, this is the type of outfit I’ve been wearing for the past two nights at the bar, I can’t just suddenly change,” she snapped, plopping down on the bed when he didn’t immediately answer her. 

  “Well I’m not going with you looking like that,” he replied, with an air of finality. 

  “I honestly wasn’t planning on you going anyway,” she sneered, really starting to get pissed off. 

  It wasn’t like she didn’t know what she looked like, but in order to get what she needed for this case, she’d used-- other avenues of data collection. Ones _Dean_ never had any problems using in the past. She was just about to tell him all that when she realized the door was slamming behind him. 

  The flinch that passed through her body was one she had no control over, nor the frustrated tears that welled behind her eyes. She flung the remote across the room, just barely missing Sam as he walked in.    

  It didn’t even seem to phase him. “So, just you and me tonight?”

  “Looks like it,” she grunted.

  “Wanna talk about it?”

  “No.”

  She heard a sigh and when she looked up, Sam was looking at her like she was supposed to be the bigger person here and they both knew it. She opted to ignore it and put on the pair of high heels she had found at the Good Will three days earlier.

  There was another sigh, this one longer and more exaggerated. “One more sound out of you, and I will stab you with my shoe,” she threatened.

  “You know who you’re acting like don’t you?” he pointed out, definitely _not_ moving away from her reach. Okay, so maybe he was, but could you blame him?

  Instead of using bitter sarcasm and more threatening language like she wanted to, she sighed herself, looking down at her hands. When she looked back up, her face was softer. “Sam, I’m not doing anything wrong here. I have nothing to apologize for-- but when we get back later tonight I’ll talk to him. Okay?” 

  He smiled at her. “Don’t tell Dean this, but sometimes I see you as the oldest sibling,” he chuckled. Though it wasn’t true, and both of them knew it. Dean had always been a good, protective big brother. He was just a little-- immature at times.

  “We all know he’s just an oversized child when it comes to stuff like this. Not to mention he still sees the both of us as toddlers,” she replied. The more she thought about that last part, the more she knew it to be true. Which meant that this whole thing must’ve been a big shock to him, which she admits makes her feel a little less angry. 

  “That was the understatement of the year,” Sam muttered before closing the distance between them. He held his hand out expectantly, and once her hand was in his, he lightly pulled her from her sitting position.

  “Thanks,” she said as she stood.

  “Don’t mention it.”

  “Guess it’s time to go?”

  “Guess so.”


	17. Baby You're Going Down in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song in the middle is called "Down in the Dark" by Nirvana (Originally by Mark Lanegan)
> 
> Okay, so this chapter is painful, along with the next few. Like literally painful. It hurts me to write it. Enjoy <3

  Katie pulled into the dirt and gravel parking lot outside of the bar, which appeared pretty packed for a Sunday night. She turned the truck off and faced Sam. “So here’s the plan. I’m going to sit at the bar, wait for my few final suspects, and chat them up. You are going to sit in a corner, and make sure everything doesn’t go to hell. Sound good?” she instructed as she checked herself one last time in the mirror. 

  Again, Sam was somewhat shocked at just how _good_ at this she was. Not that she hadn’t been before, but he had never really seen her-- take charge like this. “Yeah, sounds good,” he replied. “Just be careful.”

  “I don’t think I would’ve made it this long if I hadn’t been,” she pointed out, opening up her door and sliding out gracefully.

  He shrugged in response, because _well, she does have a point,_ and followed suit. 

  Sam waited back in the parking lot as she walked into Smith’s Bar and Tavern, the loud music and smoke wafting out behind her. He checked his watch, waited exactly 45 seconds, and then slowly made his way to the bar, making sure to get a seat in a corner that gave a wide view of the room. _Here we go._  

. . .

  Dean took another long draught of his beer as he flipped through the channels. It was a Sunday, so of course there was nothing much on. He ended up settling for some football game he honestly couldn’t have given a crap about. He sighed to himself and leaned back against the wall, ignoring the lumps of the bed beneath him. 

  He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what had happened earlier that day. _Yeah that’s because you’re an ass who can’t keep his damn mouth shut,_ he thought bitterly. Even the thought of how hurt she had been made him want to punch himself in the face. It actually made him happy that she had done it herself. 

  All that had really mattered to him was that she was safe, which is why he still didn’t understand his need to speak up. It could’ve waited until they were together again for good, but that apparently would’ve been too easy. He sighed again and guessed there was nothing to be done now. So instead he took another gulp of beer and watched a shitty football game. 

. . . 

  From Sam’s vantage point, he could see a couple crowded into a booth, ferociously making out like nobody could see them. He could see a young kid hustling pool from a group of stuffy business types, and he could see his sister flirting unabashedly with a tall, dark-haired man. He looked to be in his mid-thirties, which was a little old for Katie normally, but he was more than likely a suspect, so he supposed it didn’t matter. 

  He watched his sister laugh at something, spilling her drink a little sloppily. Sam of course, knew that she was not drunk, in fact she had only drank one beer so far. _There must be some reason she’s playing it up for this guy._ Sam made sure to look away from the pair every so often, not wanting to be noticed. 

  He was pretty sure with how long he’d been at it (seriously it’s been like two hours now), he could have given a somewhat accurate description of each patron’s life. For instance, that kid hustling pool, he was definitely starving, and more than likely trying to feed more than just himself. He wasn’t half bad either. If Sam hadn’t been trying to stay out of sight, he would have been tempted to show the kid better technique. Instead, he averted his eyes and swept the room again.

  Honestly, the only two in the room he couldn’t read were Katie and the possible demon-- man-- thing. _Wow that was a Dean thing to think--_ he chuckled a bit despite himself. 

  Just as he was stretching his sore body out, there was a vibration from his pocket, indicating he had a text message. When he pulled it out, he was alarmed to find that it was from Katie. _When the hell had she sent that?_ He unlocked his phone and quickly read it.

**Fr: Katie**

**U & D need to leave NOW**

  Unease settled in Sam’s gut as he looked up to where she was sitting. There was nothing visibly different about her, no tense shoulders or ticking jaw, which he admits to himself is impressive. He makes no movement to leave though, because there’s no way that could mean anything good. Instead, he lifts the phone to his ear in order to call his older brother. He’s so distracted waiting for Dean to pick up that he almost misses them leaving the bar, but luckily catches it just in time. 

  Dean picks up right as he’s slamming the door to the little red pick up shut, quickly following the black sedan into the dark night. 

. . .

  She laughed obnoxiously, purposely copying all the women she’d seen Dean with throughout her life. It seemed to work, if the charmed smile that spread across the man’s face was anything to go by. She smiled back, when in all actuality she wanted to sigh. She was fairly sure this wasn’t her guy, he was just too... nice. 

  “So, Katie, tell me more about yourself. Maybe you could start with your family,” he requested, although she had barely heard a word.

  Her heart had stopped the moment he had said her name. She hadn’t given it to him. Luckily, she had been about to take another sip of her drink, so she managed to hide her shock in the glass as she downed about half of it in one go. 

  She set it back on the bar carefully and looked over at him with what she hoped was a drunk expression. “Parents are dead, and I had to leave my two brothers a while ago,” she slurred.

  His expression didn’t change, but there seemed to be an air of excitement around the man now. As if-- he’d found what he’d been looking for. A feeling of dread filled her stomach as she thought about what that might be. 

  “Why did you have to leave?” he asked after she had drained her beer and ordered another. 

  She scoffed, which only seemed to make him more interested. Instead of prodding though, he waited patiently for her to answer. She turned to him with half-lidded eyes, and leaned forward, nearly falling into his lap. “The angels are after me,” she admitted, making sure her words were somewhat garbled. 

  His eyebrows raised as he heard it, and she suddenly wished she hadn’t let that part slip. But-- she had wanted him to think that she was drunk enough to not know what was going on, so she supposed it had to be done. What was really bothering her was the way he had asked about her family... it had seemed like he already knew the answer. _Maybe it’s not me he’s looking for._ The thought made her entire body feel cold. 

  “Would you like to get out of here?” he asked after a moment.

  She looked up at him through her lashes and answered with a sloppy smile, “Sure, could you just order me a shot of whiskey first?”

  “Of course,” he grinned, and she couldn’t help but think how charismatic this demon was. _No wonder there was no sign of forced entry, he probably charmed his way in._

  As he turned away to order the drink, she quickly snatched her phone from her front pocket and typed out a quick text to Sam. She slid it back in just as he was turning back around.

  “One whiskey, on me,” he announced, handing the shot glass to her.

  “Thank you sweetheart,” she crooned, smiling brightly, even while her insides squirmed in repulsion. Sometimes it bothered her how well she could lie, but tonight she was undeniably grateful. No doubt the instant he realized she knew what he was, there would be trouble. _Better to get Dean and Sam far away from this mess before then._ And without another thought, she dropped back the shot, enjoying the warm liquid that chased a bit of the ice cold dread in her chest away.

  He grabbed the small coat she had brought with her and draped it over her shoulders. “What a gentleman,” she praised, giggling as she did so. She stood then, careful to stumble a little bit as she did. He chuckled lightly and held a hand to the small of her back, gently leading her towards the door. She didn’t dare look back, if only to keep him from noticing Sam.   

. . .

  “What’s going on?” Dean asked as he scrambled to find his boots. 

  “She was talking with some guy, then I got a text message from her. She said that you and I have to leave right now. And then she left with him,” Sam answered rapidly, the sounds of the truck rumbling in the background.

  “Can you see them?” 

  “Yeah, I got ‘em. But Dean I’m not sure where they’re headed yet. You’re going to have to wait until I get there,” he hesitated, knowing his brother was not going to like that one bit. “Do you at least know the direction?” Dean asked as calmly as he could.

  “Uh-- they’re heading farther into town I guess. Look Dean- I’ll call you back as soon as possible,” he concluded, hanging up quickly afterword.

  The violent spark of anger that coursed through Dean almost surprised him. He threw his phone at the bed and clenched his fists, swallowing the urge to yell and smash and break. He took a few deep breaths that didn’t seem to do much, closing his eyes and willing himself to calm. He had a job to do. 

  When he opened his eyes, there was a fierce determination behind them, although there was no one present to see it. He gathered up his gear, coat, and cell phone from the bed, took one last deep breath, and hurried out to the Impala. 

. . .

  The psycho even held open the door for her. She smiled up at him again as she clambered into the passenger seat, thankful that she had been drunk most nights since she’d left her brothers. 

  She looked over as the man slid into the car and turned on the engine. He grinned in a way that she had found nice only half an hour ago, and now only found sickening. 

  “Do you mind if I turn on some music?” he asked politely, side-glancing her as he put the sedan into reverse and smoothly pulled out of the parking lot. 

  “Whatever you’d like,” she responded.

  He chuckled for no apparent reason, perhaps some inside joke, which only served to send a shiver down her spine. _Yeah, this is definitely bad._ She watched intently as he turned on the stereo, immediately turning it to a cd. 

  She had not been expecting to hear the first chords of a Nirvana disc, but there it was. It seemed to be a set of rare recordings and largely unknown songs. He let a live version of “Heart-Shaped Box” play out before skipping a few tracks. She didn’t recognize the song as the opening notes started, and once the words began to come from the speakers, she hoped to never again. 

 

Baby you're going Down in the Dark

Show my lonely night is fallen and I don't have very long

Think I might of broke my boil

Within my face might burn

You're gonna make it better for a little while

 

Baby you're gonna die someday

See you in your crowded wasted, then you start to fade

That when we start singing faster

I wouldn't wait so long

Won't get any easier in the Dark

 

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeahh

You Will, You Will, You Will.... 

 

  Every instinct she had told her to get the hell out of there, but what could she do now? She needed to know why he was interested in her brothers, and if that meant getting her ass kicked, well it was worth it. And then it hit her. She was going to have to call Cas once she figured it out. It wouldn’t end well for her, but at least they could do something about the demon before it decided to strike.

  The driver’s side door slamming shut startled Katie from her thoughts. She quickly composed herself as he walked around to her side of the car and opened the door. She stepped out and swayed on her feet, giving her a good view of where they were.      

  “This isn’t a motel,” she observed questioningly, looking around at the warehouses that surrounded her. _Always fucking warehouses._

  Instead of answering her, he laughed again, as if there was something she wasn’t getting. Which seemed appropriate, because she had no idea what he was going to do. He turned and stared at her for a moment, grin still in place, and then started, “You’re much more beautiful than Dean had me believe.”

 _So this is how it’s going to be._ She dropped the farce immediately, body tensed for a fight, face gleaming with determination, eyes on fire. “How the fuck do you know Dean’s name, or mine for that matter?” she spat.

  “Ah, you caught that little slip-up back there? Smart as he thought I guess,” he remarked off-handedly before continuing, “Does that mean you were lying about them being here?” He was pacing now, trying to read her, or so she imagined.

  “No. I’ve been alone for almost three months now,” she lied.

  His eyes seem to spark at that. “How unfortunate for you. Dean always did take your and Sam’s deaths the hardest,” he sighed, as if she knew what the fuck was going on.

  “What are you talking about?” she demanded. The knot that had been in her chest since the bar was slowly tightening, threatening to choke her. 

  “Of course, how could I forget, Dean would never actually _tell_ you about Hell,” he mused, slowing his pace to a stop. He turned towards her, “Silly me. Anyway, I used to make him watch me torture everyone he’s ever cared about, eventually killing them. He always took yours and Sam’s the hardest though. So I already know how he’s going to react.” By the end of his explanation, he was standing directly in front of her, keeping her between him and the car. 

  “Ah- ah- ah,” he tsked, putting his finger to her mouth as she tried to speak. “Call the angels and see what happens. I know more about them than you think,” he added, looking truly menacing as she felt her last bit of hope slip away.

  She heard the door to the warehouse directly behind the demon open up, two more males coming out and taking each of her arms. “Get the fuck off me,” she growled as she struggled against them, managing to knock one in the ribs. 

  He straightened up and strengthened his grip on her, as she continued to flail in an attempt to get loose. The loud snap of her left arm, the white hot flash of pain, and the scream that she realized was her own were the only things that finally stopped her. As she stilled, she looked over to where the demon held her arm, where he had snapped it like it was nothing. It now hung limply in his grasp, and she quickly looked away.

  “You scream even more prettily than I’d imagined,” the man from the bar crooned. He wrapped his fingers tightly around her chin and forced her to look up at him. 

  Instead of silently taking it like her brain was telling her to, she pulled away, with as much strength as she could, screaming, “Don’t touch me--”

  She was interrupted by a sharp slap across the face. “Feisty-- I like that,” he commented as he slowly brought his hand from her reddened cheek to her throat. He stroked the pulse point for a moment, almost like a lover would, which made her shiver unpleasantly. He smiled wickedly as he wrapped his hand around her throat and squeezed. 

  She gasped, not completely unprepared for it, but surprised all the same. He stepped in even closer to her, leaning forward until his lips brushed her ear. “You’re going to die here you know. Tell me, how does that make you feel?”

  Katie was struggling to breathe. His grip had only gotten tighter since he’d started speaking. She forced herself to get enough air, breathing as deeply as she could. “As long as they’re nowhere near here, I’m fine dying right this second,” she choked out, meaning every single word.       

  He laughed again, the smell of sulfur invading her senses. “We wouldn’t want that,” he taunted, stepping back as he spoke. “We’re going to have a little fun until they get here, and then you will die.” 

  He released her neck and watched, bemused, as she took in as much air as she could. He motioned towards the open warehouse, the demons on either side of her nodding in response, and half-dragging her into it. After passing through a small hallway, they brought her into a large storage room with high ceilings and few windows. 

  “But first, we have to make a call, don’t we?” he continued, digging into her front pocket and procuring her cell, quickly dialing the contact labelled “Sam”.

 


	18. No Longer the Lost, No Longer the Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whew! It's been awhile, but hopefully this makes up for it!

  Sam flinched as he heard his sister’s scream pierce the night. While he had wanted to get down there as soon as he pulled up, they needed to get some idea of what they were up against. Plus, he really needed to wait for Dean. So far, he had counted three demons, which could prove difficult now that Katie was definitely injured.

  Sam clenched the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. _He’s choking my sister._ Just as his resolve was breaking, two things happened. First, the demon released her and had his men start dragging her away, and second, somebody tapped on the driver’s side window.

  He jumped and whipped his head around to find Dean, staring hard, his green eyes burning with a fury that matched Sam’s own. He gestured for his brother to get into the truck, which Dean obliged quickly.

  “What happened?” he growled.

  “They just took her inside,” Sam answered as evenly as he could, as if this were any other case. _Ha_.

  “They?”

  “There were two other demons, wouldn’t be surprised if there are more,” he reflected. Dean nodded and looked out the front windshield. His mind whirred in an attempt to figure out what to do. He kept trying to calm himself, act like this was a normal hunt, but he was failing. Miserably. All he could think about was how he had treated her and if something happened... No, he wasn’t going to think about that.

  “Dean?” Sam started, knowingly pulling his brother from his dark thoughts. Dean turned and looked at him as if to go on. He sighed, “Once we get in there, Katie’s not going to be of much help.”

  “And why is that Sam?” he asked, the menace thick and clear in his voice.

  “I think they broke her arm.”

  While Dean hadn’t yet spoken a word, it was clear as to what his thoughts were. For they were Sam’s own. The demon who had done it would die tonight. But before anything else could be done, Sam felt his phone vibrating against his leg. After scrambling to pull it out of his pocket, he was dismayed to find that the screen read “Katie”. He tentatively looked up at Dean before answering it and putting it on speaker.

  “Hello? Katie?” his voice rang out, somehow much calmer than his shaking hand suggested.

  “No, sorry. She is here though, if you’d like to speak to her,” an unfamiliar voice answered. Before either could make a sound, they heard Katie’s voice, which was hoarse and rushed. “Don’t listen to him and wha-,” she was cut off by a loud slapping noise, followed by the sound of something hitting the ground. Both brothers sprang forward in their seats, as if they could see- and more importantly do something about- what was going on.

  “You keep your filthy hands off of her, or so help me God,” Dean threatened.

  “Ah, I see big brother’s there too, good good. You have 24 hours to get to Milton, Oklahoma, otherwise she’s dead. Oh and Dean? God’s not going to help you here, so you can bet your pretty little head my filthy hands are going to be all over her,” he concluded, kicking out at the body on the floor. The yelp and resounding groan were all that Sam and Dean heard as the phone clicked off.

  “We’re going in now,” Dean commanded as he moved to open the truck’s door, not missing a beat. His skin was crawling in a way that it never had before, his vision covered in red. The urge to break and ruin was bubbling up and he was ready to unleash it.

  A hand on his arm stopped him. “Dean we can’t. She clearly thought it was a bad idea for us to be around. We have to have a plan before barging in there,” Sam reasoned, trying to make his brother think with a clear head, which he was finding hard to do himself.

  Dean violently shrugged the hand away from him, growling out a simple “No,” as he did so. _Like fucking hell I’m waiting while he tortures her_. He got out of the truck and made his way back to the Impala. He sifted through the various weapons that were hidden in the trunk until he pulled out the Colt, noting that there were only three bullets left. This prompted him to grab holy water and a shotgun filled with salt rounds. Dean was unsurprised when Sam appeared next to him, continuing to speak. Instead of acknowledging it, he continued to prepare. After he had gotten all he would be able to carry, he shut the trunk and made sure the Colt was ready to be shot.

  In a final attempt to stop his brother, Sam stepped in front of Dean and put a hand on the old gun. “I really think we should-”

  “Sam, I don’t care what you think. I am not going to sit by while she is in there with him. You may be able to do that, but I can’t. So either get your stuff or get the fuck out of my way,” he growled, knocking Sam’s hand from the gun.

  Sam just stared for a moment, shell-shocked. He didn’t want to let Dean go by himself, but he needed more time. Time to think and clear his head about this. Before he could make a decision though, Dean took off towards the warehouse, not even bothering to look back. Sam felt a jolt of unease spread through his body, _This is not going to end well_.

. . .

  Making sure to keep complete silence, Dean slowly opened the warehouse door. There was no one nearby as far as he could tell, which meant there was likely only a few demons here, possibly only the ones that Sam had seen. Dean liked those odds.

  Once in the hallway, he crept towards the faint voices he could hear echoing from far away on his right. They were broken by a number of screams that shook Dean to his very core, and he gripped the Colt tighter each time, promising vengeance for every mark they put upon her. As he neared the end of the hallway, he slowed and tried to relax himself. _Breathe, that’s all you gotta do, just breathe. They’re not going to kill her yet_.

  His thoughts were broken by a voice. “They’re not going to come.” He was surprised to hear it was Katie’s voice speaking. His brow scrunched in confusion, and he strained to hear what would come next.

  “And why is that?” the cold voice from the phone answered.

  Dean strained to get a look at the situation. From where he now was, he could see a dark-haired man gripping Katie’s hair, forcing her to look up at him. There were two other demons on either side of her, and from the looks of it, she had taken a serious beating in the short time she’d been there. Her face was cut and bruised to the point where it was difficult to see anything that wasn’t covered in blood. Her arm appeared to be broken as it hung limply from her side. And from the way her body was slumped, he assumed there was more that he couldn’t see too. Dean gritted his teeth, but ultimately waited to strike. He would not jeopardize her life any further. He simply had to wait for the opportune moment, he kept telling himself.

  He flinched when he heard his sister’s pained voice start again. “Because I told them to stay away before we left the bar,” she grated out. Dean looked a little closer and saw the marks around her neck, which explained the sound of her voice. He became so enraged at the sight that he had to physically force himself to stay put.

  As if feeling Dean’s rage, the demon grabbed onto her throat again, clasping tightly. “You’re a sneaky bitch, aren’t you?” he mused, not entirely as angry as his words suggested he was. “I guess you are smarter than I gave you credit for... but do you really think Dean’s going to let you die my dear?”

  She didn’t dignify him with an answer. “Why don’t you just kill me then, you scared of what might happen if you do?” she gasped out with as much venom as she could muster. Dean was almost proud of how tough she was, at least he would’ve been if he wasn’t terrified for her life.

  Katie continued to stare the demon down, her gaze never flickering as if she was challenging him to do it. That seemed to irritate him more. Before Dean knew what was happening, his sister was being lifted by her throat. The noises that came from her were the stuff of his nightmares, but he still held back. He watched as the man nodded to one of his comrades, who promptly stepped forward, took a hold of her leg, and snapped it with his inhuman strength. Her scream filled the warehouse, and the demon got a bullet in between the eyes for his trouble. As the burnt out shell of a human dropped to the ground, Dean aimed and shot the other one as well. Even in such a blind fury he was a damn good shot, which only served to feed the flame that was raging in him.

. . .

  Katie heard the first gunshot and felt her heart sink. _Of course they didn’t stay away_. She looked at the demon before her, and felt sickened as his expression turned to one of glee. He smiled wickedly at her as the other demon fell to the ground. “See, I told you he wouldn’t be able to resist,” he mocked, bringing his opposite hand to her face and stroking it softly.

  “Let go of her dickbag,” Dean growled, stepping forward from the shadows. His gun was trained on the demon, but his eyes were on his sister. She looked at him with all the terror she felt, urging Dean to get out while he still could. She knew, of course, that it was now too late for that though.

  Time seemed to slow as the three of them stood at an impasse, nobody moving in the thick tension that filled the room. What must’ve only been a handful of seconds felt like years to her. And then it all sped up. The hand that had been stroking her face was suddenly racing towards her abdomen. And the demon winked at her as he shoved a long, thin knife hilt-deep into her body.

  It burned. Her entire being burned with the wrongness of it. Before he had even removed the blade she knew it was a lethal hit. Demons like him didn’t miss. He was well-practiced and now she would be useless to Dean. _Dean_. He was all that mattered now. She had to get him out of here, and yet even as she thought it she knew there was nothing she could do. Adrenaline rushed into her body anew as she fought to stay calm.

. . .

  Dean watched with horror as Katie’s face turned to one of shock, a small “o” forming right before pain took over. The demon dropped her to the floor and Dean lost it. He screamed with rage and charged the bastard at a full run. His entire body screamed with him as his urge to break this demon with his bare hands took over. All he wanted was to rip and tear and ruin; these thoughts consumed him.

  “How good it is to see you again, Dean,” the demon commented as he gracefully side-stepped out of the way.

  Dean turned back around to face the smug demon. _But- again? Who...? Oh God. Not him, anyone but him._ Apparently recognition crossed his face, because the demon’s smile widened. “Oh yes, it’s me. And look what I did! It’s so much more fun on Earth!”

  Before Dean could feel himself shattering, there was a flutter of wings that signaled the arrival of Castiel and Uriel. “Cas!” he called out quickly, “you gotta get to Katie.”

  The angel nodded and took a step towards her form on the floor. A sense of relief overcame Dean, because if Cas was here than everything would be okay, it had to be. And in that moment of weakness, the demon grabbed a hold of him, thoroughly driving away most of the hope he had just recovered.

  “If you heal her, I will kill the Righteous Man and drag him back to Hell with me,” the demon spat at Castiel, sneering as he did so. Cas stopped in his tracks, aided by Uriel’s hand on his trench coat. Dean felt his heart sink. He wanted to scream “Let him,” but he doubted it would make a difference. They both looked to Katie as a wet, coughing noise came from her. They watched as she struggled to get her head to the side, so as not to asphyxiate on the blood that now came sputtering up.

 

  “It’s okay, it’ll be okay. Just do as he says,” she managed to choke out after a moment. There was a small pool of blood starting to form around her as she looked between her brother and her friend.

  Dean felt his stomach threaten to revolt against him. He looked around desperately for anything that could help. What he found were Cas’s eyes filled with... _fear, Cas is scared_. He assumed his own eyes matched that of his friends, but found no comfort in it.

  Without any warning, there was a flash of bright light as a fourth demon banished the angels from the warehouse. The image of Cas reaching towards his sister was burned onto his retina in the seconds following and any sense of hope that had remained scattered as the light dimmed, and he watched with dismay as Katie’s left her too.

  The demon simply laughed. “So Dean, did you miss me?” he whispered from behind the human.

  “Alistair?” Dean asked slowly, the name alone making his insides squirm.

  “Ah good, you do remember. Do you also remember all the things we did together?” The cold voice sent shivers down his spine, while the flashes of pain and darkness that his memory provided threatened to cripple him. Before Dean could answer though, he continued, “And look, I made one of our fantasies a reality!”

  This was a nightmare, not a fantasy. And yet it was not so long ago that he had nearly forgotten the look of Katie’s face and the warmth of her presence. Maybe he deserved this. Maybe this was the price he had to pay for what he had done. But why should she have to suffer for him? _Hadn’t she suffered enough_?

  Alistair stripped Dean of every weapon he had on him, and then simply dropped him. As he pulled himself up onto his knees, he watched the demon walk over to his sister and drag her back towards him. The pain that crossed her face killed him, and if this had been any other demon he might have tried something, but to be honest he was terrified. The look of excitement on Alistair’s face scared him even more and he prayed to God to let her live. It was then that he remembered God had abandoned them, and his heart felt like it turned to stone.

  “Should we play?” Alistair chirped, sounding like a toddler who had just gotten a new toy. “Tell her all about what you did down there before she dies? I think it would be fun Dean, don’t you?” He pulled her even closer to Dean, close enough that he could touch her if Alistair let him.

  The demon turned now to Katie, “Did you know he broke? After 30 years of holding out against me, he finally said yes. Do you know what that means? It means he spent 10 years torturing souls. Can you believe it?” he taunted.

  Dean didn’t, couldn’t look up at her. He had been her superman, and he had failed her. The only look that he would receive would be one of disgust, and he would deserve it. He told himself this over and over, not realizing that Katie was looking at him with sadness and sympathy, not hatred.

  It wasn’t until she held her hand out to him that he noticed, and once he looked up, he felt even worse. _I don’t deserve her forgiveness_. And yet, as she rasped, “It’s okay,” over and over, he felt it warm his bones. His entire being was filled with her love, and he felt redeemed. _She will not die here, not like this_.


	19. Stop Pretending You're Still Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So uh, it's been over a year since I last posted. I realize that makes me officially the worst. BUT LOOK, A NEW CHAPTER HAS ARISEN. ANNDDD I've written out a bunch more, that needs to actually be typed up and sorted out. So, over all good news :) 
> 
> Also, I realize where I left off on the last chapter was a v fuckin rude spot to leave off. Wish I could say this one stops in a better spot (it 100% does not).
> 
> I'm also still editing earlier chapters to make it smooth from here on out, now that I am GRADUATED (fuckin weird), I only have work to get in the way of writing. Hopefully that means I'll be able to get on a better schedule with this :)
> 
> Lastly, I'm just really, really sorry for this.

  Cold laughter broke the moment, “Ah that is funny. Somewhat unexpected, but funny.” Alistair paused, looking back towards Katie. “You do realize that nothing is going to be okay, don’t you?” his tone matched the sneer on his face.

  She didn’t grace him with a response. Instead she kept her eyes fixed on Dean, who finally allowed himself to grasp her hand. In the back of his mind, he was surprised Alistair was letting this happen. Instead of focusing on it though, he continued to hold her gaze. Her breathing was definitely becoming an issue, and the trickle of blood coming from her mouth was growing. Dean had to think of something, anything, to get her out of here.

  From the corner of his eye, Dean saw Alistair nod to the demon who had banished Cas. _This is my only chance_. Katie gave a slight nod in recognition. He gently put her hand down and scrambled to his feet. Before he could even think of going at Alistair, he was slammed into the wall across the room by some invisible force. _Fucking demons_.

  Dean grunted as his body connected with the wood, effectively breaking at least one panel to reveal the drywall behind it. He swore he heard a broken “Dean” from Katie, but quickly lost sense of everything as he felt Alistair’s foot connecting with his body over and over again.

  Adrenaline surged through him, refocusing Dean’s senses as it overloaded his system. He felt the sharp pains that each kick ensured, heard the mocking words from above him, but most importantly, he saw Katie. He put all his attention on her, anchoring himself in order to stay conscious. He would not leave her alone with Alistair again.

  There were a few stray tears on her face, and her arm still reached toward where he had been. Dean watched as her thin frame was jarred by a sudden fit of strained coughing, which left more blood on her pale face. _She never deserved this_. He silently cursed the day John Winchester had found her and taken her in. _She could be normal and... safe_. Nothing good ever came from associating with a Winchester, and this just proved it further.

  Maybe his eyes had started to glaze over, or perhaps Alistair had realized Dean was not even deigning to look at him, because suddenly Dean was pulled upright until he was standing and slapped sharply across the face. “Pay attention Dean, I’m trying to talk to you,” the demon snarled.

  “No,” he panted out. Dean looked up at Alistair, expecting to see more anger. Instead, he saw a smile playing at the edge of the asshole’s expression.

  “Well, I can see you’re a bit distracted,” he started, nodding towards Katie, “Perhaps we should wait until she’s dead, that way you can keep your eyes on me.”

  _No_. Instead of saying it this time, Dean bucked his head forward, wildly trying to connect with any part of the demon. There was a somewhat satisfying _crunch_ that let him know he had succeeded.

  Alistair growled like the feral animal he was. And even though Dean had been expecting it, the onslaught that was unleashed on him was almost more than he could bare. He felt numb each time the fist came into view again, and he quickly realized there was blood streaming in rivulets down his face. Dean looked past him again, and thought he could see Katie trying to move, but could hear nothing beyond his bones snapping.

  He did, however, manage to notice Sam come up from behind the lesser demon and slit his throat with... _is that Ruby’s knife_? His brain was past thinking at this point, but he was able to recognize that he shouldn’t draw attention to Sam, so he looked up at Alistair and gave him the smuggest look he could muster. The beating continued, with a number of choice curses from the demon, and as Dean looked back over, he noticed a horrified expression on Katie’s face.

  Following her line of sight, he saw Sam in the far corner of the open space... drinking the demon’s blood. _Drinking it-- what the fuck is going on_? Dean felt Katie’s expression slip onto his face as he watched Sam suck blood straight from the demon’s still-pumping neck.

. . .

  Sam paced when he was deep in thought, or when he was arguing with himself. Right now he was doing both _and_ on a time crunch. Every second he wasted could mean one or both of their lives, which he was unwilling to accept. He had to make a decision, soon.

  Either he could go in and hope Ruby’s blade was enough, or he could…. refuel. Even with his recent string of late night escapades, he hadn’t done _that_ as often as he used to, despite feeling the urge to more often than not. And if Katie or Dean saw him doing it, well, he’s not sure what would happen. He’d like to think they could come to understand, but he has never been lucky and nothing short of luck would be enough for that.

  Before he could decide, two gunshots ringing through the night made the decision for him. Sam stilled and looked expectantly towards the warehouse for the third, but it never came. _Dean must’ve been overrun_ , meaning Sam was going to have to utilize all the options he possessed, even the… unsavory ones. As he pulled the knife from his jeans, he purposely ignored the part of him that was excited.

. . .

  Dean realized a second too late that he had been staring longer than he’d meant to. Sam still hadn’t seemed to notice as he was uh- busy, but Alistair did, judging by the look he was giving Dean.

  “Do you seriously want me to kill her right now, just snap her neck? I can do that if you want, if it will make you pay attention,” the demon snarled in his face, getting close enough that Dean’s eyes threatened to water from the smell of sulfur and- _hell_.

  This time he did not make a smart comment or gesture, just simply looked up at Alistair as he wanted. _We just need time until Cas can get back, just time_. His body protested the notion of waiting, as all he wanted to do was collapse and not resurface for at least a month. _Power through the pain, power through the pain_.This mantra was one of his favorites, and he would be pissed if it stopped working for him now. Luckily it didn’t, as he maintained his current position without too much swaying, although he thinks the swaying may be due to a concussion anyway.

  The demon in front of him smiled as wide as his thin mouth could manage. “See that’s not so hard, is it?” he continued, grabbing Dean’s chin in the process. He didn’t respond, but Alistair never needed prompting to gloat anyway.

  “Do you think you’ll break this time? Maybe start another Apocalypse while you’re at it?” he started again.

  Deans eyes widened in confusion. “What do you mean?” His words sound garbled even to him, but he finds he doesn’t care as Alistair’s features begin to gleam with unadulterated joy.

  “And the Righteous Man shall break and torture in Hell, and so the first seal shall break,” he recited.

  Everything became blank. His face was blank, his mind went blank, nothing made sense anymore. And then it all rushed back and crumbled right in front of him. _I’m responsible for the Apocalypse? I did this_? If there had ever been any doubt in Dean’s mind about how little he deserved life, it had clearly fucked off now. There was no way he was going to be able to come back, not from this one.

  Alistair turned around, presumably to rub the information into Katie’s face, but stopped when he saw the form of Sam Winchester approaching him. “Ah I was wondering when you were going to show up. You ain’t got the juice to take me on, boy,” he growled.

  “You sure about that? Your buddy over there might not agree with you,” Sam scoffed, nodding towards the direction he’d just come from.

  “I’m no ordinary dem-”

  “And yet, here I am, about to destroy you,” Sam stated, Dean shivering from the odd tone his brother had. He sounded- _powerful_.

  The look Alistair shot Sam would have dissuaded any normal human being from continuing, but this was Dean’s life and _when did any Winchester ever fucking pay attention to warning signs_? At this point he was 99% sure that they were all going to die in this shitty warehouse in shitty ass Oklahoma anyway, so he guessed it didn’t matter.

  He looked to his sister again, noting that she was most definitely declining, but was still mostly alert, eyes fixed on Sam. He noticed her hands applying pressure to the wound too, and almost smiled at the tenacity. _Just keep holding on, Cas will get here_. He sent up another prayer in the hopes that maybe it would give his friend the strength to get back faster.

  “See, it would’ve been one thing if you had simply kidnapped my sister and brother,” Sam continued, “Maybe I would have just sent you back to Hell then. But unfortunately for you, you decided to stab and beat the shit out of her, and that I just can’t forgive.” Even as he said it, Sam straightened himself to full height and held his arm out in front of him.

  Dean watched as Alistair started to panic, his arm also raised as if he was attempting to do something to Sam, except nothing was happening. A part of him filled with warm tendrils of hope, while the other was terrified at what his brother was doing, at what he was about to do.

  A smirk graced Sam’s features as Alistair started to sputter and grasp at his throat. It grew as his large frame started to shake, his fist clenching and twisting in a physical tell of what he was doing. Dean stared, open mouthed, as his brother twisted sharply one final time, his eyes flashing black for a split second as he eradicated Alistair from existence.

. . .

  It only took Dean half a second to stop staring at his brother and stagger over to Katie. Hell, he would crawl if he had to. _Please be okay, please be okay_. Dean reached her side just as Sam did, the two of them looking down softly.

  She looked back up, but her skin had become too pale, her eyes too dim. He figured she had maybe five minutes, if they were lucky. Despite this, Dean couldn’t help but gently move her hand to get a better look at the wound. One brief glimpse and he felt the bitter burn of tears starting to well in his eyes, and when he looked up, saw that Sam had been unable to hold back the same reaction.

  “That bad, huh?” a soft voice said from below them.

  Dean wiped his face with his arm, a mixture of blood and tears left behind on the cloth. “Nah, you’re going to be fine. Just need you to hold on a bit longer,” he choked out, feeling like he couldn’t breathe.

  She tried to speak, but coughed instead. Dean bit down on his lip to prevent any sound from escaping him. The cough had left more blood on her mouth, which Dean cleared up as best he could. “I don’t know,” she finally breathed out.

  “Don’t you say that. You don’t get to give up on me now,” Dean gritted out, noticing Sam bring a hand to his mouth out of the corner of his eye. Katie’s head moved in what might have been an attempt at a nod.

  She started again, “But if I don’t-”

  “You’re going to be fine,” Dean interrupted. He couldn’t hear those goddamn words. He couldn’t accept it. _He wouldn’t_.

  She looked at him witheringly, well, as witheringly as she could manage. Normally, he would have smiled, but right now all he wanted to do was cry, scream maybe. “I just want both of you to know that I love you, no matter anything that’s happened.”

  Her words had been slow, calculated, as if she had conserved her energy to make sure she got them all out. Dean was unsurprised that she had begun shaking minutely by the end. His timer was ticking.

  “We love you too,” they answered, one a beat after the other. Sam’s voice gruffer than Dean would have expected.

  Her mouth curved upwards slightly, a ghost of a smile appearing before her eyes widened and a choked breath came from her. “I’m sorry,” Katie gasped out.

  Dean watched in horror as a few tears started to make their way down her temples. _No no no_. A sob escaped Sam beside him, only solidifying the reality he was trying to escape, deny, whatever.

  “There's nothing to be sorry for,” he soothed, moving her head gently into his lap. He stroked her matted hair and gave her now-sticky forehead a kiss.  _She can't die. Not after all of this. I have to make up for earlier, I can't-_

  She continued to struggle beneath him, although his movements seemed to ground her. “Tell Cas I was so- glad to have met him,” she rushed out in between harsh breaths.

  “You can tell him yourself when he gets here,” Dean murmured, continuing his ministrations.

  And then something very odd happened. Dean prayed. He prayed harder than he had ever dared to in his life for Castiel to get back quickly. The only thing was, he sent this prayer to God, even if _He_ wasn’t in the office at the moment. Dean hadn’t done that since the months after his mother died, which seemed oddly fitting considering the situation.

  A hand grabbed his, successfully driving all thoughts of God from his mind as his sister looked up at him wildly. Her other hand was laced in Sam’s, and a quick look at his brother showed that all three of them knew this was almost over.

. . .

  Sam carefully picked up the small hand in his and brought it to his face. She managed to cup it, making eye contact with him as she did. The look he found there made him no longer care about hiding his pain. He allowed his tears to fall freely, his body racking slightly with the force of his silent sobs.

  _I waited too long, I should’ve been here. I-_ His thoughts stopped as she choked harder than she had yet. He watched as Dean gripped her hand tighter, willing her to stay with them. Unfortunately, Sam didn’t think it would work, but he wanted to have that same hope, wanted to feel it with his entire being. He somehow missed the tears that were wetting his brother’s face.

. . .

  “I need you to hold on for me, can you do that?” Dean begged.

  “Trying,” she gasped, “Cold.”

  _Shit, the blood loss must be catching up_. Before Dean could move, Sam had already shrugged his coat off and laid it over top of her. He nodded at Dean, indicating he had noticed the dislocated shoulder that would’ve made his a bitch to get off. Dean nodded back in gratitude.

  “I shouldn’t have taken so long,” Sam muttered darkly to himself a few moments later.

  “He uh- did this pretty quickly, there’s nothing you really could’ve done about it,” Dean disagreed softly but resolutely, trying to calm his brother. He understood all too well what _those_ feelings felt like, and what they did to a person.

  After a moment, Sam spoke again, looking around the room. “What the fuck is taking so long?” The look of anger on his face did not surprise Dean.

  “Banished far away,” Katie rasped out, “He’s- trying. I can hear him.”

  She looked up at Dean, “I can’t, you’ve gotta-” Her eyelids flickered closed.

  He shook her, unwilling to let her go that easy, “No, none of that,” he said.

  “Tired,” she managed in between sharp breaths.

  “I know,” he answered kindly, “and you can sleep all you want when Cas gets here. You want to see Cas don’t you?” He can’t help but think that this sounded an awful lot like the bargaining stage of grief, but he stomped that idea out before it got away from him.

  Katie nodded feebly in response.

  He helplessly looked back up at Sam, who had a look of utter rage building under his tears. It almost frightened him to see.

  A hard and loud gasp brought his attention downward again, Katie gasping for air continuously now. Dean couldn’t bear the look of sheer panic that had overtaken her face, but refused to look away.

  “Shhh, easy. It’s okay, it’s okay,” he whispered, continuing his strokes through her hair.

  As her struggle got louder, another sob escaped from Sam, and although he could barely see through his own tears, Dean gripped tighter onto her hand. She stilled then, breathed a “Sam,” followed by a quiet “Dean,” and closed her eyes. There was no movement for what felt like hours.

  He stared at her and tried, despite knowing the truth, to wake her. “Katie?” he said, shaking her body lightly. “Katie? You just gotta hold on a minute longer. Come on, open your eyes. Please, just open them,” he begged, sounding pathetic even to his own ears.

  Still, she didn’t move. He looked down at his hand and realized hers was no longer gripping back. He couldn’t believe it, _why won’t she hold my hand?_ Because he couldn’t believe she was gone, he couldn’t- But he had to, didn’t he? All the signs pointed there. _There is only one reason she wouldn’t answer_.

  He felt numb, shocked as realization fully settled in. Sam’s sobs were the only thing that kept his mind in the warehouse, his thoughts threatening to drag him places he did not want to go. His brother’s cries filled the space, echoing and filling the hole that was starting to form in Dean’s chest.

  That is, until the ruffle of wings joined in. “Move aside,” a familiar voice commanded from behind him.

  “You’re too late,” he gritted out brokenly, “you’re too late.”


End file.
